She insists that she takes her own baths and just took one, which of course she didn't. She cannot get out of the tub on her own. She will only bathe....has never taken a shower. I have tried everything. I have her tub set up with shower chair and removable shower head with hose.
Say in a cheery voice, ok, "it's time for your bath now,"... help her get undressed,
walk her to the shower, and help or standby. Then, be prepared to help her dry off and get re-dressed.
If she feels uncomfortable with you, a hospice provider would send someone in to help with showering.
If she is still resistant to that, you can help her with sponge baths. Either prepare a large bowl, or the bathroom sink with warm water, a soft towel and some soap, and guide her to wash as much as she can. It won't be perfect. But it will be more than she is doing now. Or alternatively, some pre-moistened wash cloths, to at least wipe the face, neck, underarms, and between the legs.
You can get something for her to sit comfortably and soak her feet in warm water with Epsom salt. It doesn't have to be one of those fancy foot-baths - just a basin, like you would use for dishes in the sink, will do.
Treat her like its a spa day. Let her feel pampered and taken care of. She might be more open to such treatment. And, don't worry about daily bath or showering. She's probably not up to it any more. At least once a week, with a quick underarm clean in-between, will help for now.
You can wash her hair while she is sitting up in a chair or wheelchair.
Place some absorbent pads underneath first. Then, apply a little shampoo, lathered up in your hands, and give a little relaxing scalp massage. Then, gently pour some warm water over to rinse. And quickly pat with a dry towel.
Her comfort should be considered every step of the way. What is preventing her from showering now? If you can identify her concerns or fears, you know where you can help to remove those fears.