For those who became estranged from their siblings because of lack of help for parents, how is your relationship now?

I don’t anticipate ever reviving my relationship with my sibs. You find out how people really are when the chips are down

I read through quite a few responses before I decided to respond.  I think it is one thing to have a sibling who lives across the country and logistically can't help, but it is certainly another when the sibling lives next door to you, makes more money than you and works out of his home and has the ability to make his own schedule and chooses not to help. Oh, and I forgot the best part...he is an RN.   After my mom was diagnosed, she was still lived in her own home.  That meant the grass needed cut, the bills needed paid, meds needed refilled, put in a dispenser and calls made twice a day to tell her to take them.  Grocery shopping needed done.  She needed taken everywhere...doctor, dentist, grocery, etc.  I was working full time, had a kid at home and my own acre of grass, and grocery, etc...  I was killing myself trying to manage her life.  My brother did NOTHING.  I kept calling him and saying we need to divvy up these responsibilities until we can figure out what to do with her.  I was visiting assisted living facilities, trying to sell her car, getting crazy phone calls from her at my job telling me she let a strange man into the house and he gave her a pill to take...just crazy nonsense.  When I approached my brother to say lets work out a schedule ...I suggested I take one week and he take the other... something like that.  He literally WENT OFF THE RAILS and said he didn't have to do sh*t.  Then the personal attack started...the name calling and what not.  I hung up on him and we didn't speak for 3 years.  He is a self absorbed narcissist who doesn't do anything that doesn't some how benefit him.  During that three years, I had to put my moms home on the market, put her car on the market, leave my job everytime there was a showing to clean her house and take her out of the home during the showing.  Find an assisted living facility, buy her new furnishings that would fit in the efficiency apartment, sell all of her old furnishings, clean out her house once it sold, meet with a lawyer to get POA.  etc.etc.etc.  Once placed in AL, I manager her care, bills, laundry and personal items.  Much more doable.  I WILL NEVER forgive my brother for his actions and the lack of assistance he gave our mother.  After three years of silence, we do speak and he does come over for holiday meals and what not but it is not the same.  I choose not to focus on it because the anger and bitterness will eat you alive and it's not hurting him, it is hurting me.  So I choose not to think about it, but deep down there is a real dislike for him.  I got to see the real him.

Probably depends also on what the relationship was between the siblings before the caretaking time. For example, I silently endured being treated horribly my whole life by my siblings. When I was helping my mother they actually got even meaner, which woke me to what I'd put up with for too long. I will never again subject myself to their horrible treatment of me. But I come from a highly dysfunctional family with a narcissistic mother where I was the scapegoat and the siblings who manipulated money out of her and didn't life a finger to help her were her golden children. If they'd been decent people I might have forgiven them - as I did for too many years before I finally accepted that they are selfish psychopaths. So in a way, it was a "blessing" to finally learn that I deserve to not be treated badly.

First I just want to thank this site. My dad recently passed, many times I came to this site for help, even just to read, to find many of us were in the same position going through the same things helped to feel not so alone, it's been an emotional roller coaster ride for me, but one I've grown and learned so much from, I grew closer to my dad, and grew to understand him better over the years. It has made me a much stronger person. I'll miss my dad forever.

As for sibling issues, I have one who did nothing to help with our dad. My brother couldn't even mow our dads property for him without losing his temper, that lasted about a month, and yet he had no problem coming around looking for money, he showed up about six months after dad moved in with me looking for money, he hung around for six months more trying to find out what money dad had and where it was, trying to brow beat him, dad would just set there and look at him, I'd walk in and he'd stop. Turned out he'd been living off our parents for years, mom passed, and he kept coming at dad for money, dad got tired of it. I didn't know, my parents were proud and were good at sweeping things under the rug, turns out a lot of things my sibling did got swept under the rug. My parents knew he had problems, and they always took care of him like parents do. Then when the sibling found out he couldn't brow beat our dad into giving him money anymore, and I was not going to tolerate his abusive behavior on my property, he tried to sue me, he even got in my face and told me whatever dad owned was his, I didn't budge I literally stared him down, he was so use to intimidating people, but it doesn't work when it's your sibling who knows you better than anyone and I'd already been through hell and back after losing our mom and my husband, a sick adult child, and one just graduated from high school, need I say more. In time and after years of his efforts to slander me as well, he ruined his own reputation and alienated himself from everyone our parents ever knew, family, neighbors and friends, neighbors actually watched him slowly and methodically vandalize our dads house, by going to it and leaving the door open on purpose in the Fall/Winter, baiting raccoons into the house with fast food trash hidden in a large open trash bag in the house near the door hidden behind packing boxes that were stacked, he also slashed tires on vehicles that were in the garage, not enough to completely ruin them, but enough it was noted damage. Can't press charges just because someone left a door open who happens to have a key, dad's neighbors would watch and go over and shut the door when he left, it was all they could do.

