My brother financially exploited my 78 year old mother.

Cl:

Was she of sound mind when she told you to mind your own business? If so, do that. I understand sometimes our elderly parents' business is our business, so if the Visa was unsecured credit she can file for bankruptcy and keep her assets. If it is secured credit, your sister-in-law, as co-signatory, can be held liable (e.g., her wages might be garnished). And since your brother had the audacity to charge the weddings on the card, let him help your mother file the bankruptcy papers.

One last thing: get off the Xanax. It's an opiate that only serves to mask the problem rather than help you solve it. Plus the use of benzodiazepines (and drugs in general), tends to escalate and you might graduate to more potent chemicals. I'm a substance abuse counselor, so I know what I'm talking about.

In a nutshell, let them deal with it. I know you love your mom to death, but sometimes you have to allow people to take responsibility for their own actions.

Good luck, and let me know how it goes.

-- ED

Your mother will always be in denial about your sibs. I had a similar situation. My sib. did the same thing with my mom...opened a credit card acct., took a cash withdrawal, made a few payments, then skipped out on the rest.
Fortunately, I finally convinced her that it was her livelyhood she was sending out the door. With her permission, I now have PoA and take care of finances for her. I collaborate with her on financial planning, bill paying, etc. because I want her to always know where her finances stand. But this still does not guarantee that she would not return to her old behaviors. It constantly astounds me that the people who help the most are the ones who are treated the worst by family.
If your mom is in deep denial about this and allows the scam to continue there is really nothing you can do about it until she becomes "enlightened."
Ed offered some very sound advice. Maybe backing off and getting your own life back on track may make your mother see that you will not always be there to bat "clean up." Give your mother your sibs telephone numbers and tell them all that you are on vacation...then really GO on vacation or at least stay at home and let the others deal with it. If you are turning to drugs to cope, then it is time for serious reflection and major changes.

Stay strong,
Lilli

Fact of the matter is, and I don't mean to sound harsh but you really don't know how long your mom has been helping out your siblings. What our parents do with their money is their business, and they will be quick to tell you.

I found a check made out to my sister, after my mom got sick, and I asked her what it was for and she told me that she didn't have to tell me what she does with HER money. I have not asked her again.

Don't worry about it becuase it's too late now anyway. Let your siblings reap what they have sew'n. As long as you have all your ducks in order now, that's all that matters. And please don't fault your mom for that. A mom is always going to be a mom and really we wouldn't have it any other way.

Just keep on loving her.

I have POA and my sibs really resent me. To be honest, I am the only one who has never asked mom for a cent. My brother has "borrowed" several thousands of dollars over the years and has never repaid the money. My sister used to take mom grocery shopping but would also use mom's money to buy HER own groceries!! Mom is now in assisted living and I watch her money very closely so that she can self-pay for as long as possible. mY sibs think I am controlling mom's moneu b/c I want it all for my self!! They are so wrong! I spend many hours a week attending to mom's needs and wants, including paying her bills, getting phone service set up in her new residence, meeting with her social worker, etc. I now need help emptying her house and prepping it for sale---a HUGE undertaking--and my sibs have said they won't help me since I have the POA.
They think I'm up to something bad. Yet, they are vultures and will have a fit if I sell or give-away something they want for themselves. My feeling is "too bad for them" if they can't be bothered to help me. There has also been a lot of vulture-like behavior about mom's will, especially her diamond jewelry. I agree that being a care-taker is a thankless job but I love mom and just want her to be happy and comfortable. I don't care if all od her money is spent and leaves no inheritance.

My niece started care taking both my parents and ended up stealing over $14,000 from them, Some of it was a line of credit she got in my dad's name.
My eldest sister, who took guardianship of my dad and is handling their funds now, decided not to prosecute and the bank is making her pay $400 a month back, no interest. When my dad dies, it will be considered paid off.
The money is being taken out of my dad's retirement funds. My niece walked away free and clear. I know I can prosecute, but I am unsure what good that will do at this point. It won't get the money back and she has 3 little sones.
I do know I never want to talk with her again. I adopted her when she was 13. Her mother, (one of my other sister's) was on drugs quite heavy. I had hoped I caught her in time to instill some morals and values. I guess not.

