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My 85 year old dad has asthma and has been sheltering safely at home two weeks ago since the COVID-19 pandemic. Grocery stores in his area are open for curbside pickup, but none seem to be offering delivery right now. I called one of the local large chains in his area, and their website is not processing orders. I do not believe him walking through the aisles among other shoppers is an option since he has pre-existing lung condition. Is it safe for him to order online, then drive to a curb side location and ask the workers to load the bags in the car? What is a good practice under these conditions? He is seriously scared to leave the house and even allow himself to be within 10 feet of anyone or handle bags others have touched. What do you think would be a good and safe approach?

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I notice everyone talks about masks, gloves and Lysol spray like everyone was able to score some! My poor sister couldn't even find a thermometer and hand sanitizer, and she has had a fever for a week!
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Oh Ginger, I am so sorry that he is being ugly to you.

I would back off and let them figure it out.

You don't deserve the abuse for caring enough to worry. Let him ask for help before you do anything else.

Ya know, no plan is a choice that he has made. Choices have consequences.

Take care of you, find ways to be productive and this will pass.
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Be careful about wearing gloves. There is a certain way those gloves need to be taken off [inside out] so if there are any contaminants on the gloves it doesn't go airborne. That's one reason why said gloves are only used once in medical settings.

If you are wearing gardening gloves for the virus, the removal is the same process, then throw into the wash.
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Why is this poor man living alone and shopping for himself?
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worriedinCali Apr 2020
Do you really think all 85 year olds are demented invalids? That are a lot of folks in their 80’s and 90s who are able to live independently. He’s only 85 for Gods sake!
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In my community we have the Nextdoor app. Many people are offering to help to their neighbors in different ways. You might want to see if this app is available in his area. Maybe if his groceries are delivered a neighbor could come over and disinfect them before he takes them into his house.Good luck to you both.
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I work for IHSS which gives aid to the elderly who want to stay in their home, but need assistance with the day to day tasks. This field of work is growing as some nursing homes have bad reputations. It is available in most states. Once he is comfortable with an a assistant, he could confidently get all he needs. If your close (or not) you can find a provider in his area. Google IHSS. Even during this pandemic, providers are still working with strict guidelines to protect their recipients and flaten the spread.
I hope you find a solution for your dad. Good luck and God Bless.
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Meals on Wheels? I keep thinking Im not carying it.. I need to start wearing the gloves etc.. My spouse had asthma as a kid,, BIL has COPD,,, so it runs in the family.
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Contact his local church. They have lots of contacts w/ food banks and volunteers. Or ask a neighbor of his. There are many helpers out there if you ask. Wipe down all bags before bringing them in the house.
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Meals on wheels, Catholic charities deliver now.
Hugs 🤗
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Kroger has delivery-- call 'em !
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No, he should not leave his house. Can you order from Amazon Fresh or other delivery services for him?
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Yes, I think as long as he follows precautions, I think he would be safe to do curbside pickup. Or is there anyone such as a neighbor,friend, or family member who can shop for him? If he does shop, I would also suggest shopping during "senior hours" to maximize his safety. Good practice is to wash hands when he gets back from the store, unpack the groceries,and then wash his hands again. Additionally, he could use disinfecting wipes to wipe down the groceries prior to putting them away. Amazon may be an option as well depending on his needs.
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I agree with NextDoor if you shopping for him is not an option- I've seen many posts where folks have offered to help shop and deliver. Some grocery stores have curbside pickup as well so that is another good option. I believe they may load into the car (would have to ask). One of my friends sprays the bags with lysol for her mom before she brings them in. My mom is 81 and isn't concerned (she hasn't left the house since November due to bad mobility and pain), however, I still unpack her groceries, wash my hands and wipe down surfaces when done (pretty much did all this before Covid so nothing has really changed lol).
With your dad having asthma, extra precautions will need to be taken. I would avoid even more now from putting bags on counters. He may be a little more at ease wearing gloves, but he will definitely want to ensure to disinfect surfaces.
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Thank you everyone for the helpful advice. I am pursuing these options for him. Very grateful for your advice.
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Amazon has a pantry min. $35 free delivery Walmart you can order pantry items min. $35 but be prepared lots of items are in
bulk
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
Maybe neighbors could share the costs of bulk items and order items to be split up amongst each other. I have done this with my neighbor before going to buy in bulk at Sam’s Club.