That's my sibling. I welcomed everyone to come see dad whenever they wanted, all his neighbors, all of what was left of our family, extended family and we went out all the time. So every lie my sibling would tell, just made it worse for him, it also didn't take long for anyone in speaking to him to see something wasn't right. At our dads service, he stood alone, not one person would talk to him or sit with him, he literally stood alone on the opposite side of the room at visitation and the funeral service, no one would get near him. He needs counseling and probably medication to help him, but he won't seek help for himself, thinks it's everybody else. I truly think he's a sociopath. I hurt for what my parents dealt with that I never knew about or understood growing up, I have no doubt now after these years of taking care of dad, that there was a lot swept under the rug in regard to my siblings problems that would shock me. But my parents are at peace now, they'd understand why I have no intentions of having my sibling around my kids and grandkids, we need a happy healthy family now, to move on, and his life is what it is, and we'll have no part of it. Thank you all for letting us all have our long vents on this site and to those still caregiving, hugs to all.

Since my mom was diagnosed with Dementia this past June, the tension between my oldest brother and myself isn't good. She is in a facility and he doesn't go and visit her that often like he did when she was living in her house. He didn't even visit her in her apartment which was a minute away from where he and his wife lived.
His wife is a major factor with how he is relating to me. She has attacked me verbally via FB and e-mail. She is making it hard to even have more of a relationship with him.
I have another brother but he lives in Ohio. Has been up here twice since she has moved into the memory care facility.
Mom is 88 and now is having some heart issues. Not major.
It hurts for the lack of communication. But life goes on. Wish I had a sister that I could confide in. But I do have my husband's family that treats me like family more than my own family does.
Just be thankful that he is communication with his sister. Once his brother is ready to connect with him, he will. I have to remember that for myself.

In my first session with a therapist, she asked about my siblings. I have 3 brothers - two are over 1000 miles away and one lived next door to Mom. The two that live the farthest see my Mom more than the one who lived next door. Now that she's in an SNF, he never sees her and she's still only 5 miles away. When I started to say this to the therapist, she immediately said, "Let me guess - he's the "baby", the pampered one, the one who feels entitled but does the least to help out." Wow - she hit that nail on the head after only two sentences from me! Then she said every family seems to have one of those. So - where does that leave those who are doing the heavy lifting? I think we let it go so we don't become bitter and in our hearts know that we have done what we can to make the lives of our loved ones the best they can be during their final years. When my Mom is gone, I will have the memory of her face lighting up when she sees me and hearing her voice saying "thank you so much for coming". I can't change my brother, I can only change my reaction to him. Maybe your husband doesn't want a confrontation so he'd rather avoid his brother. I get that! Perhaps in time that will change but it's best to let him get there on his own if and when he's ready.

Wow. I love my brother unconditionally could it's scary to read these responses - and I can see how families break up. I am in my 30's and caring for my 66 year old mother with Vascular Dementia/Alzheimer's Disease - she is not married, nor in a relationship and has been divorced from my Father for nearly 30 years. Everything has fallen on my shoulders as it always did: from doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, dentists, lawyers to just making sure she is not lonely. My older brother lives across the country and quite honestly, cannot afford to move home to NY to help his mother (he hates to work and settles for "jobs" not an actual career in which he would make more $ and be a responsible adult.) However, his play time is up... I am running on empty as I work and have a chronic health issue that is definitely worsening with stress (the only short term remedy to that is another surgery), I have a very demanding career and my own family to take care of. I have made it very clear, under no uncertain terms that my brother move home to help. We need him, it's that simple. I will not accept any less and I am hurt, angry and resentful. My mother raised us on her own (mostly), working two jobs at times and always took care of everyone. Now it's his turn to help her. He came home (after I begged him for months), and saw my mother's condition for himself - he didn't believe she had Dementia. Once he finally saw for himself, I let him know he needs to move home. After many conversations, he finally said he'd move home in a year after he's out of his lease...he shares a rental with a friend so that's BS. Tell your friend your mother is very sick and you need to go home to help her. There are no legal ramifications and if he gave his friend some time to find a new roommate or move there should be no issues. In short, he is making excuses up and buying time. That's all.
He can move home to NY and live with my mother. Since he hates to work, there wouldn't be much financial burden. When I mentioned this to him, he tells angrily replies, "so you want me to move home and live with mom and take care of her all of the time?!" Ummm...no As%&*%$e! I will help out just as I am now.

