POA is one of the mother’s children.
She is currently living in one of her rental homes with the POA, his wife, adult granddaughter and her boyfriend. This was to be temporary while the mother received rehab. treatment. Treatment was completed months ago.
The mother wants to move back home and could with some limited daily help. She has requested the POA make it happen for months. No movement has been made by the POA.
After numerous requests by the mother's other sons the mother was allowed to visit and spend a weekend with one. For the first time in almost a year she was able to see all her other children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
During that visit the mother slowly opened up and shared concerning facts about her treatment, and care while living with the POA's family. She asked to extend her visit and shared she was scarred to return to the POA, in fear of retaliation for sharing and not following all their rules while she was visiting.
The POA was contacted and when informed by his mother of her desire he refused to allow her to extend her stay. POA refused to bring her additional medicine so she could stay a few days longer. Advised he would block any efforts to secure additional medicine at the RX so that she could extend her stay... ETC.... to avoid arguing the mother eventually agreed to return to them (as she had several doctor visits for that week). It was agreed she would return to her other sons home for an extended visit in 3 days (after the doctor visits, the second son had offered to take his mother to the doctor visits but the POA refused).
When the day came for the return visit the POA refused to allow the visit. The POA has further refused that son from coming to visit or even to face to face check on his mother. A third son is also denied visitation. The POA will not allow either son to speak to mother on the phone.
The POA offers no reason for not allowing the visit; he just refuses it, stating he has the power and authority to do so.
POA advises mother is competent.
What action is appropiate?
We all know that having POA does not confer the powers that the current holder thinks it does, but if that is what he is using as justification, then remove it. I don't understand why this hasn't been done.
What the brothers need to do at this point, I think, is get an attorney.
POA continues to refuse family phone conversations with mother, or visits. He advised that the mothers condition has taken a massive downward turn since the 2day visit with her sons.
Both brothers went to visit their mom unannounced. The mother was sharp, able to walk throughout the home without physical assistance. In short was appeared in as good functioning shape as the weeked before when she visited her extended family weeks ago.
She asked to go home or to their home. She accepted offer from them to come with them to their home and stay for an extended time. POA refused and stated she could not leave.
Deep dark bruises were noticed and viewed by sons that went from mothers shoulder to wrist on both arms. POA offered no explanation. POA commented that the doctor had been called but she had not seen the doctor.
Police were called by the brothers. Police reviewed all documents shown by POA and advised him documents were over finances and did not give him power of her as a person. Other documents were not legal documents. Asked if POA had mother declaired incomipent. POA stated no and at no time did he assert that she was incompitent.
Police viewed bruses but asked no questions of mother or POA. He did ask brothrs if they were making allegations. They apparently advised they wanted the officer to see the bruising and do what was appropriate.
The officer asked the mother if she wanted to go home and she said yes, gave the address of her home and advised him that the home she was currently in was also property owned by her.
The POA's daughter stated that she wanted the brother out of her home and off the property. Mom advised the girl that mom owned the property not her. The girl stated that she lived there to, as a renter (no rent is paid) and she had her rights to order the brothers out.
POA threated the police by stating that if he allowed the mother to leave that he would be responsible if anything went wrong.
In the end the police stepped away and talked with her superior. He returned and stated that they did not want to be involved and suggested civil action. The brother asked what civil action. The mother is compitent and she should be the one seeking legal action and can't because she can't leave. officer mentioned going for custody. Brother asked why would they and how could they get custody of someone of age who is compitent? Officer stated he was just doing what his superviser told him to do. He suggested the brothers leave since they had been asked too. When the brothers stated that their mother owned the property and had already told the officer she didn't want them to leave ... the officer said that complicated things but he suggested they leave and he could do nothing.
The officer commented that he tried to reach another officer about the bruising but that he was involved in another arrest so he could discuss it with him. He would discuss the matter with him when he was available.
The brothers left without their mom.
Ok..... so now what??? Any solid suggestions?
I may be wrong but I doubt the brothers are overly concerned with stepping on the POA's toes. :)
Thanks again! I beileve the brothers have or are proceeding.
Calling APS is the first step. Her bits and pieces of information and the fact that she was scared to return should have warranted a call to APS before she returned to her own home, because practically speaking, he's living in the house that SHE owns.
Today is Tuesday. Call APS now. She's living in fear of what can happen unless she does exactly what POA wants and no one should have to live in fear of another person, especially when that person is their own son. She needs YOUR help, so get on the telephone with APS and get the ball rolling today. Let APS call the sheriff. As a matter of fact, if POA resists APS, THEY'LL call the police. They can do what needs to be done to protect her, but they can't do it without a complaint from YOU.
I think the brothers hate the idea of bringing conflict to a head by showing up with the police...it is just sort of in your face. Yet besides calling APS it may be the only option that will allow them to visit her, providing the Sheriff asks the mother and the mother is willing to stand up for herself and say "yes I want to see them".
During her short 2 day visit she expressed strong emotions about her concerns of how she would be treated upon her return to the POA. Enough of a display off and on throughout her visit that one had to wonder if the concerns she shared were the complete story.
Balancing seeing her and not wanting to do something to make her treatment even worse is an obvious concern.
The motive behind the POA's refusal to allow the brothers to communicate with the mother is distrubing. The POA and his family's controlling role when the mother is reportably competent is alarming to me.
The idea of perhaps calling the Sheriff and giving him a heads up before going to the home to attempt a visit is well worth consideration,..as is calling APS....or perhaps doing both. Something needs to be done since conversations with the POA have proven fruitless.
Good luck and hope it works out.