His performance as health care poa and legal poa has played a major role in my health deterioration. He does not even ask what the dr said. I have to come and go in a taxi. I went in a taxi 50 mi to go have major back surgery all by myself and 3 weeks later, came home to a disaster mess like I had left it and never contacted me or my surgeons in the hospital. I called and told him I had some post-op complications and still had them for about 4 weeks after I got home. I stay by myself 24/7. I don't have a car. Due to dry mouth, my teeth have had to be removed and my doctors and my dentist wrote letters that I was not a denture candidate. Implants is all that would help me and my osteoporosis all over. I asked my POA could he help with some of it. He makes $400,000 by himself and his wife makes 6 figures too. I made $12,000 last yr, soc sec, HE IS NOT GOING TO HELP, BUT MY POA PAPERS STATE THAT HE IS TO SEE TO IT THAT MY MEDICAL, HEALTH CARE INCLUDING DENTAL NEEDS ARE TAKEN CARE OF. I was in the hospital 3 times already this month. No word from him. Can he not be prosecuted somehow for his neglect? I can prove it.
To me, and tell me if I am wrong, it is clear you can make your own decisions for yourself.
Do know, that as long as you remain competent, you can change your POA to another person you may prefer to take on this task for you.
Your POA NEVER uses his own money for your care.That has nothing to do with POA at all.
If you are having a difficult time understanding just what a POA is, what duties your POA has, do make an appointment to see an Elder Law Attorney for an hour, and ask all about this special document.
Remember, it was YOU who appointed this person as your POA, and it is YOU who can change to another person whenever you wish to.
Your POA is responsible for making decisions for you when you are unable to make them for yourself.
Your POA doesn't give any money to care for you. Your own money stands to give you care. When it is not enough you can ask your POA to help you to apply for Medicaid to assist with medical bills and placement care.
Wishing you the very best.
I think u got the point that as POA he is not responsible to support you. If your competent, he cannot keep you from getting a loan. What keeps you from getting a loan would be you have no money.
"HE IS NOT GOING TO HELP, BUT MY POA PAPERS STATE THAT HE IS TO SEE TO IT THAT MY MEDICAL, HEALTH CARE INCLUDING DENTAL NEEDS ARE TAKEN CARE OF" this maybe true but that doesn't mean with his money. No one would take on POA if they would be monetarily responsible for the other person. Even Guardians are not monetarily responsible.
If your ex, in a text, said he no longer wanted to be POA take that info to a lawyer and revoke his POA. He's not doing anything for you anyway. Ask the lawyer if there is someone who can take over that responsibility since u have no family. But, whoever that is is not responsible for pay out for what you cannot afford.
I looked up "remainderman". This means your ex gets the house when u die. How did this happen if it was in your grandparents Will that ur soul beneficiary?
Again, I think you need a lawyer. Ask Office of Aging about Legal Aide. I think you need someone to sit down with you and explain what is what. You are very confused concerning the responsibilies of a POA which usually only comes into effect when ur incompetent.
I know, it would be so nice to have someone come in and take over but looks like you don't have it. So, you find resources to help you.
I'm sorry for all you're going through. If you aren't satisfied with your ex-husband's performance as your POA, you'd better cancel it and appoint somebody else. Next time you're in touch with your PCP or your hospital, ask them to refer you to a social worker for general advice on support with managing your healthcare.
Furthermore, you are saying he's responsible for your medical needs. Even stramger. On top of all these, you had some complex divorce settlements.
I don't know what agreements and arrangements were made between you and your ex, but I recommend you seek legal counsel to help you sort them out, if indeed your ex is responsible for paying for your medical needs.
They are not responsible for cleaning your house, providing for transportation, enforcing doctors orders or providing money to do those things.
Perhaps get in touch with the social services or the the office for disabled adults to ask for help.
https://www.ncdhhs.gov/divisions/social-services/local-dss-directory
“As others have stated, a POA is only responsible for making decisions on your behalf once you are no longer able.”
incorrect.
