Hi all, I have no idea what to do and was hoping to get advice/answers here. My grandmother was diagnosed with some cognitive impairment about 2 years ago which she needed to take medications for. She adamantly refused the medication and refused to go into an assisted living facility, and because at the time she was still able to make her own decisions, we respected it and she continued living with my parents. The problem however has gotten much worse after my father passed away last month (her son). After his passing, she has been increasingly more paranoid, and continued to accuse my mom of things, from stealing her things to very scary things like abuse. I just don't know what to do, or how to help my mom. We made another appointment for the doctor to hopefully show that she's unable to make her own medical decisions anymore so we can get her into a home. Unfortunately the appointment isn't until next month, and with her increasing episodes, I'm just concerned she may either hurt herself while my mom is at work, or call the police on my mom even though my mom has done nothing wrong. Grandma's only blood relative (brother) here is in another state, and has refused to take her. Her other relatives are in another country, and because of the pandemic traveling there isn't an option at this time. What do we do? I feel so bad for my mom, who had to take care of her bedridden husband for the last few months of his life and now she's left to take care of her mother-in-law who has never really liked her.
Isthis's suggestion is a good one. In this scenireo, if Mom refuses to take grandmom home, the State will take over grandmoms care. This is so sad but Mom and you need to support yourselves.
ITRR, is referring to Social Workers or those who discharge. She is not talking about nurses who are caring for patients. I have dealt with such people. And they do try to get family members to take on the care when they can't. They say you can get help but that is very hard. My cousin just went thru this. The hospital was no help. I suggested Office of Aging and they helped. Poor guy has to work to support him and Mom. His Mom needs 24/7 care.
Once she is taken to the hospital for a psych evaluation your mom must tell the social worker that grandma CAN NOT SAFELY COME BACK TO HER HOUSE, UNSAFE DISCHARGE.
This will get the wheels turning for grandma to be placed in a facility that can provide her with the care she needs.
Tell your mom to repeat the above no matter what is said to her. Hospital workers will guilt you, shame you, threaten you and many other scuzzy behaviors to get you to take the patient off their hands.
Drill it with your mom if she has a hard time saying no.
You are a good daughter and granddaughter to help your mom get out from this awful situation and getting grandma the care she needs. They are blessed to have you.
I am so sorry for your loss. May God grant you grieving mercies and strength during this difficult time. Great big warm hug!
This will get the wheels turning for grandma to be placed in a facility that can provide her with the care she needs.
Tell your mom to repeat the above no matter what is said to her. Hospital workers will guilt you, shame you, threaten you and many other scuzzy behaviors to get you to take the patient off their hands.'
Wow, what a low opinion you have of hospital workers! I'm glad I risk my life every day working with often highly contagious patients with serious illnesses and receive such gratitude from the mass public.
Doing the ER dump doesn't necessarily mean that the hospital will 'take the patient off the family's hands'. If she's found to be mentally competent then they will just discharge her home. She still has rights and can't be forced into a SNF if she still has decision making capacity.