I printed out 2 articles. One on Caregiver Burnout and one on Caregiver Depression.
Should I give these to my mother ? She's a very negative, critical person and has no idea how much I have given up to care for her, yet all she does is complain.
i don't want to hurt her feelings or make her think it's her fault, but i think she should know how this affects me. Of course, there's always the chance that she will twist it all around to make me feel even worse !!
I've always been the empath in my family, sometimes to a fault, and I internalize everything. I hate conflict , so I avoid it, but in doing so, I am hurting myself.
When my husband slipped and told my mother that I was struggling with depression, she started hounding me about it, and then she started telling me that I had lost my mind.
I guess i was thinking that this is my way of giving her the information and letting her get out of it what she will. I'm still the frightened insecure child that I've always been so I thought of this as taking a step towards respecting myself enough to stand up to her.
I so appreciate everyone's input and I'll be sure to let you know what I decide to do. Any other comments are definitely welcome.
You've come to that fork on the road; now take it! Give her the articles to read and brace for impact. Since you don't know how she'll interpret them, try anticipating her moves. Refuse to be abused, but do it respectfully. Good luck, and welcome to the family.
-- ED
I agree that the articles probably won't go over as you'd like. Moms like these never think they apply to them because it's always someone else's fault. But you know your mom better than we do and if you think it'll help, go for it.
I wish you the best. Taking care of a negative parent is a challenge.
As for giving them to my mom, I hear what you're saying and that was what I was afraid of. But on the other hand, since I can't have a discussion with her, I thought maybe this was the next best thing. hmmm
So as others start to add to your post just want to welcome you and assure you that you've come to the right place for help. We're here for you, I know I couldn't have gotten through my ordeal without the wonderful people that I've connected with on this site.
That's just my opinion, I'm sure others will have others but please keep us posted on what you decide to do.
I am curious as to what type of relationship you've had with your mom in the past.
I hope this helps and I'll be watching to see what happens. By the way, what magazines are those from, I'd like to read it for myself. Perhaps I could find them on line.