Mom has been in a very nice assisted living facility since February. It took us four years of begging, cajoling, and persuading as her dementia (vascular) was worsening dramatically. Her behavior has gotten worse and worse. Her lifelong MO was to always be polite and “sweet” until someone left the room and then she would rip into how stupid and useless they were. Well, the inhibitions are gone now. She told the psychiatrist’s PA he was a fraud, she told the optometrist staff they were drunk and dumbas*** who didn’t know anything. And god help you if you are overweight (she’s been eating disordered herself for years). She refuses to shower, and won’t let them launder her clothes without a fight. She accuses everyone of theft and plotting to kill her. They are working their way through trials of various meds, but so far nothing is helping. My brother and I (we all live thousands of miles away, thank god) hold POA, and have told the staff that we’re open to anything they think might be needed, and they’ve been very responsive and communicated well with us. Mom is 91, and at this point, we are beginning to wonder how much more of this can go on… the ALF has a memory care unit and a behavioral unit, and I’m thinking she’s gonna end up there well juiced with serious drugs before long. And we’re kinda okay with that. She’s ALWAYS been difficult, but now she’s impossible. But damn, she is suffering…
I’m so sorry for her suffering and for all trying to help her.
I hope you all get some peace from this dreadful condition.
And you're correct it may very well be time for mom to move to the memory care portion of the facility as they are better equipped to deal with folks with any of the dementias.
It is heartbreaking to witness some folks with dementia suffer so, while others seem to sail right through it without much drama. Either way though...dementia sucks!!!