I feel like I'm surrounded by dementia, and wonder how hard it will be to determine if/when SO gets it? SO is driving me nuts sometimes and I am wondering if it's something or "just" hearing issues or ADD issues or ???? I'm frustrated with the situation and worried that I'll miss the signs because I'll be in denial by attributing it to other things. I mean - who wants to believe their SO has dementia?? Ugh, I'm sorry for all of you in that boat. I feel stressed just thinking about the possibility of it.
Does it MATTER if you miss the signs?
Because what can be DONE about the signs, and what can be done if the worst happens?
NOTHING.
First of all. Join the crowd here.
I am 82. My partner is 84. We BOTH have hearing issues. He wears an aid SOMETIMES.
I wear one NEVER because it's my feeling I still hear a good deal more than I wish to.
We live independently. Active. Foster our dog, walk, garden, repairs on the building, cleaning cooking, shopping, etc.
There are things we are giving up and have given up. For me driving. For him driving at night (and he is still the BEST driver I have ever known).
BUT BUT BUT. Yes. We are getting forgetful. And we are doing the "I TOLD you that yesterday". "NO, you DIDN'T". "Yes, I DID, and you RESPONDED, and this is what you SAID."
And the "Yes, as we discussed yesterday, I did get the soup and I put it here rather than the usual there because...and I MEANT to put it there" and the "You put the oil in the refrigerator". And on and on and on it goes. Yes, we can still spell Forum backwards; yes we can still draw a clock; yes, we can still identify a tiger, a rhino and a giraffe. BUT.............
I will be honest with you as we have been honest with ONE ANOTHER. Some times we think the other is losing it. I mean, really, we do.
The other "elder" I listen to a lot on Forum is Elizabeth. I think it's ElizabethAK (but of course who can remember). She and partner are older than we are and are facing it down still independent as well.
I read my own writing here sometimes and the spelling and words make me question MYSELF. Someone brought me up on writing "fare" rather than "fair" the other day and I looked and thought "Wow. Another instance of losing it.".
You can write me PM if you wish but I suspect you and I are in the same place. "SUSPECTING". And it's scary enough that we all start WATCHING, WONDERING, WORRYING.
But woman??? What can we do about it.
I can't tell you how happy I am you brought this up. Or AM I? Hee hee.
He is also a bit on the nerodivergent side of life, so I'm always watching for signs of dementia. He looses something, my mind goes to " oh, boy here we go"
After he retired, he had about a year where I was sure, he might have dementia but it was mostly him adjusting to retirement, retirement depression, and covid lock down , all at the same time.
Now he is pretty much the same goof ball he has always been. 😄
Id say educate yourself as much as you can about all dementias, be aware but not hyper aware.
Also I would suggest that you involve yourself in things he does, for example hubby pays the bills, so I'm learning much more about are bills and when and if they are being paid to watch out for signs that there is cognitive decline I might see them, and I need to be more proactive anyways
I would suggest be aware, but not hyper aware.
I also ironed out some more personal issues we had earlier on in his retirement, he became a bit to "manly" I guess is a gentle way to put it. He had to learn that we are a team, he needed to learn that anyways, but I needed to have more control over things, Incase he does get dementia. Now we are a team that compromise and he knows there is no arguing that anymore!
Best of luck
Are you or someone you know having problems seeing things correctly? Or coordinating visual and spatial information?
A person with dementia may have problems with vision, depth perception and movement. They may have challenges with finding their way around their environment or placing items on a table. Sometimes dementia can be the cause of these issues, and it's important to see a doctor and an eye specialist to get everything checked out.
If you are concerned about any of these signs, the next step is to talk to your doctor. Only a qualified health-care provider, after multiple assessments and tests, can confirm whether you or someone you know has dementia.
See my above, Lea.
Sign 1: Memory changes that affect day-to-day abilities
Are you, or the person you know, forgetting things often or struggling to retain new information?
It's normal to occasionally forget appointments, colleagues’ names or a friend’s phone number only to remember them a short while later. However, a person living with dementia may forget things more often or may have difficulty recalling information that has recently been learned.
Sign 2: Difficulty doing familiar tasks
Are you, or the person you know, forgetting how to do a typical routine or task, such as preparing a meal or getting dressed?
Busy people can be so distracted from time to time that they may forget to serve part of a meal, only to remember about it later. However, a person living with dementia may have trouble completing tasks that have been familiar to them all their lives, such as preparing a meal or playing a game.
Sign 3: Changes in language and communication
Are you, or the person you know, forgetting words or substituting words that don’t fit into a conversation?
Anyone can have trouble finding the right word to express what they want to say. However, a person living with dementia may forget simple words or may substitute words making that person hard to understand.
Sign 4: Disorientation in time and place
Are you, or the person you know, having problems knowing what day of the week it is or getting lost in a familiar place?
Have you ever forgotten what day of the week it is or can't remember why you went into your bedroom? It happens to all of us. However, people living with dementia can become lost on their own street, not knowing how they got there or how to get home.
Sign 5: Impaired judgment
Are you, or the person you know, not recognizing something that can put health and safety at risk?
From time to time, people may make bad decisions such as putting off seeing a doctor when they are not feeling well. However, a person living with dementia may experience changes in judgment or decision-making, such as not recognizing a medical problem that needs attention or wearing heavy clothing on a hot day.
Sign 6: Problems with abstract thinking
Are you, or the person you know, having problems understanding what numbers and symbols mean?
From time to time, people may have difficulty with tasks that require abstract thinking, such managing finances. However, someone living with dementia may have challenges understanding what numbers are and how they are used.
Sign 7: Misplacing things
Are you, or the person you know, putting things in places where they shouldn't be?
Anyone can temporarily misplace a wallet or keys. However, a person living with dementia may put things in inappropriate places. For example, a remote in the refrigerator.
Sign 8: Changes in mood, personality and behaviour
Are you, or the person you know, exhibiting severe changes in mood, personality or behaviour?
Sometimes people feel sad and moody, or experience changes in their behaviour. But a person living with dementia may experience more severe changes. For example, they may quickly become tearful or upset for no obvious reason. They may be confused, fearful, suspicious and withdraw from others. They may act differently from what is normal for them.
Sign 9: Loss of initiative
Are you, or the person you know, losing interest in friends, family and favourite activities?
It's normal to lose interest in housework, business activities or social obligations, but most people regain their initiative. However, a person living with dementia may become passive and disinterested. They may need cues and prompts to become involved.
Continued......
Hubby has always been the absent-minded professor all of his life. Lately hubby is not as focus. But then neither am I, and now I am wondering if he is thinking the same about me as I am better typing out my thoughts than saying them now :)
I keep telling myself not to snarl, nag, complain, or start a fight because I didn't do that with my parents with their forgetfulness, so I need to have more patience with hubby who is still brilliant with finances, and could do his part-time job in his sleep. Guess I am just scared.