My mother who is 88 lives with me and has not been diagnosed with Dementia or Alzheimers. However, I have noticed that lately she is very sleepy during the day and when awake is very confused about what time of day it is. This thinking persists even when I remind her of what the time is. Most of her memory and living skills seem to be fairly intact, although she loses things frequently. She has an annual in June, where I would like her to bring it up, but when I mentioned this she gets real defensive. How does a caregiver bring something to physician attention without the patient consent?
My mom was never diagnosed with dementia, but she had no short-term memory and lost a lot of her reasoning power and initiative. But she was able to live in independent living (with a lot of help from me) until she was almost 98.
When she went to the doctor, she'd always downplay any issues, partly from memory loss and partly because that's what a lot of old timers do (show timing). I always went in with her and would chime in and say, "Now mom, remember when you didn't feel good..." or whatever. I also would give the receptionist a note for the doctor to read prior to her appointment about things to cover with mom. It worked well. Good luck and keep us posted.
It's nice that you are so considerate about your mom getting defensive, but, it seems to me that seniors are often defensive and maybe somewhat difficult. I wonder if that is just the way it is. I have found that I don't tiptoe as much as I used to, but, just try to be reasonable about things. To me, sometimes people just have to accept things, even if they are our parents. I learned that them getting annoyed over me doing something to help them, will just have to be okay. They have gotten over it and later all was well. lol
Have your Mom's primary doctor check what medicine your Mom is taking. So many meds can cause on to be very sleepy, thus napping on and off during the day. For me it was my blood pressure pills, boy those really had zoned me out until the doctor found a dosage that was good to use.
If you are the Medical Power of Attorney, you can give permission to the caregiver to bring up this issue with the doctor. I allowed my Dad's regular caregiver to speak on my behalf and if she, herself, had noticed anything out of sorts.
That way when she goes to the doctor the Doc will know what is going on.
I did this with my mil. Her behaviour was getting erratic. We share the same doctor, so when I was in getting my annual, I told him about my concerns. He followed up with her on her next visit, without giving me away as it were.