we never figured out why the sun rose and set around our brother, he was the oldest, maybe? Only son? He was hardly there when we needed him to help out with our parents. It was so much worse with our mother. So undependable. He lived with our parents for a long time. Even after our dad passed away. In which, he didn’t show to help with the arrangements or even show up at the funeral. My sister and I did the best we could. With me living out of town and having to work, my sister did a lot..but she has health issues. When mothers health declined drastically (and I promised her I never would) my sister and I decided on the nursing home. There are so many details to this story..I still feel guilt but mother actually became a social butterfly and even though she continued to complain.. and our brother continued to make broken promises and still undependable(Our brother continued to live in the house Our parents rented for over +30 years) , my sister went everyday or every other day, I went on wkends when I didn’t work. Mother had all she needed and then some. But still, when he showed up, seems like we got kicked to the curb..Anyway, when mother was in the hospice facility, a friend pretty much dragged him over to see her. This happened a couple of times during her last days. He didn’t show to help with the arrangements (as he said he would) nor has he help pay his part. They say of the funeral, he showed up. We politely told him where to stand to greet people at the door. As we didn’t stand up front(as we should have🤦‍♀️ Mother was cremated) he wouldn’t go down to the front where everything was set up. When the service started, he left. And we haven’t spoken or seen to him since and that’s been ..we told mother we would watch him..he’s the one who walked out on us...my sister has had a tad more contact..he called when he needed bailed out. He’s not alone..there is a long time girlfriend. A lot of things have happened in our personal lives that I’m sure he is aware of, he hasn’t called to check on us. Like I said, I feel he left us. We have tried all of these years. He brought this on himself. There was no estate to fight over. He ruined our parents name by letting the longtime landlord down.. owing over $3,000.. having rob be evicted.. I know this because I use to be the “go between” until he walked out... now, I’m done...

You'd never know it but I have a brother. We were raised by the same people at the same time. We both witnessed our grandparents decline with dementia and we also saw our father's 5 other siblings take turns in their care. I'm sure they had their issues too but what we saw was a family coming together when it was needed. This is not the case at all with my brother and our elderly father. Dad lives with me for 3 years now and I do everything for him. I take care of his meals, I make sure the house is clean and that he makes it to his doctor appointments. I make sure he gets out of the house daily even if it's just to go to the store. I take care of the bills, I keep up with his daily hygiene and I try to make sure he's comfortable. I'm 51 and single and for the last 3 years, I hit the pause button and haven't been able to hit play yet. My brother, his wife and 2 young girls used to live about 30 minutes away and we only saw them at MY request (he NEVER initiates contact) maybe 5 or 6
times in 2 years. They have since moved to a town 2 hours away and we've seen them once in a year at their new house. I've gotten over not getting any help with my dad from my brother or getting any sort of break at all when they've already been on 3...THREE vacations so far this year. I've decided that the stress of being angry all the time just isn't worth it. It breaks my heart however, that my nieces aged 2 and 4 do not have a relationship with their grandfather. Their parents never call to check in and give them a chance to at least talk to him. My brother and I were at my grandparents' house every week with all my uncles, aunts and cousins and had really great memories of those years. Holidays are ALWAYS with my sister-in-law's side of the family in Maine or SC and my father and I are not invited. My brother and I used to be close and so I'm really angry about being ghosted for this long of a time. We've never talked about money or what will happen when he finally passes but it should be an interesting conversation. My dad made me the executor of his will and my brother would only get anything if something happened to me and I'm not inclined to be very generous.

people (Family, friends, the LO Physician) do frequently disappear or avoid when your LO has dementia for whatever reason Be it not wanting to get financially involved or give their time, or they just can’t handle stress at all 😐 Many people can’t seem to be around or handle brain diseases in LOs (or just generalized debilitating aging) for WHATEVER reason. The bottom line is to forgive—so you wont lose YOUR health and protect yourself so that you may move forward afterwards. I feel hurt and sad too and angry with some. Mom has not passed yet, but I’m planning to take the best care I can of her and protect her and let them go. I will place my true trust in God and know that I’m doing what’s right in a horrible situation ...people are too fickle . I truly understand tho these feelings posted and empathize with you all ! Blessings

I know someone who will never speak to her only sibling again. There was fighting over the finances and brother ended up suing her because she used her mom's money for 24/7 in home care, so she could build a house on the opposite side of the country and fly there every few weeks for 10 days at a time. The brother tried to take over mom's care. Most of us caring for a parent in home are lucky if we get a break to go to the grocery store. These two will never speak to each other again.