Its tough to just let it go, but I am. I know that their money is in safe hands now and could kick myself for trusting my niece to deal with it properly. In the early stages of my parents not being able to deal with their own funds, it was up to me to decide what to do. I allowed my niece to take care of things because she moved in with them and was taking care of them.
After her, we let her brother take over and he ended up being abusive to them, so now its just the one sister and myself who takes care of everything.
It gets to be too much all the time. I am seeking other resources at this time. I am shocked as to how little help there is is out there.

We have a terrible situation in which our sib tricked our mom into signing a durable POA, making him the agent. He abused it terribly (criminally). Within a few years her entire savings was gone. Over 1/2 million dollars. We will be pushing for prosecution to the fullest extent of the law and will be getting a permanent restraining order. He left her with negative bank balances, wrecked credit, debts, a tax bill (because he emptied her retirement accounts and didn't pay any taxes for her) and lapsed long term care, life and medicare part B insurance policies. We hope he languishes in prison for what he's done.

Heatherj43, you should seek a permanent restraining order so your niece cannot be in contact with your parents again. If she comes around, she could be arrested and thrown in jail.

We all need to push our states to really tighten up on POA and laws pertaining to financial abuse of an elder. Anyone who takes advantage of their elders is lowlife scum and should be held fully accountable for it.

VERY LONG STORY:

I was taking care of my mother for the first two years after my father passed away, that started three years ago. When I got there mom and I decided it would be easier to put my retirement income into her account and pay our bills together (her idea), she also made me an authorized user on her credit cards so that I could buy dog food and pay the vet with no questions asked (my idea). We did our Christmas shopping together online because like mother I am also disabled which is the reason that out of five kids I was the one who went there and took care of her when she wasn't able to take care of herself, and my one of my older sisters who was there for about six months decided she couldn't stay any longer (she couldn't stand being with mother any longer then that).

I got there in August or September 2007, after having spinal fusion in June 2007, I was on very strong medications like Percocet, Fentenol and Soma. Honestly I don't know what was really going on most of the time I was there. I know I passed out at least once after mixing up my bedtime medications with my morning medications. Fortunately my daughter was there at the time, but who knows how many other times it happened when she wasn't.

Anyway, we did our gift shopping on line and used PayPal to process the payments. Somehow someone hacked the PayPal account and charged something like 15K to my mom's credit cards. When we found out I got them to drop over half of these charges as fraudulent, the rest I couldn't get them to budge on, and so we had to pay those. At the time my mother went over the charges with me and explained what had happened to my siblings, they started blaming me right off and she told them that we had already figured it out and that I was not at fault.

Then one day my daughter and son in law asked me if I wanted to go with them to visit my great Aunt who lived about 40 miles away from my mom, I asked her if she wanted to come, but she said no cause she didn't feel good, I told her I would stay home with her but she said no she wanted me to go see her aunt, I told her we would be gone for about 8 hours or so considering who we were going to see, I asked her if she was sure she didn't need me to stay there with her, she told me know that she was perfectly able to take care of herself for a day, so I went with them. When I tried calling mom after a couple of hours there was no answer so after a few more unanswered calls I told them we needed to go home, we got back to mom's about 5-6 hours later we walked into an empty house, there was no note. I called my sister's cell phone several times and finally around 9 pm she called to let me know she was at my sister's house because we had abandoned her when she was sick.

She stayed at my sister’s house for a week, leaving me to take care of the house and the dogs. I tried talking to her about it when she got home but every time I said anything my sister would jump in and say I was wrong. This same sister also told my daughter and her husband that they needed to start paying half the bills, even though the agreement my mother had made with them was that they could stay there without paying rent until they were back on their feet. I know this sounds odd but it is just the way my mother is, and she has done the same thing with all of her kids and grandkids when they needed her to. Anyway, They moved there from TX and he had been delayed in started his new job until only about two weeks before this took place. So they started looking for a place of their own, they got there in February and moved into their own place in April. I told my mother I would pay her back all the extra money it had cost us while they were there, as well as any money I had borrowed from her, with or without her consent during the time I was living there. My sister's each called her and borrowed between 5 and 7K each during this time.

