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Westsign, are you paying for empty house insurance?   Is there any consideration for renting the house and applying the rentals towards maintenance and your mother's fees at wherever she's living?
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disgustedtoo Jan 2021
Be VERY aware that if someone isn't living in the place, and there is a claim, it can be denied if you don't have special insurance for unoccupied homes.

There are so many things that can happen, esp if it isn't local to any of you and sits unchecked. One very cold night (which we've been getting these past few days in the north east!!!) can cause major damage if the heat happens to fail. Break ins can happen. Critters can move in and do some damage too. The special policy we had to get required checking on it - didn't matter for me, I was there so many times/week for almost 2 years, working on getting it clean, clear and fixed!!! I was SO happy after it sold!!!

We had considered rental, but before even finishing the above, I'd had it. Who needs the extra work of being a landlord? Despite having 2 brothers, I was already doing most everything, for the condo, for mom, etc. and would end up being said landlord! Nope. Didn't need calls any time of day or night if something is wrong, didn't need to worry about deadbeats or damage, just sell it and get that Albatross (thanks JoAnn29!!) off my neck!!
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https://www.agingcare.com/questions/selling-moms-home-any-advice-463103.htm

You got some good advice on a similar question you asked back in November. I can see with the holidays this decision was put on the back burner. Looks like I didn't reply to that one.

I am with Alva here. The best thing you can do is sell the house. My Moms didn't sell till 2 yrs after her death. She went into an AL in 2016, LTC 2017 where she passed that year. I put her house up for sale in 2015. A 125yr old Farm house that my parents never had the money to properly keep up. Especially after my Dads death in 2006. I tried to get Mom to move into an apt. A lot of her monthly income was going to taxes. There were reasons why the house didn't sell till 2019 and then the price I got only covered the taxes (which I stopped paying once Mom was on Medicaid) and the Medicaid lean of 6k, (Mom passed 2 1/2 months after receiving Medicaid). We kids got 10k split 3 ways. The place was falling apart. And from 2015 to 2019 it just got worse. No one wanted to buy a house that needed so much work. The only upside, was I took my time cleaning out. But what a relief when it sold. Once Mom was on Medicaid, I was out of pocket for the utilities. I did stop the phone service when Mom moved out. I kept the thermostat at 55. Left one light on at night on a timer. I left the car in the drive to look like the house was lived in. But it was an Albatross around my neck. A weight was lifted when I signed those sale papers.

Your Mom will never be able to return to her house. Yes, she may always say "I want to go home". It may not even mean the home she grew up in, it may mean the one she grew up in. One day she may forget both.

My suggestion is sell. But you need to get Market Value if Mom ever needs Medicaid. The proceeds can only be used for her and you need to keep good records. My Realtor accessed by house but I wish I had used an accessor. Start cleaning out the nonessential stuff. My MIL hoarded magazines that she neatly put in a closet. First thing to go, as were books. What you, sister or other family members don't want sell or give away. I know what its like to sell a home you were raised in. Its kind of bitter sweet. My Moms house looks so good. The owner has changed the whole look. I kind of using the present structure for support.
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GardenArtist Jan 2021
JoAnn, that thread has apparently been deleted.  I got the "can't find the page" error message when I tried to access that thread.
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How old is your mom? Is she in a nursing home? Has she been deemed incompetent? Do you have POA? All these answers would help you decide if it's time for you to go ahead and pack up the house and sell it.

If she is not competent, you don't need her permission as she isn't really capable of giving it. In that case, I would not even talk to her about it as it would be too upsetting to her.

It is sad to think of selling a house that has been a big part of your family but it does often become the logical and realistic thing to do.

I hope you have siblings that can help you with this huge task. Even if you are not ready to totally pack up and sell, you can start working on the "low hanging fruit". Get rid of anything that is not worth saving ASAP. Even if, by some miracle, mom was able to come home, I am 99% certain there is a lot in that house that can be thrown out without a second thought. You could always start working on that first level of items while you figure out the rest.

Good luck.
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It truly isn't good to have an empty house. They deteriorate rapidly and things get missed. If a family member wishes to live there as "caretaker" you may want to consider that. As to things that can be eliminated in an overcrowded house you will know what that is. Take it slowly. The number of duplicate photos I have elminated alone in an evening isn't nothing. So take it slow and begin to haul things away a bit at a time. You will know what records need to be kept, and for how many years. Get rid of the rest of it. I sure wish you luck in this. If you are POA you can work on this. I don't know that I would sell. Any assets might preclude Mom from getting assistance. Her medicaid if she gets it will recover funds upon sale of the home after her demise. As you say, she is confused, but remember, that long term memory can last.
You can only do what you can do. I wish you luck.
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Frances73 Feb 2021
Yes, great advice. And be careful to look in every pocket, every purse, every envelope. I found hundreds of dollars Mom had "hidden" for safe keeping and forgot about.
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