My mother is one of the most miserable humans on Earth, and has been for years. Whenever anyone has asked her "How are you doing?", for as far back in my memory as I can reach, I can never remember her saying "I'm fine". Now she's smoked herself to death. She has COPD, CHF, steroid-induced diabetes, a colostomy, osteoporosis, bone spurs in her neck, neuropathy in her limbs, brittle skin that tears at the drop of a hat...the list seems endless. She refuses to get out of bed to try to exercise to keep up any strength, and wants me to do more and more and more for her.
She's in the hospital right now because of a fall last week. She says her knees gave out.
I don't think it's so horrible that I just want this woman to finally have some peace, and yes, honestly, for the rest of us around her to have some as well. The discord and disharmony this narcissist spreads with her always ALWAYS negative attitude takes a toll. She will never change, and her health will only continue to go downhill.
I realize that I don't get to make the decision of when she goes, but I will admit that I do want her to. I think it's the only way she'll finally be "fine".
I know that my problems with my husband will lessen once the trips (18 more) down for the hyperbaric chamber will be finished. The best doctors are 2 counties away which is a pain but I guess they are worth it. He didn't have to use a wheelchair when he did & could have used a walker/cane if needed. I just need to find time for me for a change & I guess that is what I will need to do.
You never did anything to bring this unhappiness on you, but you did marry a man who was older than you and he is now experiencing age and possibly life style related illness.
Can you afford to get in home help? Is there anyone, children, friends, relatives, to help with the travel and medical appointments. Can he be in respite care for a weekend and give you a break? Is there a caregivers support group you can join, a place to listen to others and share your situation?
I hope the best for you and your husband. You have had a difficult 6 years and I hope you find some peace. Cattails.
jrcat, 32 years is a very long time to be married and I would try to look at the good times of your marriage that you two had and try not let all this illness bring you down. You are going through a lot with your husband illnesses and only the man above knows when their time is to go upstairs and I'm not sure why he would allow someone to go through such ordeal. Of course, he went through a lot for us too. All we can do is pray and tell him we can only handle so much. Is their anyone else or can you afford Respite Care for your husband in order to get some sort of break. Any family members that can take him back-n-forth at least to the doctor? I hope you are able to get some rest and peace of mind as well for everyone else on this site.
Your MIL is so fortunate to be in your care. She is blessed to have someone like you who really tries to understand where she is coming from and what you can do to make her feel safe. It will be a long road for you and we will all be here to support you.
Love and Hugs, Cattails.
wanting her to die peacefully and knowing how devastated I will be when that happens. The thing with Alz. is that the patient just keeps going downhill for so long and getting worse and it goes on and on. Each day I wonder if I can do it another day. So far I'm doing it.
Many hugs and good wishes. We all understand completely.
Stormy, I would think if he keeps coughing consistantly that is stomach is going to get very sore. Is there anything is dr. can prescribe for him that would help and it might help give you a peace to your ears? I wish I could help you two but all I can do is say a prayer or two. I hope y'all get some peace.
When will it ever end? I feel like every time he coughs i have to go and walk around there and check on him. It drives me crazy. I just want him to go to sleep and stay that way til i leave. He is such a burden to me and my sister. I dread so much coming over here. He is coughing gotta go again. hugs stormyyyy
Most days I live with feelings of hopeless resignation.
I had hoped for some time to enjoy my own life again
But she may very well out live me.
There, I said it.
but I am so ready for her to go, somewhere other than at home where I am the only caregiver. I will be devastated when she dies yet I feel like I cannot go on another day caring for her. Alzheimer's is the worst kind of hell, and some of you are dealing with that and other serious health issues. How do we caregivers keep going without taking our own lives?