After a year and a half, the strain of her care and dealing on a daily basis with my sister and my niece who moved there during that time, taking care of my nieces 12 year old son who was comming over to be watched before and after school and all day during the summer, and watching my 4 year old twin grandchildren began to take it’s toll on me and I started to have even more severe medical problems, I told mother that I was going to go back to TX for what at that time was suppose to be a few months. However, after being home for the first month or so my doctor told me it would be better if I found someone else to take care of my mother and I stayed home and took care of myself. So I called my mother and told her what the doctor had said and she told me it was fine she didn't need a babysitter, which considering the fact that she was blind was completely untrue. However, she had my sister there and her Aunt both of them about the same distance away; she also had my Daughter and my Niece within walking distance, who could get there quickly if she needed something right away. Then I found out my Niece whom I had worked very hard to find a place for had moved into my Mother’s house, had disconnected her computer so she could hook up her own, and was allowing my mother to do the dishes and the laundry and babysitting her son. So since my sister in Colorado was of no use, I called my other sister who was in another state to see if she could find out what was going on, since all I got was the run around when I had called. So she called them and then called me back and told me to stop trying to start a fight eveything was fine. Anyway, I had already made arrangements with one of my other Niece's who had wanted to move back to Colorado for a while, to go and stay with my Mother and take care of her, then I was told that I was being selfish, and that I blindsided everyone and forced someone else to take my place.

Now my sister's, my Nieces, and my brother are telling me how I stole money from my mother, ran up her credit cards, and then jumped ship and "Slinked" back to TX, shirking what was "MY RESPONSIBILITY" to take care of our Mother, while trying to force my sister, the one I had called for help, to quit her job and move there sooner then she had planned, because I was a thoughtless user. Did I mention I was there for a year and a half? Oh yeah and I am the youngest of the five kids in the family, and the only one who was dealing with any health problems.

Needless to say I don't speak to any of them anymore. The thing that has bothered me the most in all of this is that my mother acts like I didn't pick up and move there when she needed me. Like when something happened I didn't do my level best to take care of it with no help from my siblings, and yet I am being accused of stealing from her, even though she kept saying to me that she wanted to pay me to take care of her, and I kept telling her no.

I have started an account in mine and my mother’s names to save up money to repay the loan she made to me while I was there, and even though I am on a very small fixed income I put what I can into it every month. I am now trying to find a PT job to add to the money in that account because I want to get it all played back in the next year. I look forward to being able to have a lawyer send papers to her showing the account, and making sure that my siblings cannot touch it even after her eventual death. I want to make sure that only the amount I borrowed is made available to them not the entire amount in the account. And I want to make sure that if they can't provide proof that they have made payment to her for the amounts of their loans, that they get that much less of the amount of her estate. Unless she has changed her will and I am sure they will have made sure she does I am still the executor. And if they got her to change it I will make sure they have to hire a lawyer to probate the will. I was very naive to think that they wouldn't do what they have done, and they would have to be even more so to think that I learned my lesson.

Sorry; I meant to say they would have to be very naive to think that I hadn't learned mine.

My sis and I have decided not to have my niece arrested, nor put in a restraining order, as it is my parents granddaughter however, both parents now have guardians and all monies cannot be gotten by anybody.
I cannot believe how many of the grandkids have gotten stuff from them. My own daughter took my mom's car. My nephew spent a lot of their money and then the niece thing...$14,000, and my sis says its really more than that.
H*ll, my exhusband even got an old printing press from my dad's basement and scrapped it for $6,000 without any of us knowing. He says everyone knew, when I ask just who, he says my mom amd dad...duh...asshole...and my neice and nephew, who also stole from them, so none of us knew. He acted all indignant and said, "are you accusing me of stealing from them" and I said "yes"! He has been good to my parents thru the years, they are neighbors, but that is stealing! Is he going to put up the bucks to bury them???No he isn't!!
They all piss me off. Now my sis and I are scrimping to save burial money.

