I need to find an organization, immediately, that can help the family find a home for our mother to live in and be taken care of in Medford, OR, so we can take her out of the granddaughter's abusive care. The Department of Elderly Services and Disability will not help. They say nothing is wrong. My mother lives in a hoarder house with her granddaughter, the granddaughter's father, and the granddaughter's four children.
Mom is slowly deteriorating because she can't drive, she has no money, her granddaughter was starving mom's dog to the point where family had to take it out of the home, her phone has been taken away, and she is not able to speak to family members unless the granddaughter gives mom her phone, and she has to put it on speaker to listen to mom's conversations. Also, family members have to fight tooth and nail to let us take mom out for lunch or for the day. Granddaughter lies to us to keep us from taking her out.
This is just a drop in the bucket of a list of what is happening to mom. Adult Services will not help. They will not let us speak with doctors, caseworkers or DHS caseworkers because the Granddaughter is the only Authorized Representative for my mother. We are getting no help here. We would like to find an organization that can find people who have a passion for the elderly and has a proven record of caring for them in their home. If anyone can point us in the right direction that is not related to government, we would really appreciate it.
Why not ask mom if she'd like you to go over there and pick her up in your car? Take her out of the nightmare you feel she's living in, and invite her to live with you? You don't mention that as an option.....but expect "an organization with a passion for the elderly" to care for her?
What sort of "organization that can find people who have a passion for the elderly and has a proven record of caring for them in their home" exists? Would that service also be free of charge? Such an organization would be called a family members home or an Assisted Living facility that's paid for with private funds, or with Medicaid if qualified and available.
If such an organization existed, and was free of charge to boot, I wouldn't have used up my folks life savings of about $400k to keep them in AL and Memory Care AL for 7 years!
You don't have to agree with your mother's wish to live with her granddaughter. SHE has to WANT to live there and not be deemed incompetent to make her own decisions. And if she is deemed incompetent at some point, then you'll need to arrange to place her in an appropriate facility according to her financial status and mental health status, IF you hold POA for her. If not, you have zero say in ANY of this!
I have another question -- how long has the granddaughter been your mother's paid caregiver?
I have no doubt what you are saying is true.
How long has your mother been living in this home, and is it hers or his or theirs?
What are your mother's underlying health conditions?
I am sorry for this distressing situation.
A couple of questions.
1. Does your mom have dementia?
2. Does your mom have a doctor that she sees regularly?
3. Who has POA for health and/or finances?
4. Has your mother been declared incompetent by a court?
5. Is granddaughter being paid by your mom or by Medicaid?
6. Is your mother unhappy with this situation?
If DHS/police/elder services shows up and asks your mom if anything is wrong ((and she hasn't been declared incompetent), and she says "no, everything is fine" then there really isn't much you can do.
Your mother is legally entitled to make poor choices
In your shoes, I would get in touch with (in writing, by certified mail) mom's doctor and explain what you've observed and ask for emergency medical intervention.
Unless you have HIPAA paperwork done, the doc can't talk to you, but s/he can and should take action.
Does your mother have a diagnosis of dementia, or is she able to make her own decisions? Has she expressed that she would like to leave her current living situation, and if she does so where will she go to live?
Have you called APS to have wellness check done on Mom? They will interview her separately from the family in most instances.
If your mother has a diagnosis of dementia and you feel she is in danger you can ask for police or fire department to do wellness and safety check. You can also consider applying for conservatorship if your mother has been judged incompetent in her own care decisions, but do know that a fight for guardianship may be very costly. If you wish to explore the latter, see an elder law attorney.
If your mother does not wish to leave her current living situation, and if your wishing out to governmental agencies does not work, then you are likely out of luck here, and your best path forward may be to try to make peace with all, offering help and respite, and I say this with an eye to "keeping your eye on things" and gathering any proof your mom is in danger.