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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Her anxiety and bp is thru the roof and her doc is on vacation. What can I do to help her until my dad gets a move in date to memory care? (Hopefully only 2 or so weeks.). I am worried she will exhaust herself before the placement.
Cathleen63: Imho, there is ALWAYS an on call physician; the physician who covers for the vacationing primary care physician - or in your case, perhaps the doctor is a specialist. This on call physician should also be available AFTER business hours. It is IMPERATIVE that you reach this physician stat. In today's age, you will be able to receive assistance. Please imply to this covering physician that you have an emergent need.
Call the covering doctor and demand emergency help. Also call the social workers and Adult Protective Services and explain that this situation is causing tremendous problems for your mother and you need help at once. Are you able to hire a caretaker to step in? If your mother is being so badly traumatized, either someone outside must take over or he has to be placed at once. You cannot allow harm to come to her because of his behaviors - no way.
Bring in aides for your mom. Discuss with his physician so that his meds can be adjusted. Consider if your dad could go the the MC early as a respite patient (if they offer that--sometimes they keep a space open). Also, since you've settled on a MC, confirm with them about what needs to be done to make sure your dad goes ASAP-does he need any testing or vaccinations or doctor's visits that you could take to instead of your mom?
Your mom's physician should have someone covering for them that the office phone tree should be able to get you to. If that isn't an option and her high b/p and anxiety persist after getting her some help take her to an urgent care. Help her with the logistics of the move. Sending a spouse to MC is traumatic and many people feel tremendously guilty: Walk her through using some outside resources... The Alzheimer's Assosciation has an excellent and supportive spouse forum (and lots of threads about wandering)--Can you get her to navigate to the forum? it might help her to communicate or at least see that there are others in the same situation. https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=topics&f=2147485438
The Alzheimer's assosciation has a helpline if she wants to talk: 800.272.3900
Good luck with family friends volunteering… NOT unfortunately you your mom and dad alone with this horrible disease. try give your mom a break or pay for someone else to …. no simple solutions… best luck
A dose of Z-quil for him at night and overnight help to watch him while Mom sleeps too. Get someone familiar so she will have peace of mind while she’s asleep. You don’t want her restless if she’s not comfortable with a stranger in the house while she sleeps.
Try hanging Christmas bells on ribbons on bedroom & exterior doors, Your local craft store will have the supplies.
Motion sensing light to alert you when they’re moving about may help.
Motion alarms are great to alert all for any movement. They’re found at big box hardware stores, and can be placed near exterior doors. They’re very loud too.
Sedate him at night with sleeping medication. His doctor will prescribe something to keep him down at night. Install a lock on his bedroom door as well. Put a baby-monitor in the room too. Then hire a caregiver to come for the overnights who will have the other baby-monitor and will get up if he gets too restless.
Since your dad wanders at night, he will need somebody to be up with him. You can either arrange volunteers - family members, friends, members of faith community, etc. - or arrange for paid sitter(s). Either way, the "overnight person" will help your dad to and from the bathroom, keep him from waking your mom, and try to redirect him to sleep or quiet activities. If mom is still having trouble sleeping with this extra help, she might do better sleeping somewhere else until his memory care unit placement occurs.
Go there or send someone there. If he is wandering at night, she's getting no sleep at all. It won't take long until she will seem to be having memory issues - the brain gets confused, can't think, etc when there is sleep deprivation. She doesn't need to be doing this alone for the next day...or the next two weeks.
Sorry your parents are going through this, and you too, of course.
Do they live with you? Can you stay there at all? It's a big ask, I know, but the only bright side is that it is short term. How about any other family member? Or talk to something like home health services for short term assistance.
Even is someone went over during the day if that's the help you or anyone else can provide. Maybe your mom could sleep or at least rest with her eyes closed so that she can more easily deal with the night time wandering. Once he goes to MC, she can get back on her normal sleep schedule. I'm sure 2 weeks could seem like an eternity in this situation but hopefully it will pass quickly.
Other than moving in with her like Countrymouse said, and taking over your dads care so mom can get a break, or perhaps even hiring some outside help to come stay with him overnight so she can get some much needed rest, I too can't think of much else. If your mom doesn't get some much needed help soon, she will end up needing medical attention as well. I pray you can get some help for her soon.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Discuss with his physician so that his meds can be adjusted.
Consider if your dad could go the the MC early as a respite patient (if they offer that--sometimes they keep a space open). Also, since you've settled on a MC, confirm with them about what needs to be done to make sure your dad goes ASAP-does he need any testing or vaccinations or doctor's visits that you could take to instead of your mom?
Your mom's physician should have someone covering for them that the office phone tree should be able to get you to. If that isn't an option and her high b/p and anxiety persist after getting her some help take her to an urgent care.
Help her with the logistics of the move.
Sending a spouse to MC is traumatic and many people feel tremendously guilty: Walk her through using some outside resources...
The Alzheimer's Assosciation has an excellent and supportive spouse forum (and lots of threads about wandering)--Can you get her to navigate to the forum? it might help her to communicate or at least see that there are others in the same situation. https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=topics&f=2147485438
The Alzheimer's assosciation has a helpline if she wants to talk: 800.272.3900
unfortunately you your mom and dad alone with this horrible disease.
try give your mom a break or pay for someone else to ….
no simple solutions…
best luck
Try hanging Christmas bells on ribbons on bedroom & exterior doors, Your local craft store will have the supplies.
Motion sensing light to alert you when they’re moving about may help.
Motion alarms are great to alert all for any movement. They’re found at big box hardware stores, and can be placed near exterior doors. They’re very loud too.
Install a lock on his bedroom door as well. Put a baby-monitor in the room too. Then hire a caregiver to come for the overnights who will have the other baby-monitor and will get up if he gets too restless.
Do they live with you? Can you stay there at all? It's a big ask, I know, but the only bright side is that it is short term. How about any other family member? Or talk to something like home health services for short term assistance.
Even is someone went over during the day if that's the help you or anyone else can provide. Maybe your mom could sleep or at least rest with her eyes closed so that she can more easily deal with the night time wandering. Once he goes to MC, she can get back on her normal sleep schedule. I'm sure 2 weeks could seem like an eternity in this situation but hopefully it will pass quickly.
If your mom doesn't get some much needed help soon, she will end up needing medical attention as well.
I pray you can get some help for her soon.