My mom passed away last night after many years of dealing with dementia. This really isn't a question, but just a moment to say thank you to this community for the advice and for providing a place to look up answers for questions I didn't even know I had. Her end of life was peaceful and followed the path most frequently described in this forum. As traumatic as it was, I was able to be with her because I had read so much on here about what to expect in these last few days. Yet even as prepared as I was, I still didn't expect the end to come as quickly as it did yesterday. I do want to emphasize what others have said in that hearing is THE LAST sense to go. Mom had a real cognitive rebound this last week and knew who we were and was making jokes as recently as Wednesday. But when she was in her last hours and no longer showing any signs of consciousness, I played one of her most favorite songs: You'll Never Walk Alone, and as I did, one tear slid out of her eye, and then she passed 15 minutes later. I truly believe she heard that song as we had been there with her the entire day without seeing any sign of conscious movement, but playing that song made her cry. Please always talk as if they can hear your every word. I was shocked that the hospice nurse had come in that morning and said, "So you've stopped all her medications except for comfort, correct?" I just keep thinking how scary would that be to hear if you can not communicate anymore and it sounds like someone is talking about you dying. Anyway, thank you all again. If anyone has any questions, I am ok with responding as it feels better to talk about it.
She sounds like a pretty amazing woman. Hugs to you.
My Mom had closed her eyes about 2 weeks before her passing but she still responded when the nurses talked to her. She then would not get out of bed, I told the nurses not to force her. Then she could not swallow. She was transitioning. Took my nephew to visit her. I sang her favorite hymn " All is well with my soul". We left at 1:30PM, she was proclaimed at 1:50pm, 20 min after we left.
I am sorry for you loss.
A side note on what the Hospice nurse said. I hope you will get a chance to tell her/him your feelings about the comment. Either in person or you will get a questionnaire or survey in a few weeks please mention this then.
Now another side note.
Do not leave the Forum. (Unless you want to)
You have learned a lot and there are others facing the same challenges you did and can use your point of view, your opinion, your knowledge so please continue to share what you have learned.
((hugs))🫂
You should always be proud of what you did for your Mom.
Sorry for your loss.
So sorry for the loss of your dear mum
Hearing her most favourite song before she passed, she must have felt so much love in that moment,
wishing you all peace
xxx
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet mom.
The song you referenced was my high school graduating class song and is so beautiful. I am glad your mom got to hear it one last time as she lay dying.
I agree with you on choosing our words carefully when in the presence of someone dying. I have experienced it twice with loved ones. One 19 and one in his 80s. We do need to be reminded so we don’t waste a moment in ushering out the offending voice when they ignorantly assume they are not heard. It is so disrespectful. Especially from the medical profession who should know better.
Even if the dying doesn’t hear, it is upsetting to the family to be left with wondering if the callous words were heard as your post clearly explains.
Wishing you peace.