I come from a father, mother and sister who were and are narcissists. My father died 6 years ago and I moved in with my elderly 85 year old mother who is now cognitively declining. She is fiesty as hell. She threw everything I own out, clothes, souveniers, etc, and has informed me she is now selling the house and giving away all the antique furniture,(1800), exquisite and collectibles for nothing. I cannot stop her and relatives agree its hers to do what she wants. She refuses to leave me anything. I told her that was the last straw. I am letting her sell but never to speak to her again. Am I wrong for this? I really wanted those pieces and art paintings but my place is a tiny apartment and she is doing this solely out of spite. she is sane but plays stupid solely to me. I've asked others but everyone states its hers even though the antiques were handed down from my fathers side, he passed in 2020. I stayed with her for the past 5 years so she wouldn't be alone. Any help would be appreciated. I have tried talking but it falls on deaf ears and then she argues I am a hoarder for wanting to keep certain items.
You can't stop her from drinking or hitting you, but you can move out and away from her. You wanted the art and antique furniture but you have no room for it anyway. She's using these things to control you. Count them as the cost of getting free and then make your plans to move out and act on them asap.
I'm glad you've decided to move out and move on with a new chapter of your life. Enjoy the freedom! When I was 19, I moved 500 miles away and went no-contact/low-contact with my mother. It was the best decision I ever made. At age 40 now, I have no regrets. I've gotten to live my life, whereas she would have sucked it all out of me. It's your turn now. It's not too late. Be free!
Best of luck to you.
Yes, those possessions are hers since she was married to your Father when he passed and everything "pours over" to the surviving spouse. She gets to do with them whatever she pleases.
The more you react to her inflamatory declarations, the more power you voluntarily give her.
I respectfully suggest therapy for you. You are allowing your Mother to control you with money and material things. You even recognize it and yet can't get yourself to stop wanting those things.
MOVE OUT and stop wanting ANYTHING from your "narcissistic" Mother. Stop being dependent upon her for anything. That's the most effect way to stop the sickness and dysfunction. Run away from her and seek therapy.