Mom's going down that slippery slope again.
The last couple of months have been pretty good. My mother has let me take charge of her medicine and she has been pretty stable. Things are starting to change, though. We seem to be heading down the same slippery slope that lead to unbearable stress and financial loss that we faced last year. My mother has generalized anxiety disorder. She worries all the time that things around her are going to go wrong. I've been noticing an increase in her worrying lately. Today it started to get bad.
It may seem rather silly, but I know the damage her worries can do. Last year she started worrying about the water heater, so called an emergency repair person in the middle of the night. I woke up to a nightmare in the early morning. The repairman charged $2400+ to replace the water heater and spilled it all over the floor. He said he saw moisture and fungus in the crawl space, so needed to call a cleanup crew. I knew there was no moisture. I knew he hadn't even looked, because he was too fat to fit under the vent work. I try to stop her, but she was out of control. Final bill -- almost $10,000! After it was all over, she said that she was really stupid.
Things like this happen too often here. It always follow the same type path. She notices something wrong, gets on the phone to call someone when I'm not around, and by the time I figure out what is going on, we are in the middle of a catastrophe, and she won't listen to me. Then she realizes that she did something really foolish that caused stress and big money loss, gets really depressed, and starts wanting more sedatives.
This morning she was worried that the floor was wiggling, so she wants to call the foundation people. She also thinks there are cracks between the boards of the floor, letting toxic gas and little bugs get in. She thinks they are making her sick and making her skin itch. She also thinks the pecan trees in back are sick and we need to take them down -- they aren't even on our property. I had to stop her from calling the fire department. I told her it wasn't their job and they weren't out trees. She is worried that the central air is going to go out. She called the service people and scheduled an appointment. This is okay, since we get a free appointment each year and they are honest. She also knows something is wrong with me. She has even made up some things I am doing. I tell her she must have dreamed these things, since they didn't happen.
I can feel we are heading toward catastrophe, but I never know how to stop it. She worries and worries, then waits until I am not looking to put the catastrophe in motion. Right now I just wonder if it will be the floors or the trees or both. (I forgot to mention the attic that she has decided needs fixing.) I am bracing, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I keep saying everything is okay. Nothing needs to be fixed, but having been through it a few times in the past, I realize my words are ignored... until after the fact when she feels terrible about the mistakes made.
Personally I've wondered if she actually enjoys creating the drama and only regrets that the dramas set her back a lot of money. And, of course, it is me that has to deal with the messes being made. Thanks for listening. I hope for the best, but am getting ready for a rough ride.
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It has been a strange last couple of days. Last night she was waxing her bedroom floor to seal the cracks between the boards. I've told her those aren't really cracks, but she doesn't take what I say seriously. I'm sure she thinks bugs and noxious stuff is coming up through those "cracks." Today I talked to her about how nerves can play tricks on people, making them feel like bugs are on them. I hope it registers with her. She hasn't mentioned the bugs and chemicals to me in a few days, but I have a feeling the thoughts are still there. In the past I just ignored her concerns that seemed off the wall. I thought that addressing them may help prevent the radical actions she has done in the past. All fingers crossed.
I have dealt with my fair share of family mental illness. My thoughts go out to you.
She has also been concerned about the amount of chlorine the water company is using. She called them the other day. They flushed the fire hydrant and we flushed the house. Still it didn't fix the problem. The neighbors said they didn't notice anything unusual. He conclusion was that it was only our house. I told her that I didn't notice anything unusual. Her conclusion was that it was only our house, because apparently I didn't count. :) She called them again a couple of days ago. I think they figured out she was just difficult. I told her that she was probably just sensitive, and that she couldn't expect the city to stop chlorinating the water because she was sensitive. We have bottled water, but this one is not going to die down, I have a feeling.
The house foundation company is coming out next week. They were scheduled already, so it isn't because a special call. Maybe I can get them to fix the cracks in the floor that exist in her mind. I can't do anything about the imaginary poison ivy that she keeps getting into. I've been trying to convince her that financial catastrophe is not in her immediate future, but it comes up fresh every day. She can't remember how much she has.
I told her that she just needs to worry about something. If there was nothing to worry about, she would invent it. She knows that is true. Still she convinces herself that her world around her is all crumbling. (I won't go into her thoughts on the attic right now.)
What she is going on does not affect me too badly. The only thing I am trying to do presently is damage control. There are people out there who would take advantage of people not thinking clearly. And there are other people she would drive to craziness if I didn't stop her from taking action on her imaginations.
I remember when we were young we knew of crazy old people that no one really took seriously. I guess my mother just became one of them. We know so much more now about the brain that we tend to look at things more seriously than we used to. Sometimes I wonder if we were better off in the old days.
I could write a book about the strange things that go on, but I'll spare everyone. She did have a UTI earlier this summer. That was very, very bad even though it was a slight bladder infection. I would never want to relive those days of psychotic behavior, doctors and ER visits, and her looking like she was going to die. Those were some of the worst days of my life.
Right now her memory is getting worse, so it may be soon that we will have to get a dx. It is a shame she does not want to go to the local Kirtland Clinic at UAB here in Birmingham. They are supposed to be excellent in geriatric health care. I am glad they will be there when I can finally get her to go.