I am sorry for this situation, however, she refused to include you in her finances and this is her problem to solve. It is your brother's problem, walk away. I know that is hard but sometimes we have to save ourselves.

this really hit home with me- my dad died in 1998 in a car accident- my mom lived and received a lot of money. During this time, we transferred her house into my name.
in 2004 she had a stroke, so we moved her into my home, and i took over finances. i was shocked as i went through the checkbook. i had also known that she helped one of her grandsons with a "deposit" on the house he and his gf were buying. it was now that i found out that they had the loan in her name. creditors started calling... but the final straw was a few months ago when we were gone one evening, and the sherriff came to the house, and served her papers of forclosure. she was ready to go to court and let them take what she has so they can keep the house- she was pretty angry with me when i said no. i do not understand the thinking process behind this whole thing. they don't even come visit her! well, now the time has come to put her in assited living. we warned them a long time ago to get the house out of her name- so when start this process- i'm curious what is going to happen. if anyone knows- please share!
regardless- time teaches all things to any man- but we have not the luxury of eternity. so take notes, learn the lesson so it's not repeated and go on with life. my kids- will be independent- it will not always be easy to tell them no- but the lesson they learn will be priceless.

To the woman on Xanax: you probably already know this, but no one should tell you to stop taking psychiatric medication except your doctor. I

Sorry you are stressed out. I understand that the caregiving can be hard and if your siblings or family members are financially exploiting (or you feel they are) an aging parent, that is even more stressful.

grandchildren are the worst to our elderly. the scheme our elderly parents and continue to scheme thinking that they will never be caught in the act of illegal actions towards and elderly grandparent.

I can't believe how every one of these stories has a situation which applies to my current family situation. My father-in-law who was ill with Alzheimers died a few weeks ago and that's when the can of worms was opened. It appears my husband's sister had been taking money from his mother and dad for at least 2 years totaling around $25,000. During this time, the sister also transferred cash balances from her credit card to their credit card, which at one time had over a $13,000 balance, she paid off an RV loan for her daughter with part of the mom and dad’s IRA, and she transferred money from their checking account to hers. I’m sure it doesn’t stop there. We have only gone back two years. The sad thing is, I tried to share this information with the bank and they turned their back on me. My husband knows what’s going on but wants to remain anonymous. So do I, for sake of my marriage. If I had it my way, I would go to the DA tomorrow. The good thing is, my husband does have POA now and the Will was changed. I regret he didn’t become his mom’s conservator or co-trustee because we are fearful his sister will strike again. She has a past arrest record for these kinds of shenanigans. We did make an anonymous call contact APS alerting them of suspicious financial elder abuse. HELP!!!!!

Heatherj43: You sound like a wonderful person, both you and your sister. I'm sorry your ex and the younger generation have behaved so badly. I do agree that it's best to just close the door, chalk it up to an education and walk away. As Madge1 said, sometimes we just have to save ourselves. God Bless you and your sis. Good luck. Lots of hugs to you.

How dare many of you self righteous people for criticizing you siblings especially if there taking care of your parent. Why you aren’t taking care of you elderly parent, I’ll tell you y because you don’t want to be unconvinced, it’s a big job! It not easy when you’re doing it all work you’re self and all you have is critics that seem to only care about the parent’s money!, And that all they seem to care about. Many times a care taker will need money for things and some times just out of graduated the elderly person wants to give that take taker money. I personally know of a case where the elderly person gave over million dollars to the care taker (although extreme), only to have the family look to put that person in jail, these siblings rarely when to help or visit the parent so the parent build a strong bond with that care taker. We need to go back to a time when the family takes reasonability for taking care of there parent as a hole. Not leaving it up to one individual to do all the work. Just remember how much it cost to take care of a needy person 24/7 and you just might owe them money!. God forbid if they get a little extra!

I wish more of your could take the time to speak in complete sentences. You want advise, but can't take the time to explain your circumstances or responses in a manner that makes sense. Take a breath and relax. Talk about your situation or response in a way that people can understand.

I don't really know if I am responding correctly, because I am a bit confused by all that has been said, but I'll take a shot at it. Number (1) Anyone who it taking full time care of a parent should be given a little slack. It sucks the life out of you and if you use some of their money to pay for groceries, I don't think that is a evil thing. Number (2) If you are the caretaker of your parent and you are using their funds to pay for your house payment, your child's wedding, or anything major, then you are taking advantage of them. That's a no brainier. In fact, my guess would be that if you are using your parent(s) to that extent, you are probably not looking out for their welfare.

