Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My mom went three years without a decent shower. Mom LOVED baths - always - thank goodness we had a second bathroom in our house growing up cause she would be in there every night for at least two hours! In my parents IL apartment there were two bathrooms, one with a tub so the baths continued until she was she was 85. When dad died she wanted to move to a smaller apartment. Neither of us realizing the 1 bedroom apartments only had showers. Had I known she would not take a shower I would have never let her move! I didn't realize she wasn't showering for quite a while - amazingly she never looked or smelled dirty. Once I figured it out and tried to talk to her about it - it hit the fan! And with my mom, the harder you push, the deeper she digs in. She had in home help 3x a week but still wouldn't do it. She once kicked out a home health nurse for bring up the subject. I tried EVERYTHING to make it happen but the most I could get her to do was a bird bath (love that term!). In AL they would give once a week showers, which she often would refuse to do. Now where she living she gets a shower 2x a week - and thank God they won't take "no" for an answer. I now realize her not showering wasn't so much about preferring baths as it was about the onset of dementia. I was so mortified, horrified and embarrassed by her not taking showers - and then her reaction if the subject was broached that after awhile I just let it go. You could have knocked me over with a feather when, after discovering this site, I saw how common the problem is with the elderly. Maggie and GardenArtist both have excellent suggestion so armed with their advice you may have better luck than I did. Best wishes!
There are a number of posts here on that same issue, raising issues of mobility, safety, being cold, and more.
I still feel that rather than argue with someone, find a way to compromise so neither of you end up fighting. Get the shampoos and soaps that don't have to be rinsed off, as are used in the hospitals. The cleaning up can be done one body part at a time and there's no issue of immersion or getting cold or having an electrical appliance in the bathroom where it's especially dangerous.
Here are some other hits for threads on a parent who won't shower. Some of the threads are hits in both searches, but there's plenty to read from others who've had to deal with this issue.
My mom HATED showers. I think, really, that some elderly find the prickly sensation painful, not to mention getting really chilled before and after.
I quit trying with mom. I had an aid come in once a week to give her a bird bath. Cracked the furnace, bought her an awesomely soft furry robe and slippers. The aid's bird bath kit included two huge towels, two soft wash clothes, Carress soap, Johnson's Baby Shampoo, high end cream rinse, and Johnson's Baby Powder. She hot do she didn't mind her bird baths at all. The aid was here about 45 minutes. Cost $30 cash each visit.
I'm reading between the lines that she is capable of taking her own showers? If so, set up all those things for her and before you try to get her in the bathroom, close the door, crank the heat and get it warm and cozy.
Make sure she feels safe. Ask an occupational therapist where hand rails need to be installed...usually two to get into the shower and one 3 ft or longer one inside on an angle.
Or maybe just see if she'll give herself a birdbath.
Hope something here helps. Others should be replying. Kind of slow today.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I still feel that rather than argue with someone, find a way to compromise so neither of you end up fighting. Get the shampoos and soaps that don't have to be rinsed off, as are used in the hospitals. The cleaning up can be done one body part at a time and there's no issue of immersion or getting cold or having an electrical appliance in the bathroom where it's especially dangerous.
Here are some other hits for threads on a parent who won't shower. Some of the threads are hits in both searches, but there's plenty to read from others who've had to deal with this issue.
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=father+won%27t+bathe
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=parent+won%27t+shower
I quit trying with mom. I had an aid come in once a week to give her a bird bath. Cracked the furnace, bought her an awesomely soft furry robe and slippers. The aid's bird bath kit included two huge towels, two soft wash clothes, Carress soap, Johnson's Baby Shampoo, high end cream rinse, and Johnson's Baby Powder. She hot do she didn't mind her bird baths at all. The aid was here about 45 minutes. Cost $30 cash each visit.
I'm reading between the lines that she is capable of taking her own showers? If so, set up all those things for her and before you try to get her in the bathroom, close the door, crank the heat and get it warm and cozy.
Make sure she feels safe. Ask an occupational therapist where hand rails need to be installed...usually two to get into the shower and one 3 ft or longer one inside on an angle.
Or maybe just see if she'll give herself a birdbath.
Hope something here helps. Others should be replying. Kind of slow today.