So read some questions and answers from way back in 2010 and 2017 where people spoke about similar situations. My mother had a serious stroke in September and got awful care at the hospital. She's had infection after infection and other issues that they didn't treat properly and because we chose for faith reasons and her medical history reasons to not get her a covid vaccine hospital started telling me that no nursing facility would take her. She has been in the hospital for 4 months and now they're telling me I have like a week to get her out of the hospital and if no nursing home or skilled nursing facility will take her, I will have to take her home. She has a feeding tube, is paralyzed on one side and our home is not conducive or large enough to have nurses being there 24/7. Small kitchen and living room that we'd need to put my mother in. Small bedrooms are on second floor, with very narrow staircase. Rooms either don't have furniture now or it's old and broken down, and my mother started to hoard mail and some other things. I'm in the process of trying to clean stuff out, but I have to do that in the middle of doing 10 other things every day plus work, so it is a slow go. We'd need to move furniture, get rid of furniture and purchase hospital bed and other equipment. Plus, my brother is on disability for a heart and back condition and recently had knee surgery and I still have to work and don't actually live in my mother's house. Anybody know of resources in Massachusetts or New England area that I can check out. Places that might be willing to take her at least temporarily until we can get the house settled. Lawyers that will fight for our rights to have a place for my mother. I'm willing to take her out of state if possible so we can get her some more medical care and rehab before bringing her home. That is what she needs. She needs to get off feeding tube. New Hampshire even or any place at this point.
The treatment of my elderly mother and how the administration and some hospital staff has treated me is making me sick. I don't eat well because I get so upset after talking to them and I now often sleep only 2 to 3 hours a night because of how upset I still am at bedtime, and it sometimes only comes from sheer exhaustion.
Choices have consequences, and if a group living environment like a nursing home requires vaccinations, so be it. Others are not required to be sacrificed because of your decisions.
You have to take responsibility for your choices, so home she goes, I guess.
Your choices are stark:
- get her vaxxed
- find a private pay only facility that does not do any participation in any Medicare or Medicaid programs. This will be very hard to do as something as routine as an annual flu shot or the pneumonia shot that facilities require of residents is covered by & paid for by Medicare.
- The medical directors at private pay NH will be participating in Medicare so none will be able to get paid to ever see her as she is not vaxxed. She would need to find an outside MD somewhere who does not participate in Medicare. Not ever likely….
- Should you actually find a private pay only place, I’ll guess 20K-25k a month with 3 months up front. & cash up front non refundable paid.
- take her home and you & your family do all the caregiving for her. Being unvaxxed means any In-Home health care companies will find it difficult to do any services for her as they have other clients that are having their care in some way underwritten by Medicare or Medicaid. The IHHS companies right now have a huge waiting list. If they are faced with going to a unvaccinated household or one that is fully vaccinated, vaccinated wins.
Also should this come to an impasse with the hospital and you do not pick her up, the discharge planner can contact APS and ask APS to intervene and request an emergency ward of the state placement for your mom. Happens all the time and that guardian is now in charge of all decisions regarding her. Yes, you can challenge it but you’ll need an attorney for the hearing likely set for months from now and you would have to show why decisions made as her POA or decisions she made while you were her POA were done in best interest…. the Supreme Court decision notwithstanding. Lol.
Just too bad for your mom but that’s entirely on her and her decisions. She could get jabbed tomorrow & get beyond this, get admitted into a facility w/24/7 skilled nursing care oversight; you do realize this, don’t you? Personally I find this a ridiculous hill to take a stand on; no sympathy.
What's the basis for your being held responsible for her care - are you her MPOA, guardian, anything like that?
Consider that God works through people. I don't have what it takes to become a doctor, but many people do. God gave them the brains and skills to help heal people, or at least keep them comfortable as they leave this world. THAT is the work of God, and it's ridiculous to shun that and then ask God why your mother is still suffering. He provided the help to you, and you've decided you know God's will better than He does. You might as well stop all medical treatment if you don't trust it. It’s not as if everything else is safe but the vaccine isn’t.
The world right now is unrecognizable for all of us. Your mother either plays the game THEIR way or you take her home. End of story. If a man on his literal deathbed, seizing in pain was refused admittance to a SNF due to not being jabbed, that pretty much says it all. And the icing on the cake is that he tested positive AFTER being admitted. There's no winning here.
Best of luck
See the Pope say so on the Vatican's own news page:
https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2021-08/pope-francis-appeal-covid-19-vaccines-act-of-love.html
but, know that any facility can set forth their requirements and rules for accepting new patients.
But, given that the situation is such that you are unable to bring your parent home, stand firm, be firm with the hospital and their social workers - you are unable to care for your parent in your home. End of discussion. They will try to reason with you, logic with you, make you feel guilty- don't fall for it. The facility the hospital may find may not be the highest quality, but, at least it could give you some time to research more options.
You could do a hotel with a 24/7 nurse, but that will become very expensive. And with a feeding tube in, don't think a hotel will be willing to have an ambulance pull up and bring a 'guest' in on a stretcher...they might decline the liability.
You might want to lay out your plan A, B, C and D, because with your parent not vaccinated, it will be very difficult finding a facility willing to take her. So, be ready to figure that one out.