My uncle is in Assisted Living is 3 states away, no children, never married, friends either dead or too old to be involved. I have been his POA for 4 years now and found this AL which has garnered.many awards. I visit every 8-10 weeks for a couple of days. I am his financial and medical POA. His Parkinsons seems to have advanced to a point where he is in a wheelchair and finding it difficult to use a pen , pick up book or hold phone.. His hearing, even with hearing aids and special phone aids is often so bad he can't hear me on the phone. We have checked his hearing aids and ears for wax and that is not the problem. Often, he can't hear anyone unless they are in front of him and he can kind of read lips. At the same time,, he seems to be losing his ability to use the call button to request an aide to help with toileting. He has started calling me repeatedly to yell for help but cant hear me respond.. I then call the community front desk and they send someone up for him. I have spoken to head nurse but they dont really have a solution.He was an English professor and the loss of his mental faculties and finger dexterity is extremely hard on him when he is thinking correctly. Any thoughts on help with ways to have him summon aides other than a regular around the neck call button to.press? Any suggestions on how to communicate now that he no longer uses a computer/ipad etc?
Sorry for the long post but feeling heartbroken over my inability to make life easier for him.
Your uncle's Parkinson's has likely caused him to develop dementia, usually Lewy Body Dementia to be specific, which is preventing him from remembering how to use the call button and from understanding language anymore. He would likely benefit from memory care AL now where they're normally congregated together in the activity room all day and checked on frequently while in their rooms.
Communication with an elder in such a state often comes down to facial expressions, hugs and affectionate touches, hand holding and hugs. You can convey your love for him in those manners just as easily as saying I love you out loud. I realize you don't see him frequently, however, so perhaps sending him cards and small gifts of food in the interim might be beneficial.
Best of luck.
Do they have a memory care unit?
This is tough to witness from so far away and impossible to address this way.
You say you spoke with the nurse.
She never suggested MC?
I am a little surprised at that.
I do think a phone that doesn't work in terms of he can't hear you is no option. I think he is perhaps beyond using the phone, or could be using it to contact someone actually in reach, like the nurse.
Wish I had a solution. Hoping someone else does.
Assisted Living possibly no longer the appropriate placement.
I’m sorry. You’re in a tough spot!
I get your sadness at the thought of moving him when he is settled and loves the view--that seems like about the only positive of him living right where he is.
Can you facilitate a 'well check' for, say, every 2 hrs during the day? Just someone in the facility to pop in w/o being summoned? Other than that, I think that he will soon be in MC which is much higher level of care.
Hopefully the facility can accommodate your uncle's needs--just a quick pop in visit frequently during the day. If they can't do that--you may have to move him. I hope not--this isn't a huge problem and can be solved easily.