FIRSTLY:
there are 2 types of POA:
-immediately effective when you sign
-or effective only when mentally incompetent/incapacitated/
etc.
SECONDLY:
no matter what type of POA document, the person designated as POA is still not responsible to make decisions. in other words, the POA can make decisions, but isn’t obliged to.
I hope you can get the help you need from some place else.
Ask the hospital for a case worker to help you find resources.
Call Agency on Aging in your county
Ask your doctor
Your took a taxi to the hospital without anyone being with you? The hospitals here require someone to be there with you, and be available to take you home.
Your reference to your teeth doesn't make sense, either. In your profile you mentioned your teeth got bad due to infections, which probably means you needed root canal work. Then you said the cause was dry mouth, which can be corrected with over-the-counter mouthwash and toothpaste. Curious how a dentist can do the work without knowing how you are going to pay?
As for having your ex-husband, whom you divorced 15 years ago and whom has moved on with his life, as your Power of Attorney. Even the best of divorces, rarely does one do that. If one has no one else to be their Power of Attorney, the attorney could be their POA, but at a fee. And yes, your ex-husband can step out of the role of POA at any time, even verbally say or even by text.
Are you using your health to try to get ex involved in your life again? There are other solutions other than an ex to help you.
You can certainly retract his poa for any reason, but he doesn’t have to provide you with 50k dental implants or any other expense out of his money.
I was in the hospital and recovery hospital, nursing home all together 5 months. He was to sanitize my whole house before I came home for good. I thought it had been used for horses and a pasture for both. I had to stay in the nursing home and he never did do anything about it. They let me leave the nursing home for 3 hrs every day, WITH A PICK LINE IN, and I took a taxi home, used a gown and gloves and mask, left all the windows unlocked and raised for 2 weeks before I could even stay here. Cats had no food or water, but they sure had a nice 1,000 sq foot bathroom, i can't pay a lawyer, but this is a story for Dr. Phil maybe......kidding....ccan u help me?
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Why on earth is your EX HUSBAND your POA? And why are you expecting him to take care of you and to pay your bills? Not able to get a 'denture' but 'implants only' is senseless: 100% senseless. It's the other way around, for people with osteoporosis and bone loss!! When there's not enough bone left to support teeth, implants are impossible and dentures are the ONLY alternative, that or being toothless.
You are wanting to prosecute a man who you're divorced from 15 years already, trying to keep him on the hook for health care AND finances THIS long after a divorce! It's pretty shocking, really. After a divorce is finalized, the relationship is FINISHED. If your ex wants to resign his POA, what makes you think he can't do that???
Your best bet is to find someone else to agree to be your POA and to then understand they are there ONLY to make decisions for you IF you are unable to make them for yourself. That's all. Nobody is going to agree to pay your bills or to take you back & forth to doctors/hospitals/dentists, or clean your house or anything else.
I'm sorry you find yourself in such a difficult position, health wise. I pray that you can hire a case manager or someone else to help you with everything you're trying to handle alone. I do not think your ex husband is the person to do that, OR to be your POA moving forward.
Best of luck.
i hope very much you succeed at solving things.
in your profile you wrote:
“He thinks he has resigned via text message! Ha, he does not know that is not valid.”
on the contrary:
that is valid.
it’s totally ok to resign by sending an email, sms…
in fact, you don’t even need to say anything. you can stay silent.
POA doesn’t create any obligation to take action.
however — if he takes action as POA, then that action must be in your best interests, and he can be liable if he uses POA in a way that harms you (for example, financially).