We are in pretty much the same situation. Hubby and brother have been estranged for years. His sister had died several years ago, so there was just the two. MIL passed away last Christmas Day 2018, and brother wouldn't even come to the funeral. There was no help from anyone during MIL's stay at the nursing facility. We've been on our own.

I'm the youngest of 3 and I'm alone caring for my mom. I'm almost 30. My oldest brother is literally 30 minutes away (2 cities over) and hasn't the time of day to check on his mom, even text her. He's mid 40.

Sad cause she stuck up for him countless times, held a party for him and his former wife, bailed him out of prison several times, visited him in prison which she swore she'd never do, even supported him despite his stuff and alcohol addiction.

My second oldest brother wants to help but he is on the west coast and has a family of his own. He's over 30. I don't blame him for wanting a family but moving far away and not being able to visit his mom is a real downer. He claims he won't be able to visit for a year or so and keeps pushing the moving date back.

I feel alone in this but I honestly do have good friends who want to help. Not much they can do given my mom's situation but at least they're here.

Really, such a shame the family dynamic is dying. I was the oldest of 4. Always had an Uncle or Aunt dropping in for a cup of coffee and to eat something Mom baked. Since Dad was one of 8, had a gaggle of cousins. But, those cousins have had to move away for one reason or another. TG for Facebook so we can keep in touch. My brother is 7 hours away and now Mom's gone, I doubt if he will be back home. Sounds like I am a "Debbie Downer" but no one comes back just to visit us. We have been to see them more times than they have been up here. Mainly stop overs on the way to MILs in Fla but she has been gone for 6 years. SILs seem to think our family isn't as important as theirs. So when cutbacks were made, my girls got nothing when SILs nieces and nephews still got. The two that did this, one on each side, I never understood anyway.

There are big age differences between my youngest brothers girls and mine. Like 18 yrs between the two oldest. So nothing in common there. We haven't seen them since my Moms funeral 2 yrs ago. Both in early 20s.

You wonder how children raised in the same family with the same genes can be so different. And no, you don't have to like each other. I feel though, when you bring someone else into the fold, things do change.

I have to wonder, if we don't just grow up and go our separate ways, separate interests, separate life experiences, and maybe in the end .. just because the person is blood relation, it doesn't automatically mean it's someone you'd seek out to spend any time with. The person you grew up with in a sibling .. may grow up to be someone that you just don't enjoy being around.

That same sibling, no help at all, estranged, . .and/or just indifferent and no help in the c'giving role, and/or decisions .. but all of that aside, it may be that the relationship just distances in the end, simply by the fact, . .it's just not a person you particularly enjoy being in the presence of.

That's the case with myself and a brother. He does nothing to help ... nothing. I've distanced myself from helping for a whole other reason .. and so am not on the scene c'giver role . not in large measure .. not anymore, .. for different reasons.

But as to a brother who 'could' and 'should' help .. at least in most recent times when there was more acute illness .. and didn't. That's one reason I don't seek out to spend much time with him, but .. .the bigger reason is he just isn't anyone that I desire to be around. I find him pompous and arrogant . and not at all anything I have in common with, other than we share the same genetics. Not reason enough for me to try to overlook and be around him.

It is a great weight lifted off my shoulders. One sibling kicked mom out and hasn't seen her in 7 years, but thinks she deserves a telephone call when neighbors tell her that there was an ambulette or ambulance at the house. The other no longer comes to see her mom because there is no WiFi int he house for her son to play video games. I have come to the conclusion that I never want to see them again and after seeing what I have seen ad trying to understand their actions; I am just too damn busy taking care of their mother while they sit in their homes thousands of miles away. And actually I sleep a lot better because I can put my energy to more positive things then wondering why adults in their late 50's and 60's don't care.

