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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I am a only child and her sister doesn't want her to live with her. I am stuck. She makes too much for Medicaid and I can't afford to send her anywhere. Today was a bad day. She cussed me out, tried to fight me. I don't know if I can do this.
This sounds like a situation that will only make you more miserable as time goes on. Mom has gotten physical with you? That’s not good. If you’re involved in anything physical with her and she should fall and get hurt, it will not go well for you. Just the idea of living with someone who is miserably mean and nasty doesn’t sound like a great way to exist.
On Monday, call your local Area Agency on Aging and ask them who you’d speak with about opening a Miller or Qualified Income Trust. You will probably be directed to your Department of Human Resources. This trust will allow you to open an account or “trust” for Mom. However much she is over with her income that is disqualifying her from Medicaid will be deposited in the bank account you will open. In our case, it was $245 out of my husband’s check per month. Mom will then qualify for Medicaid and you can get her into a facility.
It's not easy, I've been taking care of my mom for 19 years, but the past 3to5 years she has done everything your mom has done except mine has gotten way worst. She said I have stolen money and things from her she says the meanest things to me to where I just don't like her at all she quit taking care of herself, such as changing her underwear taking a bath , any thing to do with hygiene she just won't do. She is worst that any 2 year old child. We never got along when I was younger at all. What doesn't help is I am an only child and all her brothers and sisters are dead, so that just leaves me. Taking care of your mom is going to take up most of your time. I don't even get me time anymore. I can't afford to hire someone to come in part time plus that would not work for me. Being able to talk about it to people does help me a little. You just have to figure out what works for you. I am still doing that. I hope I have help you in some way. The bottom line is what's good for you, cause if u are healthy and happy you will not be able to take care of your mom. Taking care of the older ones is not easy. I really do admire all these caregivers cause it's not a easy!
I think that your sister probably made the wise decision here. I doubt very much that this will work for you. You never did get along, and this will not become easier now that your Mom needs care. It could go on for many years. Personally I think it is time to look at placement for your Mom. That will be more difficult now that you have taken her into your home, so you may want to level with her regarding your thinking, and try to work it out. But set a time line for yourself and stick to it.
I'm an only child too. My parents are extremely abusive, even in their late 70's and 80's. My therapist told me to never let them live with me. That I owe them nothing and that if I want to help them, to find agencies to help them. They are far too toxic to live with or spend much time with. It's not healthy to be around that so strong boundaries and distance are mandatory. Good luck to you. If I were in your position I would look for assisted living or an apartment and then let insurance or aging agencies handle her. That's just me but I lived through such hell with them throughout my life, they will never live with me again. It would hurt me too much.
It's for the "Office of Services to the Aging." Unfortunately it won't let me access many of its very helpful-looking information pages, probably because I'm in the European Union and there are technical issues, but I am confident that you will be able to find out how to contact advisors for help.
The way to look at it is this: pretend you didn't exist. What would happen to your mother then? She makes too much for Medicaid, but not enough for high-end private pay facilities - but that is true of *thousands* of seniors, including those who don't have family to help. There will be a way.
It is not good for *either* of you if one person is forced to become 100% dependent on another person and the relationship between these two people was never all right.
On top of that, if your mother has dementia her need for specialist care and support is likely to outgrow anything you could provide for her even if it were good to start with.
Where was your mother living just three weeks ago? What happened to force this change?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
On Monday, call your local Area Agency on Aging and ask them who you’d speak with about opening a Miller or Qualified Income Trust. You will probably be directed to your Department of Human Resources. This trust will allow you to open an account or “trust” for Mom. However much she is over with her income that is disqualifying her from Medicaid will be deposited in the bank account you will open. In our case, it was $245 out of my husband’s check per month. Mom will then qualify for Medicaid and you can get her into a facility.
It's for the "Office of Services to the Aging." Unfortunately it won't let me access many of its very helpful-looking information pages, probably because I'm in the European Union and there are technical issues, but I am confident that you will be able to find out how to contact advisors for help.
The way to look at it is this: pretend you didn't exist. What would happen to your mother then? She makes too much for Medicaid, but not enough for high-end private pay facilities - but that is true of *thousands* of seniors, including those who don't have family to help. There will be a way.
It is not good for *either* of you if one person is forced to become 100% dependent on another person and the relationship between these two people was never all right.
On top of that, if your mother has dementia her need for specialist care and support is likely to outgrow anything you could provide for her even if it were good to start with.
Where was your mother living just three weeks ago? What happened to force this change?
She is lovely enough to share her knowledge here. I find her to be the guru on many subjects.