I am not equipped to give him the care he needs. We are not married. I'm 76 and in the process of moving. His Medicare has run out. Before he was in a home, I took care of him for years without any help from his son or daughter. I took him food shopping, doctor's appointments, did his bills, etc. The home won't release him unless he has night and day care. He is incontinent and needs constant bathroom care. His kids want him to stay with me until they find another place. I hate to see them put him in a terrible place. I feel guilty that I have to say no to his kids. What can I do?
Even if you were married, I would suggest placing him. I am sure he would appreciate you staying involved to make sure he is being appropriately cared for, but you can't shoulder this on your own.
How do I know? I'm living it. Don't take this on unless you want to ruin your health.
you have done enough. By all circumstances, let him be released to someone else. If you take him, you will assume ALL responsibilities Forever. This is not your husband.
Good luck.
2nd. It will only get more difficult to be his caretaker. I am taking care of my husband of 50 years and it is a full time job. One of which I wasn't prepared for. I am fortunate in that I have outside help with Senior Services and Medicare home providers through his insurance. You don't have that luxury as you stated his Medicare benefits are very limited now.
3rd. I/we had to move out of our home (lived in for over 30 years) and I had to be the one to find a way to get things done all alone. Since his children have not been very helpful it will be up to you.
4th. You will have no time for yourself which is still very important. When and if you go out, he may accuse you of seeing other people. He may blame you for leaving him alone. You may have to defend your actions because he may not believe you.
I'm just sharing this with you as it's happened to me.
Good luck and prayers to help guide your decision.