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I’ve saved the money mother received from Covid stimulus checks for funeral plans. She lives in a LTC nursing home. She has Medicare, Medicaid and BCBS but no funeral savings. I’m going to donate her body to Alzheimer’s research. Afterwards the Alzheimer’s research will return her to me cremated. Then her biodegradable urn will be buried between her parents and a tree planted instead of a headstone. I made sure with Medicaid that I could use those funds. I’m her DPOA, Representative Payee and the oldest of 8. Plan ahead now, funeral homes are big business, you will spend more when your emotional.
My sister-in-law has been involved with quite a few deaths. She found out that not every mortuary has the ability to cremate a body. So what you need to find is the place that actually has the crematorium and get the services directly from them.
My brother died last year. Cremation plus 25 death certificates was under $700. The ashes came in a plastic bag that was housed in a plastic box. A friend made an urn that houses the plastic box. She still has some death certificates in case she needs them. I live in one of the costliest states in the nation.
On a more interesting note, a friend of mine is slowly scattering his Dad's ashes. His Dad loved travelling. Hence my friend takes "his Dad" on vacation with him and scatters less than a teaspoon of the ashes on the ground near plants when he visits different areas while on vacation. Otherwise, the remaining ashes are in a discreet area in his house. He says this also encourages him to visit different places for vacation.
I've been through the process twice (17 months apart) with my parents. I have always felt American funerals were extremely over-priced and morbid traditions. Here in Florida, the least expensive option is direct cremation, no ceremony, no frills. I shopped around several companies/crematoriums as prices varied widely. You don't even have to spend the money on an expensive, optional urn. I paid around $900 in total for the most basic service. That included the ashes being returned in a plain white box. You will also need certified death certificates. They run around $10-15 each depending on region. Actually, my father had always wanted to donate his body to medical science and I fully intended to honor that wish. I had researched it and the cremation would have been free. However, he died shortly after the initial coronavirus lockdowns and donations were not accepted at that time.
If cremation is involved, you can’t just scatter the ashes on public lands or private ones, either. There are laws about this and before you do it, you need to check them. Nobody wants to swim in a lake with your loved one’s remains. If you choose a place that’s a public reservoir where people get their drinking water, can you imagine if lots of people start dumping human remains in there? The funeral home supplies an urn. Keep your loved one’s ashes in it. Put it on your mantel. Hide it in the hall closet. Geez.
Start saving for burial costs. Use part of her S.S. check. This is what happens when there are no real plans for this known coming event. I hope other readers take this knowledge as a plan. I am not being hard. I am being practical under these unfortunite circumstances. Maybe some relatives can chip in.
After cremation, take possession of the cremains and scatter them on public land yourself. That is free or minimal cost. Or if you are near the ocean find someone who will take you out and scatter them in the ocean.
What if you don't want to be in the ocean but right near it in a very secluded space. I realize the timing would have to be right in terms of the scattering. I cringe at the idea of holding on to remains. My mother is willing to have hers buried in a small cemetery with many family. I just have a problem with burying in all forms although I realize this may not make sense to most.
Why take out a home loan if her mother has no money? Family may pool together money they may have to pay for pre-paid funeral or minimum for cremation.
Robin729: Plan as reasonable as is possible with no extras. If your mother requires to file for Medicaid, a prepaid funeral can be part of the spend down process. My late mother was on poverty income of $1,234/month and still managed to prepay her funeral.
Agreed. When my mom died I just did straight cremation. Well under $1,000. Mom was all for it when she was "with it." Funerals are for the living, not for the dead, and spending exorbitant amounts of money makes no sense and is a waste of funds that could be used for the living. Just my opinion, of course.
It all comes down to what she and her family can afford to pay for. If mom has no money, will the family cover final expenses and what can they afford to chip in. A traditional funeral can be quite costly if you use all of the services like the viewing room, the funeral service room, opening/closing a grave, the gravesite itself, and the coffin. You might talk to a funeral home about the bare minimum - prepare the body and take directly to the grave site for family only burial. Everyone can be directed to a nearby restaurant or community building for an actual service. If she belonged to a church, hold the funeral service there if there is no fee.
If she her income is so low that she qualifies for Medicaid now, any amount in her bank account that you try to put up for the funeral would be countable and possibly put her over the limit ($2000, I believe).
The third option is donate body to science. If accepted, find out if that will include cremation at no cost to the family. Or just opt for cremation for her and do a memorial service for family and friends after the fact. Price cremation services in your area at local funeral homes. Some people do a small service with the body present and cremation follows the service.
I would start talking to funeral homes so you can figure out what you can afford. You can also price coffins online that can be sent to the funeral home you use. Quite a savings like that. Or
I agree with others that cremation is the way to go and perhaps you can save a little each month in a savings account for that. We will be having a "celebration of life" at home and Mom has already indicated where she wants her ashes sprinkled so no none will have to "keep up" with an urn.
The way I save money is open an savings account just for that... having money automatically sent to that account... at a bank that you do not use all the time. When you don't see you don't miss it. Each year when I get a raise I have the percentage calculated and have it sent to the "other" bank. It helps me save for vacation, trips or emergencies... I paid for tree removal that came to $2000.00 with that account.