I am caring for myself and I have many many health issues and I am just not able to keep up with my house chores and not even my mail and understanding all these forms from the IRS or other appointment places I am so far behind. years behind. My POA is my x husb. He has not fullfilled his obligations to me what so ever. However, I have no living family left. He thinks he has resigned via text message! Ha, he does not know that is not valid. I researched this and I know how he has to go about that but I don't think he should be able to get away with the detrimental health concerns I have had. He has not done what my physicians directed him to do. He has done nothing, not bc he can't. He just does not want to, seriously. That is abuse and it should cost him. I need serious dental care, very expensive and it is effecting my overall health. I have no money. I just get social sec, 1,088 a month and $25 food stamps. I have letters from my doctors stating that my nutrition is poor and all these infections are coming from my teeth and I am loosing bone at the same time. If I don't have the funds, does he not have to use his and then be reimbursed from the estate when my house goes to him? This man makes about $300,000 a year. I should know, I was married to him 25 years. We settled out of court which was a big mistake. He threatened me that I would be sorry if I took our divorce to court. Hey, he is serious. So, I was afraid to and he got almost every asset we had. I got none of his business, he had no IRA, but he got to keep his business and forced me to cash in my IRA at 50 years old bc it was one yr and time for me to be out of the house. I moved myself from a 4,000 sq foot house with a fractured spine, the move cost me $ 6,000, my attorney 11,000, health insurance, car insurance and I had to go live in my grandparents house they left to me that is 70 yrs old and needs repairs. I need someone to help me with my bus matters. I need a senior life coach. My house is a life estate, so I can't borrow anything on it without his permission. He is the remainderman. I have learned so much and we have been divorced 15 years. He wouldn't sell our $600,000 until I signed it all over to him and he gave me $130,000. The day after I moved, he sunk about 100,000 of upgrades and he made the profit. All we owed was $189,000. Is there nothing I can do to help myself. I can't get an equity line, I can't do anything with the house without his permission. My grandparents willed it to me and me only. We made it a life estate later on when i was in a wheelchair, so if i did have to go to a facility, it was protected from Medicaid. My grandparents would want me to be able to use the equity they paid in this house, but all I get to do is live in it as long as I am alive or transferred to a facility, which I am never, ever leaving here or my 2 cats. My dentist and oral surgeons say I am not a denture candidate for many reasons, so I have to have the rest of my teeth pulled 8, already had 12 pulled and go thru the implant process. I have no money and can't borrow any. However, my POA papers state that he is responsible for seeing that my medical and dental needs are met and if he had to use his own money, "he would be reimbursed." I guess after I die. He is 73, I am 65. He takes an allergy pill every day, that's it. I am on about 22 pills a day. No narcotics by the way. Had 8 surgeries in the last 6 years and only had an 11% chance of survival with internal MRSA invading my right hip prosthesis which had to be removed, it invaded my tricuspid valve, myocardium and epicardium. My tricuspid valve is ok, but not at full function. I was in the hospital and recovery hospital, nursing home all together 5 months. He was to sanitize my whole house before I came home for good. I thought it had been used for horses and a pasture for both. I had to stay in the nursing home and he never did do anything about it.
Continued.............
I think there's a misunderstanding of the role your proxy plays. You're speaking more of someone who's made an agreement (and usually gets paid) to provide care for you.
What discussions did you and your proxy have before you executed the document and he agreed to act as a proxy for you? There may be a very serious misunderstanding in this situation.
“You can change your POaAs selection at any time.”
exactly.
you can revoke his POA.
you don’t need his consent to do that.
it varies from country to country how to revoke:
example:
—sometimes enough just to make a new POA document (name someone else, whom you trust), and make sure the new POA document clearly states you revoke all previous POA documents
—sometimes you can make a new POA document, BUT, you must also make an additional, official, separate document that clearly revokes the previous POA.
—either way, you MUST send the new POA document to the relevant institutions (bank, etc.), so that you stop your former POA from continuing to act.
————
as others told you:
POA doesn’t oblige someone to take action. it gives the opportunity to take action.
————
side-note:
POA is sometimes (as a warning) referred to as “licence to steal”, because sometimes family/“friends” use POA to steal your money.
one must choose carefully who to give POA to.
i hope it all works out ok for you!!
He is not neglecting your health, you are. He has no obligation to pay for anything or do all the things you seem to believe he does.
A POA document can NOT make anyone financially responsible for you or your needs.
They also don't have to be accepted by the person you assigned this responsibility too. I would say his actions say he isn't acting as your POA.