Anyone who has seen my story before gets my husband’s multiple problems. He is in ICU and has been for a month. He has pleural effusion, COPD, PKD. He is on five different antibiotics and on dialysis. They have found a spot on his lung which could be cancer.
Anyway, he collects watches and had us lug his boxes to the ICU to “give” to the nurses and doctors. He now wants to buy stuff for them. I told him they already make a lot of money. If he wanted to give them a gift card or something I wouldn’t have a problem, but what is he thinking! Is he trying to bribe his way into a better diagnosis? We are middle class, not rich.
Tell him "against the rules" and drop it.
Next time he asks you to bring in his watches, or $100 bills from the bank, or whatever inappropriate thing, say okay honey and then arrive with a snack for him and say you forgot his watches. If he starts carrying on, ask the staff for calming meds for him.
As Igloocar says - just tell him that it's against the rules (get a nurse to agree with you if you have to). And that his gift to them is to be a good patient who complies with their requests and is kind and patient with them when they are overworked and understaffed.
And you don't have to bring anything to the hospital. He can't get to it himself, you don't have to facilitate the demands.
I'm not supporting what your husband is doing, just that it isn't as unusual as you may think. He may be feeling very grateful, but he also may be having a cognitive problem created by his current health problems (like a UTI or hospital delirium or lack of oxygen caused by his COPD).
In your other post you said you had to borrow $5K for one of his treatments. Suggest to him that you sell those watches to pay off that debt instead.
Are you really asking US what his motivation is?
I don't think he sounds--from your previous posts-- like a stupid man, and to think someone would think that giving a doctor a gift might make a difference to health care, is rather other worldly. I mean sort of out of the realm of the United States.
Please do ask YOUR HUSBAND what his thinking is in this matter, as we would be the last to know.
Is your husband a natural born citizen of the USA? Because in many other countries health care can depend of bribes, and especially did in the past.
This is so bizarre, quite honestly, that I am thinking that right now your husband may not be getting enough 02 to the brain. A brain deprived of oxygen can do stuff like this. I would discuss some of these more or less bizarre things with the docs and ask just that question.
Tell him that you have been told by "administration" that giving gifts to the staff is prohibited.
Tell him you can give a "collective" gift that everyone can appreciate. When you go visit him bring in a large platter or box of cookies (or candy or a basket of fruit) that you pick up from a store. Give him a card to sign so they know it is from him. And he can present it to the staff.
Sometimes I'd make something and keep it in DH's room..amazing how many people would come strolling in to 'check' on him and walk out with a bag of brownies. I fully know that I was bribing them---but hey, all's fair in love and war and crappy healthcare. He got more attention that way--and I have continued to do this with each of his subsequent hospitalizations over the years.
My SIL works with one of these hepatologists now that he is a fully board qualified one himself. This doc remembered me well and my treats. Drs seems to need to run on massive amounts of sugar.
I would absolutely NOT bring gift cards or tokens of appreciation.
I know how much money my SIL makes and a $10 GC to Cheesecake Factory, while nicely intended? Not going to make a hill of beans difference in the care.
Honestly, he's not making a lot of sense wanting to order new phones saying he can't watch the apps he likes on his old phone (he can, he just doesn't have the big screen TV like at home).
If he continues starting fights with you about these ridiculous things you can simply leave for the day or turn your phone off.
As for his throwing temper tantrums and texting nephew over and over at 2 am about those silly watches that's what the block feature on the phone is for. He can be unblocked later.
You can take a stand with food so you are capable of saying no to him. It sounds like he is getting some kind of cognitive issues or decline. Maybe he has a UTI.
You really need to start getting your financial ducks in a row before husband comes home from the hospital otherwise he may just bankrupt you further with his childish behavior.