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I have a sister that decided to drive across the US to live with a cousin in Oregon. She made it as far as New Mexico where she decided to step out of her car while driving and suffered facial fractures and other minor injuries. She was transported to a hospital where she was treated and then diagnosed to have dementia. She has no home at this point because the cousin she was going to live with has said she can no longer live with her. My sister is basically homeless at this point. I cannot be responsible for her as I am 70 yrs old, retired and on a fixed income with very few resources living in Alaska. Does anyone know what the legal process is concerning this? I know what the process is in Florida in that the hospital must contact the court to have an advocate appointed to deal with all of the processes.

Akgurl1: Speak with the hospital's social worker.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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The quick answer:

* Hire an attorney - (in her state)
* Contact Medicaid or whatever government health care she has.

* If you cannot manage your sister's care, then do not. You will exhaust yourself - and beyond.

* Sounds excellent to investigate having an advocate appointed.

* Never use your owns financial resources.

* If you feel 'guilt-y' get into short term therapy to deal with yourself.

I would support you to do what you need to do for yourself (keep yourself healthy and have a quality life as you can / do). Whatever happens to your sister, she will continue to go 'downhill' or do what she does. There is 'no bandaid' or anything you can say to change / manage her life-style to make it better. It sounds like you already know this.

If it were me,
- I would get an attorney (some are pro-bono)
- call Adult Protective Services - see what they recommend / say
- Contact / talk to hospital administrator or social worker. Find out what their legal responsibility is.

Gena / Touch Matters
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Reply to TouchMatters
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Good Morning,

Usually this situation would be considered an "unsafe discharge". The hospital Social Worker along with a one-hour "free consultation" with an Elder Attorney would be a good start.

Everything usually comes down to $$$. A lot of places today you can go right online and do a virtual tour. Your loved one will have to have an assessment to see where she is at; her baseline.

I would contact "A Place for Mom" after the assessment is done and see if there are any Medicaid places anywhere. Is there anyone of the "next generation" niece or nephew that could handle this and act as a liaison.

On a positive note, New Mexico has a lower cost of living than the rest of the U.S. I realize Mexico (not to be confused with New Mexico) has much better care for the elderly and usually if a person just has S.S. then can find good health care if they are close to Guadalajara; close to a major City.

If you go on chatgpt.com you can find out a lot of info. This is a nationwide problem. I had to move with my mother from the Northeast to the South to afford a place for mother with the services that she needed.

It's going to take some work and many phone calls but you need the professionals to help you. But I think someone of the next generation needs to get on a plane to assist this loved one to get settled.

Every State is different with Medicaid, but I have seen a lot of videos in "Mexico" again not to be confused with New Mexico as far as quality care for a low income. In all honesty, I would think about your own situation, if something were to turn up as I did when I turned 60.

Don't panic, there is always an answer. There may be a move involved and with the right medication, things may simmer down. I know it's hard every family goes through this.

I hope I was of some help...
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Reply to Ireland
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PeggySue2020 Aug 8, 2024
A place for mom only exists for profit. The best way to get them to stop calling u is to say you need help for Medicaid.
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Boy, your family is spread all over the place. As said, talk to the SW put in charge of sister. Tell them neither the sister who planned on taking her in and you cannot care for her. She will need to be a ward of the state. It would be hard to get her care in Oregon or Alaska since she is not a resident. I personally would not want to go thru all that paperwork and trying to get her placed. Let the State of NM do it. It will go much faster.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Speak with hospital social workers to tell them the facts here. They can contact APS and place your sister. She will almost certainly be placed where she is currently and it will take one smart cookie of a Fiduciary to clear up all this mess. Simple tell people you are yourself a senior and very limited in income and abilities to handle any of this. I am assuming there is simply no family other than the other sister. I would not become involved. I to be honest cannot imagine how this could be handled other than legally by the state.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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If she is in the hospital still you talk to the Social Worker and inform them that there are no family members that are able to take on the responsibility of caring for her.
They will get a Judge to appoint a Guardian and from that point all her care, medical decisions will be made by the Guardian.
They may try to coerce or "browbeat" family members into taking Guardianship. Stick to your guns if you can not manage this they have to find another way.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Geaton777 Aug 1, 2024
Grandma, I'm not sure if when a guardianship case is brought by social services that the judge would then insist on a family member doing it. A judge cannot force anyone to be a guardian against their will. This is why family needs to pursue (and pay for) guardianship on their own.
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