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feelinglost-

I really feel for the situation you and your parents are in. It sounds like you are not panicked about financial issues involved in your father's care but about how you and your mother will manage to care for him if they release him before he's fully mobile.

Unfortunately, I think you're right to be worried. I believe these meetings are called to make sure the patient will have the support they need when they go home. Generally they want to release the person as soon as possible. I honestly don't know if the fact that your father has supplemental insurance will play into how long they will keep him. The one time my mother was in rehab, they required her to pay the patient's share for days 21-42 up front (estimating her rehab would be 6 weeks) and released her when that time was up.

I believe when you're in for rehab, they have to release you when you're not continuing to improve (AlvaDeer, please correct me if I'm wrong). So that will figure into when they decide to release him. He may still need a lot of help. He may always need a lot of help from this point on. If he doesn't want to exercise or move around at home, it's likely he won't want to do it at the rehab, either, and that may put a cap on how much progress he's actually able to make.

No, they don't think this is a good way for anyone to live. Unfortunately, they don't concern themselves with that. They want to make sure the patient has support at home, even if that means someone helping him walk, get up from a chair, bathe, eat, and everything else. If you don't think your mother and you can provide the assistance he needs, now is the time to apply for a permanent nursing home spot.

A private meeting without your father there might be a good idea. In your place, I'd want to know how much independence they think he will ultimately attain. Unfortunately, they probably won't be able to tell you that, because a lot depends on him and his motivation. There's only so long that a rehab can and will keep him, though. And given his lack of self-motivation and the fact that he landed there to begin with, he probably will never be better than he was when he went in. If I were you, I would assume that and start making plans accordingly.
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feelinglost8 Oct 2019
Thank you for your thoughtful answer, CarlaCB. It was stark and honest and I need it. You're right that I'm more panicked about health and safety than financial things, at least right now. Before he fell and was hospitalized and had to go into the SNF, I was terrified that my mother or I would get hurt helping him. And everyone at the hospital talked about how often that happens.

My mother and I do have things we want to be more of less sure of... like him being able to get up from a chair on his own... when/if he comes home. We didn't get a chance to ask today, not even just because he was there but because it was so rushed.

We probably do need to start making plans. Just don't know how to start... or even if it is time to start... I just hate the idea of waiting for another injury at home.
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