My mother uses the house as a open toilet! What do I do?

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My mother uses the house as a open toilet! What do I do?

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Big hug yellow fever this isnt easy! just now this may sound odd but maybe its easier in a way for me that she has a bag as I just use my rubber gloves and throw them out.
Gosh if someone had told me years ago id be on a forum talking about poo id have said they were mad!!!!!xx

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Just thinking out loud, please do not be insulted in this sounds harsh.
This sounds like a desperate situation that must be contaminated. With dementia reasoning and talking wont help.
How about the incontinence equivalent of a straight jacket....overalls that tie in the back, maybe around the shoulder blades, or incorporate a tie plastic wrap. Something that would require assistance to exit. A creative seamstress could alter regular overalls.
Of course, this would be worn with depends and she would need to be bathed and changed regularly.
She may rebel against this, but it may be worth a try. At least to need a solution for when you need to take her to the doctor's office.

Unfortunately an AL would likely handle this by sedation. They would not put up with random fecal deposits. You cannot either, this is not only hard to deal with but can cause infections in your home. Sedation will "fix" the problem, but it should be the last resort. Do not feel guilty if you have to go there.
Sorry you are dealing with this, it is a tough one to handle and preserve dignity.

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On a lighter note, have you tried cheese? Lots of it!

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My mother started doing that with her live in caregiver in the back room. There was poop on every nick nack the door handle ect. She was in there awhile alone. You have to treat them like a toddler if they are quiet they are in to something. So I now have that door locked and informed the caregiver to always keep an eye on her unless you want a mess. She does not do that at my house and I have her 3 nights a week and she does not do that at her adult daycare which she goes 3-4 days a week. When my mom stays with me I am with her at all times and if not its because we are all sleeping. And you have to sleep lightly. When she is at the daycare there is someone always watching her. If you don't pay attention to them they will act out.

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That is dementia / Alzheimer's. My mother-in-law would pee and poo anywhere in the house and try to clean it up. She would even try to wash her dirty underwear in the kitchen sick as I was washing the vegitables for dinner. Now a year later she is like a baby, she don't communicate anymore or respond to conversation nor even try to poop or pee while sat on the toilet. Her son is concern and don't understand why she is like this. I am concern of her not pooping on her own. The poop seem to want to come out but don't. What can we do, he refuses to put her in a home and there is no one in the house to care for her in the evening till next morning. She just sit and sleep in her bed. We have her legs up due to cirultaion problem. If her feet are down and she is in a up right position her toes go black and her legs are bright red.

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The only way to deal with this is to have linoleum on all the floors and remove all rugs. have plastic dining chairs and cover all armchairs with plastic loose covers.
Can your family deal with this? should they be asked to deal with it? talk to your husband and any other family members who may be involved and reach a decision. Mom can't help it. Can you deal with it?
The above suggestions are all very helpful. Have you discussed some kind of sedation with Mom's Dr? You can not cope with this alone.

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Before I ever put my family through Alzheimers care, pray to God I don't, I would fly me to Switzerland and euthanize myself. Honestly, I ve thought about this, is the only way to save my family from grief, is to be mentally prepared to end my own life in an acceptable way. Has anybody else felt this way too?

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This is a 3 year old posting above.
euroman, I told my kids they have my permission to shoot me if I get alzheimers, and its my biggest fear. I am on year 6 soon to go into year 7 with my mom in my house. She is so cute and sweet even though she cannot walk, pee, or talk, what are ya gonna do right? we just follow our hearts.

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It is good to read all of your comments because I too am going through the urinating all over the place with my god-mother. I thought she was doing it on purpose because she will get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Usually in the morning she will pull her depend down on go on the bed, floor or chair. I will try putting the mobile potty in her room and see if that helps but, all of your comments have helped me so much. Thank you so much for sharing!

Gwen

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My dad is 95 years old, he cannot move but he has no dementia. The only problem I do face is that he gets a lot of pain when I raise his legs up at about nearly 90 degree angle to clean him perfectly from faeces after pulling off his diaper. Please can any one show me in detailed steps supported with figures if possible the very correct way to perform such a clean. Thanks.