For me, I think dealing with this situation would make it impossible for me to forgive them. Unless they really really begged and totally understood the hell they had put me through.

Otherwise, I think the damage would be done and you can't unring the bell.

No relationship with one sib, the one who 'jails' mother. Minimal contact with other 3 and it's ALWAYS at my instigation. ALWAYS.

Trying to do a group gift for Christmas and he will not even answer an email. I have to have his 'permission' to get this gift and I need to order it ASAP, but he doesn't respond.

I imagine that if mother ever dies, I will help with the cleanup/cleanout of her apartment and will never speak to him again.

It's sad but if I never see my sibling again, I'll consider that a win. Unfortunately she's vulturing around now so that's unlikely for a while. She's done virtually NOTHING to help with either parent, emptying the house, etc...the works, but the second Dad passes she shows up after years of estrangement asking for an 'advance on her inheritance', among other greedy behaviors. It's hideous. If anything she's created more work for me since I need to keep track she's not going to try to defraud mom, etc...And she acts like a victim!

Thanks for the opportunity to vent. I'm not glad there's more of us 'out there', but I'm glad we can acknowledge each others' experience.

I can't really answer as to how my siblings will end up or if we'll even get on in the future. Our father is still alive and my brother is the POA which suits my sister and I fine as we don't want the responsibility. We have a weekender which my father claims he bought for me as he assumed I would never marry, which I have. While the weekender is nice to have for rental purposes, I.would rather sell it and have everything split 3 ways, so we all get the same amount when our father dies. But my God, he bitches and moans about money and having to pay capital gains tax. He doesn't care that his obsession with money drives me insane and his constant bitching about my brother ripping us all off.
Anyway, I've started setting some boundaries with our father. Not ringing him every day as I used to, doing some things for him but giving my husband and myself some space too. I can't allow myself to feel guilty anymore. He's always happy to.hear from.me still at least.

My mother raised four children on her own with no help from my father. She was diagnosed six years ago with Dementia. None of my siblings believed it and fought me tooth and nail because I took her to be evaluated. There isn’t enough room on this page to express everything they have done to her and me. The last two times my older sister came I had to call the cops to have her removed. They even reported me to the Office of Aging three times saying the most awful things I could ever imagine. They have accused me of unbelievable things, poisoned my nephew and nieces against both my mother and myself. Nobody calls or visits or even sends her a card. I can’t believe that this is how they have thanked her for giving up her life for us. She didn’t even date anyone because she devoted all of her time to us. I pray for them to find joy, peace, and happiness that only a miracle could bring them. But again I hold out no hope. Mom and I laugh and carry on and have a lot of good days as well as bad. It’s too bad that they are missing out on the most wonderful mother anyone could of asked for. I’m glad I have her in my life and glad she still knows who I am, because now she doesn’t know them, so very sad😢

My biological brother was super, and we never became estranged when decisions about caring for my mother were made. Oddly enough, the estrangement I had was with my step-sister who accused my husband and me of killing my mother as she had a major medical incident while we were out of the country attending my daughter's wedding. Granted, my mother's health was declining. But my son was living at the house at the time along with her husband who was a practicing physician. I also made arrangements for my cousins to come by the house daily to check in on her.

Relationships are tenuous right now. I think she had some eye-opening moments of her own when her biological mother had a stroke. However, since her father (her biological father, my step-father) lives with my husband and me, it makes EVERY decision (financial, medical, day-to-day care, etc.) so difficult.

My brother is very rich AND narcissistic. I gave my house of 28 years up, a job (working for the family business for 25 years, busting my butt till my brothers social-path girlfriend got rid of me, and he did nothing) and moved in with my 87 year old mom (who had a bigger house) to take care of her since she has dementia. I did not want her leaving her home, and thought I could take care of her, and I did for 10 months, ALL by myself. It was like taking care of a toddler. She was not self care at all. My brother never helped me take care of her, or give me any breaks. HIS traveling, and HIS life were just to important to give up, and I am 60, single and unemployed, so he left me to do everything. I finally had her put in assisted living since my health was going downhill from stress, exhaustion, and depression. She has been there for 8 months now, and is happy, and seems so much better. I wish I could say the same about me. We both live in the same town as our mom, and I still do everything, such as picking up her meds, taking her to the Doctors, etc.... My brother doesn't give a shit about me, or really even our mother who has been the best mother ever! My brother and my relationship just keeps going downhill further and further, so, no, when something happens to her, our contact will most likely be done. We rarely talk to each other now.