Joey12, I'm not sure what your point is. Do you think it is ok to take large sums from your parent(s) and then be offended when a sibling objects? It's one thing to take care of a parent and another to take advantage. If you want to live off of them and in return you are willing to give them good care, then get it in writing and make it clear to everyone that all is above board. If someone objects then it's up to the parent (hopefully in their right mind) to tell others to butt out.

My brother-in-law moved in with my MIL after her husband died. All of us helped her get her home sold and moved her into town close to everyone. She moved into a nice home which was free and clear. Her and my BIL had a close relationship and loved to do many of the same things. He was single and gay, although we all realized that, he never acknowledged it until later in life. His lifestyle was not a problem to any of us, my MIL included. What was a problem was that neither of them had the least bit of common sense when it came to managing money. The rest of us were married and with families and had always felt that the inheritance should go to Tom who was living with her. He never could take care of himself and we had all made our way in life, so if he got the house and had a free and clear roof over his head, then that was fine with us.

Unfortunately, they mortgaged the house to the hilt. Tom bought a new truck, they took a couple of trips and blew the rest at Costco on God only knows what. Then Tom found the love of his life and moved out during the foreclosure. My MIL was left with nothing and had to move to a one room assisted living place. She also lived with us for a while due to her diabetes and the nerve damage caused to her legs and feet which made it difficult, if not impossible, for her to walk. Lot's of money went to those Costco chocolate muffins.

In the end, you can't help people who don't have the sense to come in out of the rain and you can be sure that anyone who is taking big chunks of money will continue to do so until there is nothing left. Then they will leave.

rocknhardspot1,

You are in a tuff situation, but you as well as your husband your are aiding and covering for a criminal by not reporting her for breaking the law. If you don't go to the DA, then the DA may come to you and wanting to keep peace in the family will not be seen as a valid excuse for staying quite.

Wow--in a sick way it is comforting to know other people go through this kind of stuff. I have a 22 year old niece in Ohio addicted to pain meds (street purchased) and she constantly nickel-dimes my father. My parents allowed her and her high school drop out husband to move in with them. They and their 2 small boys live there over a year completely free. When my dad had to go to the hospital for a month due to low sodium (which caused him to appear to have Alzheimers) my niece got into his closet that he always kept locked, took his coin collection and pawned it. She tried to pawn a valuable gun, but we assume they would not take it. So when my dad got out of the hospital and was well, that's what he got to come home to. I feel helpless because I live out of state. My parents are not educated people and borderline simple, however they have big hearts. They have enabled my niece to be a jerk for years. If anyone has a suggestion as to how I could get her to leave them alone, I would appreciate it. My two sisters did get PoA, but my dad still cashes his checks and has money on him.

Is she, her drop out husband and 2 children still living there? Do you sisters and/or other family members live in the area?

Beckinvegas: I asked a question and you didn't respond, so I will give you an answer based on my limited understanding of the situation.

My suggestion: Get a meeting set up with your siblings and get your butt to Ohio. Get a restraining order on your niece and her family. Talk to your father and explain that the niece needs medical intervention and as long as he supports her she will just continue to buy drugs. Bad for her, bad for her children. He's probably not so simple that he can't understand that.

If she is still living with your dad, call Adult Protective Services and insist that they intervene. It would be best if you are your siblings are present and can make the niece see that this s**t is for real.

A united front is best to ward off evil spirits. Your father needs his children to keep him safe.

Maybe you have done all of this in the past. Just giving my opinion based on a limited amount of info. Cattails.

I recently brought my parents here from another state, they are in their 80's. A brother in the state I moved them from took advantage of them and stole all of their valuables and, with a POA, got into their accounts. Can someone tell me if there is a state agency that can, without charge, prosecute my brother in hopes of recovering the money he made from selling the valuables?

My brother is an accountant and was POA and later executor of mom's estate. His former brother in law is the estate attorney. They both told me that the estate was going through probate in Pa. I was not sent any paperwork. After 111/2 months, I checked and found out that I had a trust (ITF) and a POD account. This account did not go through probate. My brother closed three accounts after mom's death and took my trust money. I had to hire an attorney. The bank paid me most of my trust money because they had given him my money in error. However, there is still much more money missing. What do I do now? Mom told me about CDs but there aren't any. He has taken her money for 5 years. Now what should I do?