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Seperate his legs a little and clean all you can reach from the front without causing discomfort.
Raise his top leg a little as far as he can bear and roll him away from you. Visualize you standing on the left side of the bed and having rolled him his back is facing you and his left leg is slightly raised.
Clean everything you can reach.
If the sheets need changing untuck the bottom sheet and push it as far underneath as you can.
Tuck in the left side of the bottom sheet and roll up and push the rest of the sheet as far under him as you can.
I am hoping you have a hospital bed with rails.
Raise the rail on your side and go round to the right side of the bed.
Put his left leg down and roll him onto his back. bend upthe right leg and roll him over to his left side so he again has his back to you. Now complete the cleaning.
Pull out the bottom sheet.
Pull the clean sheet through underneath him and tuck it in.
If you are using side tab diapers push the clean one as far as you can then pull him towards you again to reach the other side and complete the diaper install.
If using pull ups do what ever you usually do to pull them up.
Before you roll him place a pillow on the side he will be facing and keep him covered with a light blanket for warmth.
This is always much easier if you have someone to help. All they need to do is support him while you do the dirty work. You can't do anything about the smell but they don't have to look at the mess.
Try and find a book on basic nursing care or maybe home nursing which should include some nice diagrams to help you. Your local library might have something.
Amazon is also a good place to look. See if you can find something used if money is tight. The shipping on used is allways $4.99 but the books are often pennies.
If I look before I post this I will loose the post but will see if I can find anything suitable.

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Thanks a lot for your postive reply... but I cannot say it has resolved my problem completely or due to my poor English may be I didn't got you as well. However I'm waiting for what you have promised to.

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Go to U Tube and type in Basic Nursing Care
There you will find many short videos showing you how to do things that you need to do for your father.
I could not find any simple books on basic nursing skills they are all too advanced for your needs.
It is much easier when you can watch someone do it in a video.

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That really helped me a lot for other purposes like moving him from bed to wheel chair using transferring belt which I ignored bedore.... but couldn't find any video dealing with my main issue, i.e cleaning him perfectly after defecation in a diaper without raising his legs upright and cause him a lot of pain as appeared in his hace each time I do.

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Poorenglish. Clean the front first as far underwithout raising his legs. Roll him on his side and finish the job from the back. If there is still some on the other side roll him back onto the side you have already cleaned clean that too. Hope this is clear now.
Also try the video about perimeal care. I have not watched that one.

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Is there anyone that has an alz spouse that gets very angry with trying to help them with bathing or getting dressed? My husband gets so mad he yells for me to get out.

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I want to thank you so much for your comment for those of us taking care of our loved ones,the words of encouragement are well needed right now, I appreciate your taking time to be of help still after ending your battle. So thank you for posting! Mrs red roses17.

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I am so happy I found this site today. My husband is urinating all over the bathroom. He says he doesn't know who is doing it though. I cut large towels in half and cut out a area to fit around the toilet base. I also put towels all around the toilet. That helps a little except he pushed them out of place and sometimes picks them up to dry himself off. I put plastic on the walls on the side and back of the toilet all the way to the toilet. Taped it up with painter's tape for easy removal. Now he is urinating right in front of the sink. I have a sensor that will beep when he attempts to enter the bathroom, but most time he is urinating before he even gets there and I haven't been consistent with turning it on. As for BM, we had some pretty nasty events on two occassions at Walmart so I do not take him to store. The first incident, he was put on his first couple of doses of lactulose and we were in the middle of the store when he said he had to go. By the time we got to the restroom BM was running down his leg. To make a long story short, the stall was a mess as was his clothing. I had to ask someone to prevent any men from coming into the bathroom so I could try to clean him up. I had to inform the janitor that there was a literal mess in the stall and I was so sorry about it. In any event, I will looking into the suggestions of putting clothes on that he cannot get off. I am going to check out that Buck and Buck site right away. Thanks.

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trich2: My husband gets angry when I have to repeat things to him and at the way I speak to him. I believe it is out of his frustration with not being able to do for himself and not being able to comprehend as he once did.

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My father has Alzheimer's. I give him a Folbic Tablet every night. it makes him sleep and keeps him from getting out of bed all night. I also get to sleep. I also use motion detectors that has an alarm. he is only left alone when sitting down or sleeping without supervision. Folbic Tablet can be prescribed by the Dr. Folic acid can be bought at any store. The Folbic Tablet works best.

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Thanks God :) because i had a chance to read some experience of taking care of a dimentia and alzheimers patients, i just realized that i'm not alone , sometimes i cried and asking the lord why it was happened to my mother? its very hard to accept this sickness, when your loveone's forget everything even YOU as her daughter, i hug her tight & whisper to her ears that her nine children and the whole family love her so much she is turning 86 this year and our only wish for our dearest mother is to be happy even though she have this kind of illness

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Get an adult size onesie where the zipper or snaps is in the back. She won't be able to remove her diapers

