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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Totally Normal - it will take some time to recover . Sorry for the Loss of your Dad . People speak with grief counselors or lean the stages Of grief or Join a support group . Give yourself a break and get some rest . Buy some flowers, get a massage - there will still be a Lot of work ahead of you . Take Naps . Light a candle for Dad . Nurture yourself . Plan a trip in the future.
I say here all the time that when someone becomes a caregiver they are no longer a wife, a brother, a sister, a son, a daugher, a husband. They are now a CAREGIVER. They are the one running around trying to be responsible for every little thing from nutrition to bladder function to appointments to documents. They are the "decider" (Geo. Bush's wonderful expression). They are the one setting rules and boundaries, and they become sort of a quasi parent to whomever they are caring for, but also a sort of medical assistent, aid, RN, whatever. The family relationship gets so confused and lost in it all.
As the realization comes that there is no upside coming, relief and release comes to be almost longed for, not only for the caregiver him or herself, but for the loved one who is facing down loss after loss after loss of function in a body, of mind, finally of all memory and all "self". It becomes a tragedy from which only death spell relief and release.
I will tell you that I think at the end of all that, whether the caregiving goes on for 6 months or a year or two or ten, the caregiver is ready for the end. But finds him or herself shocked finally in that "I just lost my MOTHER" "I just lost my DAD". And the jaw kind of hits the floor with wonder at all that has happened.
It take a while. It takes time. Everything needs time for the sharp edges to be filed down by the sands of time.
And when you have had to try to think of EVERY LITTLE THING that can be dangerous, that can be missed, that can go wrong. And suddenly there is NOTHING to think about at ALL? Where do you go from there. You almost cannot grasp it.
I am so sorry for your loss. Give yourself all the time you need and go slow and remember it is FINE to feel relief that you don't have to stand witness and worry for every single loss coming that could not be imagined. It is FINE to be confused. It is fine not to know what the heck to feel for a while. There is no way to put this all away neatly in some file full of beautifully marked manila envelopes.
Give yourself a lot of time and space and slack, and remember to celebrate what was a whole entire life, not just the ending of a life.
I’m sorry for your loss. I often read about losing a parent. I can barely imagine the grief. I hope your devotion to his care brings you some comfort. Was it sudden or were you able to prepare?
I was on edge for the two years he was sick - never knowing when it would happen. He finally just stopped breathing the other day - a normal day like any other.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief is exhausting, and you are now without the thing that was a main purpose for your days. It’s totally understandable you feel that way right now. I hope you are taking care of yourself and seeing a grief counselor if that’s something you might find helpful.
After I've been through a trauma, my body is exhausted, like all of my adrenaline is just gone. Probably why your so tired , and your in shock right now.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As the realization comes that there is no upside coming, relief and release comes to be almost longed for, not only for the caregiver him or herself, but for the loved one who is facing down loss after loss after loss of function in a body, of mind, finally of all memory and all "self". It becomes a tragedy from which only death spell relief and release.
I will tell you that I think at the end of all that, whether the caregiving goes on for 6 months or a year or two or ten, the caregiver is ready for the end. But finds him or herself shocked finally in that "I just lost my MOTHER" "I just lost my DAD". And the jaw kind of hits the floor with wonder at all that has happened.
It take a while. It takes time. Everything needs time for the sharp edges to be filed down by the sands of time.
And when you have had to try to think of EVERY LITTLE THING that can be dangerous, that can be missed, that can go wrong. And suddenly there is NOTHING to think about at ALL? Where do you go from there. You almost cannot grasp it.
I am so sorry for your loss. Give yourself all the time you need and go slow and remember it is FINE to feel relief that you don't have to stand witness and worry for every single loss coming that could not be imagined. It is FINE to be confused. It is fine not to know what the heck to feel for a while. There is no way to put this all away neatly in some file full of beautifully marked manila envelopes.
Give yourself a lot of time and space and slack, and remember to celebrate what was a whole entire life, not just the ending of a life.
After I've been through a trauma, my body is exhausted, like all of my adrenaline is just gone. Probably why your so tired , and your in shock right now.
May The Lord give you grieving mercies, strength and peace in this new season of life.