i have a son and his father parents are being exploid exspesially his mother its a pretty long story dont even know where to start my son father and his parents are being brainwashed manipulated and even turned against me and my son because of my sons fathers brother and his girlfriend his brother and girlfriend steel money withhold mail steel their car keys i mostly feel bad for my son granmother she has a mental disablity and is very blinded by whats going on she doesnt get proper food nutricion health care or clothing she needs shes an innocent victim but doesnt realize cause she to is brainwashed and manipulated who cn i talked to about this the sister inlaw and i dont get along she has put the whole family and some friends against me cause she knows i know what shes doing this is driving me crazy and she even withheld mail from my sons granmother she has even mad my sons sick and caused my sons injuries please help

I think you need a lawyer who specializes in elder abuse.

I have a story to and really need some help with it.

My mother in law passed and know before she passed I was there helping take care of her and her husband, they had nurses that came in and done there thing. Well I would have to take her husband to his Dr visits and learnt alot that was going on. when my MIL was sick it was kept from my husband heck the nurses that came in didn't even know he was her son thanks to his sister. Then we was finally told she was dieing. How can ur sister keep that from you? Then when she passed, I wasn't aloud to take him to the dr any more she took over, where not told about anything the house is a big pig sty and now she gets paid from someone to take care of him. She don't tell us when he has appointments and when we ask how they have went she said there's no problems, but we found out he's go Demetra but where not suppose to know. She's on the checking account and credit cards. one i seen the other day accidently said 5,678.32, there's no way he has charged this. She has xbox,ipad,also on the cell phone bill there's 4 phones on the bill. We don't know if she has poa or what. she gets a check from VA for 1000.00 for taking care of him. She has always lived off of welfare maybe in all these yrs she might have had 6 jobs. My poor husband just don't know what to do. Can someone please help us before he looses everything he has. We don't know what rights he has as a son.

Boy, Jesus had siblings wonder if they all fought this way? I have been through alot of things that were mentioned in the stories up above......MY SISTERS HATE ME, but no matter I still love them and would go to them if they ever call needing me...and believe me I have helped them and their kids through the years. But when I went through my mant trials and worries, they didn,t call or reach out to ever help me. But I don,t have to worry about any of
this, for I have a HEAVENLY FATHER THAT LOVES ME AND PROMISES A BEAUTIFUL LIFE IN HEAVEN FOR ALL WHO EXCEPT HIM AS TOLD OF IN THE BIBLE. I believe the Bible with all my heart....YES JESUS LOVES ME!
How can we not forgive others, when Jesus gave His life foe us?

Flower- I believe in forgiveness too... but even Jesus got angry occasionally and cleaned house. Remember how he reacted to the money lenders in the temple? Well, sometimes you just need to react to the circumstances and not let people get away with things you know are wrong.

I've been reading these posts because I am currently dealing with the same sort of problem. My mom was living with me and my husband last year when she was diagnosed with 'mild dementia'. She and I discussed this and we decided the best course of action would be to put the bulk of her assets into a trust with me as the trustee.

I offered my siblings each a copy of the trust and neither wanted one.

A few months later my sister starts telling my mom how I had "stolen" her money and that how as POA I was taking everything she had. I sent sister and brother all the financial info I had to prove I had not taken out any money that was not for mothers use, and had receipts to prove it.

Long about Christmas my sister picks up my mom for a "two week visit" at my aunts. After the visit instead of bringing her back to our home, she took her to hers. She cut off contact,, saying that mother was having heart problems and that I upset her since I had "stolen all of her money". I continued to try to prove to my sister that the money was still where it was supposed to be. Even sent $10,000 to mother that sis said was needed.

So, contact was limited till April when I got word I was being sued for a half million dollars. Mothers entire fortune is worth less than half that, by the way. I called and offered to put everything back in mothers name if she felt that strongly about it, and was in the process of moving the money in the brokerage account back to her name when the broker got word that he, too was being sued for a half million dollars. Not only did suit get filed against me and against her broker, the brokerage firm, the bank where the trust account was held, and the two lawyers who set up the trust. So, naturally, everything got frozen.

I offered to transfer everything back out of the trust twice, but both times my offers were refused. Finally, about a month ago I called my sisters house to give my mother my new phone number and was told by my sister that she had moved to assisted living, but didn't want me to have her phone number or know where she was.