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I've taken care of 3 patients in my family with dementia. I want to say to all you caregivers that you are doing one of the hardest jobs in the world. God bless you! My comment is that when we see articles or TV reports about Alzheimers, they ALWAYS emphasize how the caregivers have grown in understanding, how well they are coping, the positive benefits of taking care of your old relatives, how well the caregiver is learning new coping mechanisms to deal with the patient, etc. etc. The coverage is nothing but a lie that tries to sell dementia as normal, which it is not. Caregivers must give up their whole lives to do this for loved ones. There is little useful help. As for caregiver support groups, most caregivers are too exhausted and broke to go to them while they're taking care of the patient. I believe it is time to tell what really happens with Alzheimers. Patients hiding and throwing poop, the yelling fits when you contradict them, trying to play the suggested 'games' that are supposed to convince them to cooperate when they're clearly not capable. Setting your house on fire in the middle of the night. Stealing valuables and hiding them. Wandering in the middle of the night and you can't find them and they don't know who or where they are. Refusing food, water, meds. Hiding feces all over the house. Making it impossible for the caregiver to remain sane. I am very capable and efficient but even I could not bear this....it's too much to ask. I have come to believe that when the person is terminal and in such bad shape that no one can cope unless maybe keep them knocked out 24/7, dementia patients should by prior plan be able to get a euthansia shot like we give pets to put them out of misery. My mother presently, when she can speak, cries and cries she wants to die, but no one can help her. She's diagnosed with advanced terminal Alzheimers 3 years ago, my dad 5 years ago.. He begged for a pill or shot to get it over but nothing could be done. We practice euthanasia on our pets who the pope says have souls. Why can't we with terminal dementia patients with their permission given ahead? A life has no pleasure or purpose when living as a dementia patient. There is no gladness in having a life where you know nothing, recognize less, and someone else has to care for you. And you throw feces on them. I hope that euthanasia becomes more possible in the next years. These pateints don't deserve to die in such pain and with so much embarassment, and I haven't even mentioned the family finances, which can go pretty fast for care of these people, it may be years and years. This cruel fallacy that they must stay alive till God calls them is a bunch of Sh&T. He's not calling them soon enough.

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Oh boy you certainly have had enough and it is time to place whoever you are currently caring for. With this amount of stress it is impossible to continue. As far as euthanasia is concerned i do agree with you and i believe it is the State of colorado where it is legal. The option does exist to move your loved one ther and help them end the misery. I realize finances are a big hurdle. it may not be possible in this case but for others just starting this journey it is a consideration.

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Not an on purpose thing, although it may seem like it. My mother has just begun this behavior more often. I just found the bowel movement in the tub and she recently had a loose bowel movement on top of the toilet seat (not open) in a public restroom. Unfortunately I've discovered it is not an uncommon occurrence. Gonna try the adult diapers but I think now I have to accompany her to the restroom when I can to make sure she is in the right place. At night----I don't know. She's confused at night.

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Yellowfeever, Ok, I'm usually "Ms. Natural" -- but for this situation, I would use Duct Tape to keep those diapers on. Make it impossible for her to get them down. Forget about not making her "dependent" on diapers, they will save your house! (and a bit of her dignity) You can use scissors when you change her. Loved the suspenders idea too. And I'd explore medication to make her sleep on a regular basis, so YOU could get some sleep! I know, none of us want to drug our parents, but I'm going right now to add to my advanced healthcare directive for MYSELF - "if I'm ever doing that...behavior, for goodness sake, knock me out!"

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My Mom is now entering the severe stage. Pooh things are really starting now. It is so true that they just don't know what to do with the paper. She wears depends just in case, but is always going to the bathroom. It's like the toilet is a toy or something entertaining. By Sunday night I am annoyed and sick. I love her so much and show her only the best of myself. That is so exhausting. I can't imagine life on earth without her. I'm not sure if I can go as far as the person who started this thread. I give you credit. I used to say that about others in my support group who had a Mother that is like mine is now. It is so hard to deal with the different stages as they worsen. I don't want to remember the sad parts of this existence, but like other diseases, this one is very long. I have no choice but to remember. It has been so many years this far of grief and sadness, trying to find happiness in such a horrible trial.

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My husband is 78 and heavy...not great mobility. He has trouble wiping himself in the bathroom, so most of the time I can smell what he leaves behind....he says he can't reach that far...what can we do to make it easier for him? He uses a chair to get dressed in the bath room and I keep a small towel on it, I can see the remains of his day on that....so I told him to put a wet wash cloth on the towel and sit on it...maybe it would help clean him some. Any suggestions would be so appreciated. Thanks so much. MH

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Mrsnocaregiver, if you don't want to help hubby clean up or he wont let you there are long handled wiping tools that will help him reach. your local pharmacy may carry them or you can find them on line in medical supply houses. Have you purchased wipes for him. Get the larger size for him and don't flush them. if you have the funds you can also install a toilet seat bidet which you might enjoy too! Would he stand in the shower with a hand held shower head and a long handled brush. I am assuming he is not incontinent so this will save you on the unpleasant laundry. not cleaning properly will make his skin sore too.

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My husband is a big guy, 70, and he has begun to have accidents..usually when he's sleeping, he will have a huge bowel movement and it is all over the floor and the carpets..it is happening frequently. Adult Diapers bought at Wal Mart don't fit him. I just cleaned up a "beaut" and don't know what to do...this can't go on! Any ideas??

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My mother uses the house as a open toilet! What do I do?

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