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I understand all too well. I share the same story as freqflyer. My sister and I are praying for a quick end and peace for our Mom who is 101, and in the process of dying. She is about 75 pounds, agitated, confused, helpless, dementia really bad etc. She was actually living in AL until Nov when she fell due to weakness from not eating and not using the walker. She was even pretty lucid in NH until last month, but agitated and confuse and kept getting up and falling until she fractured her pelvis. For a month she has been sedated with morphine and tranquilizers and still she fights on, eating just enough to stay alive.
We are sad to be losing her, but hoping it will be quick for her sake (and ours) At her age, we had hoped one days she would go peacefully to sleep, but that was not to be. Its been a struggle of emotions for all of us, watching the suffering. It will be a relief for her to join my Dad, and a relief for us as well because there is nothing we can do to help her. She is so deaf we can't even communicate and she can no longer read. We hope they keep her sedated enough so she is not frightened.
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Amy, I understand exactly what you are going through but by the grace of God my mom was spared such an ordeal. My mother there had dementia and in Jan it was discovered that she had a bleeding condition that the dr said that the next fall would most certainly be her last. Mom fell trying to go the bathroom in the hospital. The nurse even told me that 3 x during the night she caught my mom trying to get out of bed because she had to go to the bathroom, the 4th time the nurse found mom on the floor. Mom had hit her head and hip causing bruises that never stopped bleeding under the skin. Because of her bleeding disorder mom literally bled to death back at her ALF. She was on moraphine to help her fight the struggle to oxygenate her blood. 14 hours of having moraphine mom passed away.
Maybe you should contact hospice to help you with the decisions that you need the make.
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AmyGrace, my Mom fought so hard though she kept telling me for nearly 2 years that she didn't want to live anymore. Several falls, operations, time spent in nursing homes for rehab, then bedridden for many months with all kinds of ailments. It was so hard on me to watch this. Then I was surprised and relieved at the end when she did die that it was actually peaceful for her. She began refusing food in the days before, then liquids. Hospice gave her morphine and I began to give her small amounts as needed but not too much. This relaxed Mom and she slept peacefully most of the time until she quietly passed during a nap. I was so relieved that there was no pain and no thrashing about like she would get with delirium from UTIs and antibiotics before. Hospice was a God send to us in the months before Mom passed on. I guess even though many people fight so hard and for so long, it can still be peaceful at the end and I hope your Mom goes peacefully as well.
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