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I am in similar situation with mom 86, with dementia and incontinence. I can only speak to my experience. I have been looking at options over past few months and have visited two board and care residential homes, and two memory care facilities. Just yesterday I visited the last one. I learned that in my state of California there are forms to be completed by mom's doctor before she will be accepted at any place. So a doctor appointment is my next step. Then I can submit all paperwork to my choice of facilities. I have narrowed my choices to a board and care with max 6 residents, and MC with five cottages each with 14 residents. Both offer care through end of life/hospice care. The board and care is smaller and has better staff ratio and is less expensive.The MC facility is much bigger and has lots of activities. It groups people with similar care needs into cottages. They use an ADL point system to determine level of care. A nurse there evaluates the residents and determines the points/level. The more care required, the more the cost. So, as others have said, and I have taken their words to heart over the past few months, do all your research now. Narrow your choices. This gave me control over a seemingly overwhelming task. I'm with you in spirit!
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I suggest you look at facilities that can "phase" her according to her increasing need. Seems she will need a place with skilled nursing care and memory care.
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againx100: Perhaps you should revisit your mother's neurologist to see what his/her assessment is for managed care facility living going forward.
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Maybe Assisted living...forgetfulness is common there. But be prepared to hear a sales pitch wherever you look. Don't judge just by what they tell you. Pay attention to what you see, hear and smell.
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