I am still close to my only sibling, my brother. Even though he doesn't help out my Mother I don't hold it against him. He's been in therapy and he is not obligated to take care of my Mother anymore than I am. But I live 15 minutes away and he lives 5 hours away. He has a wife that my Mother NEVER EVER got along with. My brother has a daughter that my Mother doesn't even acknowledge. So I really don't blame him for not wanting to be in my Mothers life. My Mother on the other hand always was their for both my kids and was always good to my husband. So I honestly can say I don't feel resentment towards my brother. He is 9 years older than me and I have always looked up to him. We are still close. They lost their only son years ago at age 21 in an automobile accident. My Mother still can't put herself in their shoes or show any kind of empathy whatsoever. The only thing she said was I'm glad it happened where he lived and not when he was visiting me. My Mother said my brother and sister n law would have blamed My Mother if it happened when he was visiting her. That's all she could think about was her own self!!!! I have always been heartbroken over it. I can't imagine going through that. I'm not about to turn my back on my brother since my Mother hasn't been their for him and his family at all.

I feel so fortunate & obviously in the minority. My sister & I disagreed at times but always worked it out. She lived 2 miles away from parents & I lived over an hour away. I was primary on so many levels but I think it’s because I am proactive & she is reactive. We settled into our roles and often vented to each other about our brothers.

One brother lived 600 miles away & would have been just as useless & uninvolved if he lived next door to our parents. He was the golden child who we all catered to our entire lives. We made peace with it & ended up helping him with his battle with lung cancer.

The other brother lived 30 minutes away from our parents & started to visit/help Mom on Sundays because his marriage was falling apart & he needed an outlet. Worked for us! And help he did — every Sunday for years. Just like sister & I helped every week.

When Mom passed 5 months after the long-distance brother passed, sis & I realized we are all the local brother has. It was like we collectively agreed to let bygones be bygones and leave the squabbles & hurts where they belong — in the past.

Again, I am reminded of how fortunate I am. Now my husband’s family? Another story entirely. But it has been like that the entire time I have known them — almost 35 years. They thrive on drama & discord, orchestrated by their narcissistic mother. I can’t ever see them all getting along at the same time, regardless of what they would like to do. The hurt is too much & too deep. The walls are too high. The distrust is too much to let go. The relationships he has right now is with his brothers and only with them — no wives or (adult) children included. That last part I find incredibly sad — that the cousins have no relationship.

I was surprised my brother's didn't visit Mom more. Yes, the one lived 7 hrs away but only visited maybe 2x a year. When their kids got older, they didn't visit. I understood that brother's job was driving everyday so 7 hrs on a weekend was pushing it. My other brother lived 30 min. away and rarely saw Mom. I know it was hard seeing Mom the way she was but I had to deal with her decline everyday. She was a good Mom. Our friends were treated like her children. Everyone liked Mom. It just surprised me that her sons didn't keep in touch more. When we do get together, its like old home week. I enjoy the time. The one thing is they left me alone to care for Mom. I would run things by them but in the end I made the finale decisions.

No relationship after my father died. There was also a dispute with my brothers over money.

I have three siblings and was the primary caregiver because I am a single woman and lived in the same city. My sibling who lives in another state did the best she could under her circumstances, visiting quarterly and calling our parent regularly. One who lives locally hosted dinners on holidays but didn't visit much or offer help on other days. The third one offered suggestions of more things he thought I should be doing without offering help. He has no responsibilities but himself and yet contributed the least. My relationship with these siblings is proportional to their actions. I talk occasionally with the remote one, less occasionally with the holiday host and never with the self-centered one. There are not strong family bonds between us and I don't expect to see any of them again. Certainly they don't care about me.

It depends on the day. When my mom got very sick and I called my brother to let him know (he lives far away), he seemed concerned and offered to help. Later when she got out of the hospital and had to move into a nursing home, he was much less interested. Lately, he hasn't been answering my calls or texts. My mom doesn't understand why he never calls her and it makes her sad; I feel stuck in the middle since he does actually respond to me more often than he does to her.

Being born into a family doesn’t automatically make it a family. Family dynamics can be very complicated. It takes all parties to make it work. Not everyone has that. For those who do I am truly happy for you. What a blessing.

Please understand that some of us wanted that too but through no fault of our own it simply wasn’t possible. We can’t force siblings to care.