I hunted around till I found her. She was extremely happy to hear from me, and when I asked her if it was OK to give her number to my brother she cried because my sister had told her he was dead! My sister had taken her off of her dementia medications. Mother could not dial her own phone, could not work the tv remote or make coffee. The folks at assisted living told me she wasn't doing well there at all.

The next weekend we brought her a picture phone that we thought she would be able to work. Discovered the phone tap. Also discovered the phone numbers she had didn't work. Sister had taken her address book and left only bogus numbers. Also, since she had found out about our previous visit, Sister had put a recording device (taped securely) to my mothers phone. Sister had also contracted with an agency to provide 24 hour care for mother at a cost of over $500 a day. Mother was miserable, as anyone would be. She had a stranger sleeping in a bed right next to her every night, talking baby talk to her and trying to dress her like a child.

Anyway, the next weekend my husband and I just drove up there and picked her up. She did well at our house for a week, so we notified the assisted living place that she was moving out and coming to live with us.

So.. the week mother was with us, dear sis used her POA to sell mother's car, to empty both bank accounts and to take other personal property from a house mother owns (but is in the trust). She left her with a credit card bill for $380 and $290 in the bank. She went through $33,000 cash in 7 months plus what she got for the car. We found the car on a lot nearby with a pricetag of $15,999.

So, while sis was keeping me distracted with the lawsuit she was taking everything she could get her hands on.

Discover card does not allow POAs to charge on their cards, so they are pursuing credit card fraud charges against sister. We talked to the police about the car and they helped us find it, but seem to think it isn't a criminal matter. When we revoked POA at the lawyer who filed the suit (who now, most likely regrets not checking out sisters story!) we gave her a list of things we wanted, plus requested an accounting of where all of mothers money went. That was two weeks ago.. no response. Then a few days ago my lawyer sent her a sternly worded letter saying the same thing. So far, no response.

Next step is to go to adult protective services and see what they can do about elder financial abuse. We can make a case for emotional ab use as well, but mother is in a good place now and is very happy. We have a lady who comes in and "stays' with mother during the day while I work. I put 'stays' in quotes because they hardly ever stay home. Those two go out to lunch and to second hand stores and all kinds of fun stuff during the day. Hubby drives.

I took care of my parents for 17 years. Sisters took over and it started out to be World war 3. All the time I cared for my parents there was never any problems.
And now there has been nothing but bullsh___- all the time. Our Mom is gone now. Dad just sits and crys. They put him in a ssisant living. He has a beautiful home, but they closed it up. I offered to keep him there, but was told no way. Dad won't last much longer God will take him home. He had someone
to call me and I went an took him out to my fishing cabin, no one knows where it
is, we were gone for 2 weeks. We fished , went on walks and enjoyed nature.
When I brought him back, they thought I had brought them someone else. Of course Dad didn't want to go back. The sisters tried to cause trouble, but they had no leg to stand on. By the way 1 week later Dad got a taxi and went to his own home. He had a neighbor call me to tell me he was there. I went over. Of course all he-- broke out over this. I am so tired of it all. But I will stand up for DAd AS LONG AS I CAN. Good for u in standing up for your Mother.

My sister and her boyfriend (a part-time town police officer) robbed my mother blind.
My mother told me and one of my other sisters what was going on, but refused to press charges on either of them. She was embaressed, with this being a small town and didn't want neighbors to know that her daughter was capable of doing this.
Our mother would no longer take vacations because she said she was afraid those two would steal from her house when she was gone. It was a terrible situation. But, unless our mother pressed charges, our hands were tied. We tried to get our mother to move back to our State, but she didn't want to leave because our father was buried there. And because she was in her right mind, we were told by a lawyer there was nothing we could do unless she agreed.
We did confront the two crooks and told them to hand in their house keys, but when we went home, our sister went crying to our mother and got her key back. After that meeting, it that just made them "kick into high gear", and even more things went missing.
(These two and our mother lived two States away), we tried getting that sister's name off the bank accounts and as soon as we went home, she took our mother back to the bank and switched everything back. They also took her to get her Will changed as well.
It really was horrible. Now that our mother has passed (under very suspicious circumstances, a month after the Will change) the rest of the family has cut off any communications with those two. We can not understand how a daughter could do something like that to her own mother?