Fortunately my husband is doing the shopping because I have asthma too. I have been hospitalized for my asthma. I do have a nebulizer for home use and I have my inhaler.

I just heard a medical report that stated if we need to use our nebulizers at home, we need to use it alone in a room in order not contaminate others.

I was on a breathing machine in the hospital but the doctor also insisted that I use my nebulizer (breathing treatment) at home after being released from my hospital stay. I hate having asthma.

It’s miserable and is frightening at times. I have been in danger with severe asthma attacks and had to remain in the hospital until I improved.
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😲 OMG PUT ON THE NECESSARY GEAR ON SUCH AS GLOVES AND A MASK AND HELP HER OUT WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER ❤ WE NEED TO BE CREATIVE EXSPECISLLY WITH OUR ELDERLY PEOPLE GOD WILL BLESS YOU. GOD BLESS 💘 DOROTHY
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GingerMay Mar 2020
I assume you are not yelling at me, and just got stuck on Caps Lock? I live in a hot spot. Don't even want to walk out my door. Engaging services locally for him is the best option. He has made no alternate plans. I could let him figure it out, but he is not computer savvy. I just completed some online orders on his behalf, and found a pharmacy that will do free delivery to seniors. I felt relieved and called to inform him of these arrangements. Do you want to know how he responded? He said he was too busy to talk, angrily told me I had too much anxiety and was not handling it well and to go watch Dr. Phil for some pointers then hung up.
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Given you father's fear of other people, it's a little more difficult, obviously. If you are not in a position to shop for him, most grocery stores are providing curb side pickup. Someone else here mentioned Nextdoor, a social media site for people in many sizes of neighborhoods. I belong to one myself. You can probably sign him up for one in his area, instruct him how to use it --presuming he uses a computer. Post that your father needs some help with grocery delivery. Many people are more than happy to provide this service to elderly in their neighborhoods --for free. If the delivery helper understands that in delivering he/she should wear gloves/mask when holding the bag/box of groceries so that your father sees he has nothing to fear. Your father's asthma puts him at risk much more than the virus itself. If he wants to eat and he needs someone to deliver it to him, these measures should put him at ease. Complaining about all the hazards certainly won't do anyone any good --so try to ignore that. Being 85 and in ill health is surely tougher on him so do what you can to make the arrangements for him.
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where does he live
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GingerMay Mar 2020
Grand Blanc, Michigan
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Curbside pick up is good and avoids all the shoppers inside which is far better than being around a lot of people. Very minimal contact and they will load it up for him.
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I'd have him use the curbside pick up service, then unload the groceries in the garage. Wipe down everything with Clorox spray and disposable paper towels *while wearing rubber gloves*, throw out all exterior containers (like cardboard boxes that yoghurt cups come in etc) and all grocery bags, then bring everything inside and put away. Throw the gloves away in the garage before coming in, too, that should say. In other words, use precaution in all ways but don't let paranoia reach the point where he's more at risk from panic attacks than from the virus itself. You know?

Let's also keep this fact in mind: the virus HAS been around us since December 2019. MANY of us have already had it without knowing it. And we have survived. The vast majority who do contract the virus will have a MILD case of it and WILL recover. When we look at the statistics, we lose sight of these facts and tend to focus on the mortality rate rather than the recovery rate.

