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His sister has moved with their mother and won't tell him the address. We are so frustrated. My husband's sister decided to move in with their elderly mother who has progressive dementia. At first we thought it was a good idea but now she has moved with their mom and won't tell my husband where they have moved to. We know she has convinced my mother in law to add the sister's name to her bank account and we believe that she is helping herself to the life savings the mom has spent her whole life accumulating. My husband was the POA but the sister convinced the mom to replace him with you know who. Isn't it tragic that we are talking about family members that commit this kind of treachery.

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Missymay, Take screenshots of everything your SiL puts online, EVERYTHING. You do know how to do that right? Be sure to screenshot the WHOLE screen so you have the time/date that's in the bottom right corner of your computer. Then save them in a folder in your computer. And it's probably in your best interest not to respond to her because she can take screenshots as well.
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I have already experienced four siblings who tried to keep me away from our dying mother, so no, nothing surprises me about family members. Yes you can legally do something about trying to find your husband's mother. Call the police, say he has a POA, she has been removed from the state (or wherever you think daughter has her), then call adult protective services, file in Probate Court for guardianship and let the judge appoint an investigator for your mother-in-law's best interest. You could hire a private detective, attorney, etc. and go to her bank with the POA and ask to see a record of where money has been spent. Maybe there will be a rent check for some apartment. Good luck!
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Is the sister a drug addict or an alcoholic? Is the sister mentally incapacitated in any way? Can it be proven that she is stealing from your MiL's account for herself instead of taking care of her mother? Is your MiL allowed to sign anything or make any decisions with dementia? My guess is that you would be hard pressed to prove any of this. The most important thing, is she genuinely taking good care of her mother? If you are concerned about that, then consider a lawyer. If however she is taking good care of her mom, then ask yourself, how important is that money? More important than the relationships? More important than the chance to be with his mother?

If the only thing you want is the address, there are search engines online for that sort of thing that will charge you. With a move that fresh the results might be iffy. I like spokeo best and it's free to begin with. Heck they are down right scarey for all they know. You can also hire a private detective if you are truly afraid for your mother's health and life, he or she can get all kinds of stuff on your SiL if there is anything to be had.

I wish you all the best.
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Your best bet is to contact a lawyer who specializes in cases concerning the elderly. I am so sorry that this is happening to your husband and his mother, and I know you hurt watching them be torn apart. It is important that his mother's money be safeguarded if it is to be her only means of support; she may live a very long time and will need that. I'm sure a good lawyer can give you advice on where and how to begin. Maybe some of the women here have more advice, I've never had to contact a lawyer concerning mother. You might even search through the threads here and see if any of them are helpful to you.
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woah. this is awful. can you call the police and ask about reporting his mother missing...given that the sister took mom i suggest talking to the police first because mom isn't really missing per se...but this is a crime I am sure...also please check what is elder abuse, and isolating his mom and holding her hostage is elder abuse...it is trust me. go to the police first, and if they cannot assist you go to adult protective services...this is abuse. Hire a private detective? although I don't know what the detective has to go on if sister just disappeared with mom.

I have heard horrible stories about families and I am shocked by what I have heard...people do things that I would never even have thought to do...boy are we naive. detective might need/can use sister or mom's sS #--if you know the bank name they might be able to locate via the bank (perhaps you can do this)...are
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i already commented but wanted to add; know one yet knows if this will turn legal etc etc but if your mom has been diagnosed with dementia/alzheimer's and you have it in writing from a phyician, then a lawyer who changed the poa could be held accountable...mom and i saw a lawyer and mom was pretty with it at the time but he would not update her trust because she didn't understand what was going on in that regard...some lawyers will do anything for money...first and foremost is of course finding MIL. Even if she is being well taken care of, there is no excuse on this planet for holding her hostage...do not reveal any of your information or give her any threats (to call the police) on line....anything you write can and will be used against you if a fight ensues...but do take action just dont let the sister know...please let us know if you find MIL...
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Even Spokeo won't have a current address if her address wasn't changed with the Dept. of Motor Vehicles. All you'll get from Spokeo and the like are previous addresses. When my bro took my mom then placed her in a memory care facility, there was NO way of me knowing where she was. I called Dept. of Aging, the police and Adult Protective Services. They all told me it sounded like a family quarrel and there was NOTHING they could do. I really hope someone has a better and helpful answer for you. Blessings
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does the ip address on a computer give the computer location or the owner/user of the computer? just a thought.
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If you know where your mIL gets her prescriptions filled you might ask them for her current address or phone number. I know there are privacy issues involved but if you or your husband have previously picked them up for her they may give you that info. You could make up a story about your mil calling her Dr's and friends stating that she has a new address because she moved. Tell them you are touching base with everyone involved in her healthcare to make sure they have the correct contact information. Tell them her previous address (you should know the address where she resided before your sister moved her) and they MIGHT tell you what address they have on file for her now. I know this is probably illegal for them to do but keep in mind that not all Employees follow the rules. Some would think they are being helpful to you. A detective would try this to get info so you can try it for yourself. Try her hairdresser, church, friends, somebody has to know where she is.
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You might (pretend) to make an offer to help pay for some of your mother-in-law's care. I have a feeling dear sister-in-law will divulge their whereabouts ASAP!
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