Planning ahead is priceless. I’m 82 and competent. Over the last year I’ve compiled an “after I die” file. All was done with input from 2 adult children. Although my first wish is to for my body to be donated to local medical school, acceptance is not assured. So plan includes a prepaid cremation- no frills or formal funeral. If this is not needed, the money spent on this will be returned to my children. Either way, my children know that the only memorial “service” I want is a gathering - party - at my son’s home. Also included: will, health care directive, assignment of power of attorney and designation of children as equal recipients of assets. Its too late to arrange this after a LO has died but hope it outlines process for avoiding the dilemma you describe.
My mother is 96 with zero money, her SS goes to pay her credit card debt. Last year, I prepaid her cremation and death certificates...that might be something to look into. We aren't having a viewing or anything so it was about $1500 and the price is guaranteed if she lives another 10 years or more.
They will send you 'some ashes'. The cremation post-Medical School use is a mass one and they don't separate out the ashes. If that bothers you--do a private cremation. (I only know this cause 2 of my kids are Drs and I am planning to be cremated).
My mom is close to running out of money and we are getting ready to apply for Medicaid. I had read that before that happens we should pre-pay for a irrevocable funeral out of her money. Spoke with an elder lawyer to confirm that. When meeting with the funeral home, we were going over all of the choices and I was picking the least expensive of every aspect of the funeral....once we approached $20,000 mark, I stopped her and said she can't afford this, so let's look at cremation. Even cremation was expensive if you have a ceremony and plan to bury the ashes. The least expensive route is cremation, no burial of the ashes and a private get together at your home with family and friends. Depending on where you live, you might be able to do that for around $1,000. Have pictures out, service coffee and tea and some cookies. Depending on the time of year, you could pick some hosta leaves and flowers from the yard and make a nice flower arrangement. Her celebration of life will be very nice because her daughter is there sharing all of the memories.
Usually once they get close to 100 yrs old, none of their friends are still alive and in many cases, their children have passes and it's the grandchildren planning the funeral. I just don't see the point in taking out a loan to put on an extravagant funeral. It doesn't mean you love them any less or that their life was not important.
James so beyond great you did this BECAUSE LTC Medicaid as far as I’m aware has a maximum allowable for preneed burial & funeral policies. And its like 8K -10k max. That’s considered a reasonable fair market price for a funeral so if you go over, Medicaid can penalize on the overage.
FH very well know this. But the staff are all commission driven so too bad so sad.
also the preneed policy has to be for direct funeral / burial costs, so no floral, no police escort, no celebration of life type of catering cost in the policy.
A cremation here where I live in Florida is around $1,200. To me, that would be the way to go. Have a little celebration of life with close family & friends in someone's back yard and leave it at that.
Is Medicaid paying for Moms care? If so, check with her caseworker and see if Medicaid contributes towards a funeral. If so, it won't be much, maybe 1500, just enough for cremation, maybe. Unless u pay for it, you may have to settle for a memorial service in a Church with a small luncheon following.
In the California Bay Area, cremations start at about 800. The fee is waived if one donates ones body to science with eventual cremains going to the family.
Use of picnic tables is normally free or very low cost.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My brother died last year. Cremation plus 25 death certificates was under $700. The ashes came in a plastic bag that was housed in a plastic box. A friend made an urn that houses the plastic box. She still has some death certificates in case she needs them. I live in one of the costliest states in the nation.
On a more interesting note, a friend of mine is slowly scattering his Dad's ashes. His Dad loved travelling. Hence my friend takes "his Dad" on vacation with him and scatters less than a teaspoon of the ashes on the ground near plants when he visits different areas while on vacation. Otherwise, the remaining ashes are in a discreet area in his house. He says this also encourages him to visit different places for vacation.
Here in Florida, the least expensive option is direct cremation, no ceremony, no frills. I shopped around several companies/crematoriums as prices varied widely.
You don't even have to spend the money on an expensive, optional urn. I paid around $900 in total for the most basic service. That included the ashes being returned in a plain white box.
You will also need certified death certificates. They run around $10-15 each depending on region.
Actually, my father had always wanted to donate his body to medical science and I fully intended to honor that wish. I had researched it and the cremation would have been free. However, he died shortly after the initial coronavirus lockdowns and donations were not accepted at that time.
Why take out a home loan if her mother has no money? Family may pool together money they may have to pay for pre-paid funeral or minimum for cremation.
https://www.neptunesociety.com
If Mom or Dad was a veteran, there could be funeral benefits.
If she her income is so low that she qualifies for Medicaid now, any amount in her bank account that you try to put up for the funeral would be countable and possibly put her over the limit ($2000, I believe).
The third option is donate body to science. If accepted, find out if that will include cremation at no cost to the family. Or just opt for cremation for her and do a memorial service for family and friends after the fact. Price cremation services in your area at local funeral homes. Some people do a small service with the body present and cremation follows the service.
I would start talking to funeral homes so you can figure out what you can afford. You can also price coffins online that can be sent to the funeral home you use. Quite a savings like that.
Or
Also included: will, health care directive, assignment of power of attorney and designation of children as equal recipients of assets.
Its too late to arrange this after a LO has died but hope it outlines process for avoiding the dilemma you describe.
You can pre-pay and even get financing.
Usually once they get close to 100 yrs old, none of their friends are still alive and in many cases, their children have passes and it's the grandchildren planning the funeral. I just don't see the point in taking out a loan to put on an extravagant funeral. It doesn't mean you love them any less or that their life was not important.
FH very well know this. But the staff are all commission driven so too bad so sad.
also the preneed policy has to be for direct funeral / burial costs, so no floral, no police escort, no celebration of life type of catering cost in the policy.
Use of picnic tables is normally free or very low cost.