My 79 yr old FIL made a choice last year to stop communicating with a younger family he used to be friends with after learning from others about gossip & lies being spread about our family by the husband and wife.
On Christmas day they sent my FIL a text asking to have lunch next week. Dad was hoping the time apart perhaps had made them less toxic, but just so he could feel safer from their gossiping ways, he replied saying he would have lunch with them provided my husband (his son) was present. This made them unhappy, so yesterday they called TX Adult Protective Svcs stating my FIL is being abused by my husband & I.
Today my FIL received a call from APS demanding he meet with their investigator. He told them the claim was ridiculous & a meeting was unnecessary. The investigator responded that if he refused she would bring law enforcement. He took her number and said he'd call back. He then called my husband to let us know what was happening. We told him we understand this upsets him but we know we have nothing to hide, and the investigator is only doing her job so there's no reason to be mad at her. We advised him to call her back and make an appointment allowing her to come to his home on Monday.
My husband is the only surviving child & MIL died 18mos ago. Dad struggled initially but he is doing better now. My husband is Medical & Financial POA but Dad is still making his own decisions. Yes, he is showing some forgetfulness, but he and my husband have him under the care of good physicians, and following the physician's suggestions, my husband & his father have set up smart and healthy safeguards. My FIL has his own bank account, pays his own bills, lives on his own, has an active church and social life. We, and his grandchild, have a healthy, loving & supportive relationship with him. The call to APS is just continued spiteful behavior from people who don't like that Dad has chosen to create healthy boundaries with them on the outside.
We are certain there's nothing that could be found to substantiate these absurd claims. But Dad wants to know what questions to expect from the investigator. He also wants to know if he MUST answer all questions posed. He says we don't have anything to hide, yet he doesn't feel his medication or finances are their business, and he definitely doesn't want information he shares to be given to the people who called in the ridiculous claim.
What specific questions should he expect? And should he have any expectation of confidentiality with APS; he doesn't want his private information given to the very people he wants healthy boundaries from.
When APS visited my house "investigating" my mother's care, they introduced themselves (provided me with business cards), told me about the complaint they had received, and asked to speak with Mom. I walked them down the hall to Mom's room where they noted the bath transfer chair and grab bars in the family bath, the standard walker, rollator walker, bedside commode, lift chair, and adjustable bed in Mom's room; a wheel chair was in the guest bedroom. They asked her a few very general questions like "how are you doing", "do you feel anyone is mistreating you", "what did you have for lunch" (cleaned lunch plate was still sitting on bedside table), "does your daughter leave you here alone", etc. (APS spoke with Mom alone, but my baby monitor was on and I could hear it all.) They did not ask about her finances. They noted the info sheets posted on the wall with instructions for calling 911 and our address as well as directions on how to call me and use the HELP button on the wall. They asked me if Mom used the cell phone on her bedside table. I told them she still calls me occasionally but mostly she just answers it when I'm out of the house so I can check on her or when her sister calls. I told them whenever I leave her alone, I write a note telling her where I going and when I will be back. If something delays me, I will call her to let her know I'm running late. I'm usually out 25-60 minutes. The HELP button is a panic button setting the security system alarm off and I pointed out the siren is mounted outside to summons next door family and neighbors. There is a key available in a lock box outside. During the second visit required to close the case, they brought information about some programs (including adult day care) they thought would help us.
Hope this is helpful. I understand why you resent the intrusion, but the SWs are only doing a job that does need doing. They have no way of knowing which complaints are bogus and which are sincere until/unless they check up on the senior.
So not to worry. Just let them come, be welcoming, offer them a spot of coffee, tea or juice. Answer their questions honestly and without any anger. Tell them why he thinks he was reported.
And to tell you the truth it is this COUPLE I am now worried about and terrified of. I would NOT have any communications with them, and if, after this APS visit this couple interfere again I would assist Dad in getting a protective order against them so they keep their distance. They are clearly dangerous and have ulterior motives UNLESS there is something you are missing in all this.
Hope you will keep us updated; this is a fascinating one.
Yes, APS will respect his privacy. They will only report if they found problems they are following up on or if they found no problems and will not be back. This is a GOOD system. Reassure Dad it isn't APS that's the problem here. It is the couple.
We have a very good friend who is an attorney. We have reached out to ask if he would simply be present for the interview. Given FIL is under the care of a neurologist for memory issues, we all agreed it is in Dad's best interest to answer the investigators questions with his own attorney present just as a witness.
I'll let you know how it goes Monday.
Are there any repercussions for people who make false claims? There should be. What a waste of time for everyone because they are vindictive and like to stir the pot. So sad.
"He may have to give signed permission for them to obtain Dr and ER records." Again, social workers do not NEED to obtain medical records nor are they qualified to review medical records.
"Just give them what they want." In my opinion, that is terrible advice.
Your father has a right to privacy. He feels that his life is being intruded upon by that "younger family". He put distance between himself and them for a reason, and should share those reasons with the social worker. From the little I know about APS, your father has the right to know exactly what allegations were made *before* letting the social worker into his house. He also has the right to refuse the assessment. He also has the right to have his son present if he feels more comfortable that way.
He should get the business card of the social worker in the event he wants to contact the social worker in the future about services, etc.
Remember that your dad also has Fourth Amendment rights and he does not have to waive his Constitutional rights. Mere suspicions do not rise to probable cause.
If there is no abuse and nothing to hide, just cooperate. You don’t need to show up guns blazing, full of hostility and armed with a lawyer (do you know how much they will charge you????). Just stay calm and encourage dad to tell the truth. Also APS is not allow to disclose anything. They won’t even tell the friends who reported your dad what the outcome of their investigation is. Everything is confidential.
As far as I know, APS investigations are confidential.
I would meet with APS to address the concerns that have been raised, no matter who raised them.
APS is require by law to meet with him within 72 hours of the report. They just want to talk to him to ensure he is ok and not being held hostage or being stolen from.
You should setup the meeting, if you don't or if their questions aren't answered, then the situation looks suspicious. Being very open with APS is very important, no responding or being elusive will just extend the investigation.
During one of my father's home care stints following rehab, one of the social workers became extremely aggressive, insisting that she should be one of the first to visit Dad during the first week home. I disagreed; the nurse, PT, OT and speech pathologist were more important.
I'd met with home SWs before and although one was very helpful, it was my experience that they generally provided generic information, including on Medicaid, which didn't apply in our situation. And the other information was repetitive; I had already done my research.
This SW continued to be aggressive, so I challenged her and asked her specifically what she planned to discuss (I don't need to hear the same information twice) that needed to pre-empt actual medical therapy. She said she needed to have access to his financial records so she could make assessments on what services were available for my father.
I told her the appropriate way would be to advise my father and I of the services and merely state the financial criteria. And I'm sure there was no way she could even have guessed whether his Veterans' benefits could have been enhanced. She didn't agree and threatened to "report" me, but didn't say to whom. She really overstepped her bounds on that, and the red lights began flashing.
I denied her access, called the service and said I don't want her involved at all.
I still haven't figured out why she wanted to see financial records, but there was no way in hell she would see them.
Had dinner with FIL tonight and he agreed he will meet with APS and answer their questions to the extent they will clearly see he is fine, and he will have his family friend that is an attorney present just to be a witness to the conversation so nothing can be misconstrued.
Elder abuse is very real so APS is just doing their job. No blame on them at all, but we would be negligent to not assure Dad's rights are not violated in any way. Since we cannot be there, then having his attorney present as a witness is wise.
Will keep y'all posted as to what happens Monday.
And I know from your professional and rational method of handling the situation that you have advice to share as well.
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