I know that at almost 95 with Parkinson's it's hard to do things. But every morning it's a battle to get my mother up and out of bed. Even before I say anything to her she starts with "I can't get up" and her protests. Sometimes I let her stay in bed a little longer but there are days that I need to get things done and really can't spend time waiting for her to decide she's ready to start her day which could be as late as 11:00 AM or much later.
I can't leave her in her wet diaper from overnight to all day, her bed sores will reopen and I'll have to start the fight to help them heal--as some of you know that is a difficult thing to do but barrier ointment does a good job with the healing process.
I guess what I want to know is: Should I just leave her be or should I insist that she get up? She has a disability that already makes getting her in and out of bed difficult. But when she just lays there like a log, it makes getting her up even that more difficult since I have to do all the lifting and shifting her about.
Do you battle to get your LOs up in the morning? What do you do to get your LOs out of bed without a lot of aggravation on your part?
I'd like to have more mornings that are peaceful.
My grandmother is 95 almost 96. She was living on her on and moderately mobile. Her knee was hurting too much for her to bother to get up much besides to get the mail and go to the bathroom and grab dinner. She did not bother to tell us she decided to no longer walk around her house because she didn't want us to take away her mobility. Her mobility's decline was quick and she ended up with bed sores because of the lack of mobility. Now we are dealing with infection from the bedsores and trying to get her healthy enough to possibly move her into a nursing facility if she gets healthy enough.
Is it possible to hire a caregiver a few mornings a week when you have a lot to do certain days?
You need help and a break too.
My mom starts most of her days @ noon. She has bad knees but lives in a senior apartment. She has a part time sitter. We have started leaving a snack and an OJ drink box on her nightstand for the late mornings. This helps a possible low sugar issue from sleeping in.
It has helped a lot.
We are not going to change any bad habits at this point in time.
Good luck and God bless
recommendation for immediate advice is the Parkinson's Foundation at 1 800 4PD INFO. Parkinson's is a disease that is rapidly growing and a new patient is diagnosed every 9 minutes in the US. There are currently over a million people in the US with PD. It has genetic causes in some but most cases are suspected to be caused by exposure to chemicals this country still hasn't banned. BTW if you know a veteran who was exposed to Agent Orange and who now has Parkinson's get them to the VA for their 100 % disability benefits. Like I said, there's a lot more to Parkinson's, as I started to learn after my own diagnosis last year. I'm trying to do what I can to help and have just started participating in a clinical trial for a drug to possibly slow the progression of this neurological degenerative disease. It can be annoying to deal with someone with a disability but give Mom a break. Maybe there just are times when she "can't " do whatever, especially with this particular disease. Like I said, it's Parkinson's Awareness Month.
THEY'RE OLD. THEY'RE TIRED. THEY'RE BEYOND CARING ABOUT OTHERS' NEEDS FIRST.
Now that that's been made clear, I think you need to figure out how to work around those realities. I doubt your mother wants to sit in a wet diaper and get bedsores either, so if she says she's can't get up, chances are she can't. She isn't being lazy, she's 95, for heaven's sake. She doesn't have the ability to move at the speed of someone who's 30 years or more younger than she is, and she has a legitimate disease that seriously affects her ability to move.
Please consult her doctor and see what can be done to help her.
You are attempting to care for your Mom still at home. You may be close you your own exhaustion of limitations. I am so sorry. I think I can only suggest you think of all options and choose the one best for you at this time.
I would be torn on what to do. Fine, stay in bed if that's what you really want. But, knowing that is not good for her and that YOU will suffer the consequences of that, then, you really want to push her. At some point, I guess you will have to give in and let her continue on her journey of decline. I'm sure it is hard for her and not fun and just too much most of the time.
Good luck.
My one client would do ANYTHING for me that she'd refuse to do for family. Perhaps it was the fact I was being paid with HER money that got her up and moving. In fact, just knowing it was a day I was 'on', I would arrive at 8 and find her up and getting dressed. She didn't want to waste a second of a day where she was once again 'independent'.
There's not much to look forward to, for your mom. I imagine time is one big blur and she no longer feels impelled to get up and on with the day. Is she not a 'morning person'? I'm not and hate getting up.
What would encourage her to get up? A 'fancy' breakfast? A special coffee or morning drink she has to get up to have? Just getting up to get dressed probably seems overwhelming and not worth it.
One thing you do NOT want to do is hurt your own back. I did, and wound up with 2 back surgeries, effectively ending any work in the CG field.
It's not like you can let her lie there indefinitely, as you said, she's had bedsores and that would be adding insult to injury to leave her lie in a wet diaper for hours more.
How cognizant is she? Is this behavior just acting out or is she legit not with the program enough to understand that she needs to be up and cleaned and eat. I know a lot of Parkinson meds are on strict schedules as to when they must be taken.
If you don't 'force' her to get up, how long will she stay in bed? Sometimes you have to accept what you cannot change and work around it.