Wishing you & your dear dad the best of luck moving forward.
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my2cents Mar 2020
For someone his age and other health issues, you do have to focus on mortality rate and take every single precaution to avoid contact.
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from what I understand the virus can live on cardboard for 72 hrs...so what I have been doing is keeping boxes etc outside for the 72 hrs and then opening up and bringing things in...that is only non-perishables and it has been things I don’t need right away anyway. I am thinking if you could spray boxes & bags down with lysol or having a liquid detergent in a bucket with a towel and wiping things down outside 1st before you bring them in. From what others believe below...IT IS a risk to handle bags that others have touched..it’s a risk to set your purse down on the counter at Walgreens and then you touch your purse,,so then of course it’s a risk to touch bags others have touched.. it’s very overwhelming all of this, it’s like we should be in a hazmat suit.. instead of overwhelming myself with all this I have just been pumping myself up with healthy food and vitamins, astralagus, probiotics 2x/day washing my hands often. But you are talking about an elder so already compromised immune system. I would pump them up as well because I think you cannot not go around and not be contaminated, it’s just too hard to keep up with.
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GAinPA Mar 2020
It’s a small thing but instead of carrying a handbag, I have mine over my opposite shoulder “bandolier” style & across my chest so it doesn’t need to set on the counter. Also, my hand sanitizer is in a small harness type holder that is accessible to swing out for use.
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Sounds like you do not live in the same area as your father.
I hope your father is already signed up for Meals on Wheels, as they have strict protocols in place already for food prep & delivery. That would ensure at least one hot meal a day for him while he is sheltering in place. Contact his local church/food pantry for food box delivery if available and then look at purchasing other items. The prices are already going up. I appreciate your efforts to find him assistance.
Does he have a trusted friend/neighbor whom he can rely on? Lots of great suggestions above.
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TRyan ordering from an online grocery store like walmart where they have all kinds of products and drive up pickup. Have your own gloves to handle the bags with. A set of cotton gloves should work nicely and can be washed as needed. There are also delivery services like instacart and dash cart that will transport for you if even going outdoors is a big risk.
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I’m wondering why you can’t do his shopping for him. God Bless you and your father to do the right thing.
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GingerMay, have you called his local store and asked if they have a special protocol for helping high risk customers?

I would do that and then encourage dad to wear gloves, mask and something to cover his clothes while he picks them up and puts them away. Reminding his that he needs to wash his hands and not touch his face.

I would also tell him to put a towel over the table and set all of his groceries on there, then he can throw that right in the washer with whatever he wore over his clothes.

I know that it has to be simple and easy for my dad or he won't do it.

I hope that you find a good solution and that you all stay well and safe.
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Have you asked his Area Agency on Aging? They may have put together lists of community volunteers who'll help with things like this - I know our council has. It's all a bit hit-and-miss at the moment but their hearts are definitely in the right place!
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GingerMay Mar 2020
Thank you, CM. I just called and left a message. The recording said they are returning all calls within 24-48 hours. Hope they may have some options. Thanks.
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Try Amazon; they are usually quite speedy with deliveries & you can enter any fooe item you need & they'll get it for you. Best Wishes, Marilyn
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Walrus77 Mar 2020
I don't know where you are but I'm in the UK and tried ordering masks from Amazon. I thought it wasn't bad as it seemed to be next day (Prime member). It was only after ordering I realised it wasn't the same month, so in actual fact its over a month to deliver on Prime. I would have thought masks of any sort currently would be classed as essential but seemingly its generally not the case as I checked others to find the same or longer. Is food essential? Maybe Amazon knows the answer.
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His only option seems to be Curb side pickup.
He can wear a mask and gloves, drive up open his vehicle go back and sit in his car til they finish loading up.

HEB just started free home delivery where you order on line, pay with a credit card, ect and they will give you a time and leave it on your porch.
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He is right to avoid stores. We use Amazon Prime, Costco and Instacart for deliveries. You can also use DoorDash for local restaurants. Watch the video someone posted below https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjDuwc9KBps. This doctor Taught me how to handle containers. Very informative.
I am on Nextdoor and many people are offering to help others. Suggest you sign up there. Also call his town’s senior center and/or town hall to see what programs are set up to assist. Obviously you are not close by. Try to get more frozen and canned items so a shopping trip can last 3 weeks. If possible. Be safe everyone! ❤️🙏❤️
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Hummer Mar 2020
I am loving InstaCart! Surprising how many stores and pharmacies you can deliveries from.
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The others who said it's time to try to get help for him. I'm assuming you don't live near him. There are some delivery services that will drop things off at the door, but you'll have to check if they deliver to his location (Amazon prime, Peapod (Stop & Shop), etc.). But you can't avoid having other people touching things. If he uses gloves or washes his hands after putting things away and wipes off and washes cans and bottles before putting them away hopefully whatever might be on them will be cleaned off. I read an article that covid-19 only lasts for 4 hours or so on soft surfaces such as cardboard. Hopefully this information is accurate.
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