I'm alarmed by my mom's loss of appetite. What should we do?
My mom is 84 and had a stroke last May, which has left her wheelchair-bound and with 24/7 care at home. She can speak and eat and mostly has her marbles (short-term memory is bad). She has always had a big appetite-- for food, for drink, and for life in general. Even after the stroke, she would eat a lot, want dessert, and want 2 drinks. Now we go out to dinner and she has one drink, and maybe 3 bites of food. I asked her if she is trying to starve herself to death and she laughed. She still has a huge life force, but not much appetite. Her home aide says she eats a pretty good breakfast, but mostly has Ensures for the rest of the day. She did have breast cancer a few years ago, so maybe that is recurring?? I guess I will call her oncologist, although not sure what she would do at this point.
Did she have a swallow test after the stroke?
If you, like me, like to have actual numbers to work with, you could ask a dietitian what your mother's Base Metabolic Requirement (BMR) should be. Then you can keep tabs on whether she's getting enough fuel to keep body and soul together :)
My dad eats like a horse, yet still is losing weight...and when my mom didn't eat at all, her body told us she was getting ready to go, so that is a big indicator.
Talk to her about it, be transparent, and ask HER if she feels to go back to the dr. It's the one thing elders can control...being poked and prodded is no joke at that age, one becomes more sensitive than ever on all levels...
Used to be she ate as regular as a clock. 7 am, 11:30, 5. Now she eats a salad sometime in the early afternoon and maybe has toast or something very light in the late afternoon. She's not losing weight, as she eats "out" twice a week, and I think eats pretty well. Just she doesn't move much at all, hence, not burning any calories. I doubt mother walks 1000 steps a day. Or as she calls them: shuffles.
Obviously, with your mother that has had cancer, this is your first thought--it's returned. Maybe, but get her to the doc and address this first.
When my parents were in IL my dad had a wonderful, full time paid caregiver. The caregiver always made lunch for both my parents as well as frequently making up dinner plates - left in the fridge for later. I remember the first time I saw one of these dinners, neatly plated up in the fridge. Two plates, each with a half a sandwich, a small cup with about two ounces of yogurt and about six grapes. I was shocked that this wonderful caregiver was starving my parents! After bringing it up with my parents and the caregiver I came to understand that this was truly all they wanted to eat. Later, after my dad passed - my mother went through a soup phase. Mom pretty much existed on soup for quite a while.
Still, if that voice in your head is telling you to be concerned - bring it to your mothers doctors attention. At the least, he may be able to put your fears to rest.
Beyond that, as another reply stated - make every calorie you can get into your mother count. Try to get your mom to eat things high in protein - and high in fiber as well.
Three months ago I moved her to assisted living. Last week we went for her quarterly doctor's visit, and he was happy that she was up to 106, and so was I.
So perhaps because the aides bring everyone the same serving sizes, and that she is in a communal dining area, that she is eating more. I do make sure she has her ice cream, and pudding, and nutrition drinks in her refrigerator in her apartment also, and she is either eating them well, or giving them out to friends. Whatever it is, we are all happy to see this sign that she is thriving under the care of the folks at the ALF.
I called her doctor, who asked me a bunch of questions: Do her teeth or tongue hurt, is she in pain, does she seem depressed? The only one that might be true is that she's depressed - although she insists she's not and she is eager to see the few people in her life and get out for a bit when she can. (She has 24/7 aides.) Doc suggested prescribing Remeron, an antidepressant that also stimulates appetite. Mom says she doesn't want that. Aides say she tends to eat one big meal and then Ensure (which she likes) for the rest. So I guess that's it for now. What's crazy is we go out to eat 2x a week when I visit. She orders a pricey entree (we're in NYC) and a vodka on the rocks. Eats 3 bites of the food (but drinks all of the vodka!) and says she's done. I keep encouraging her to get an appetizer instead. Anyway, I always take the leftovers and either I or one of my kids eats them.
It's just something to check, not to be alarmed about.
I guess sneaking an antidepressant into her meds is not the right thing to do for her mood. Her affect is so flat and the look in her eyes is so blank. She still enjoys her few visitors. The one thing she really enjoys lately is having me google things and people and listening to me read about them. Today we started with Joan of Arc and somehow ended up with Watergate!