I get depressed anticipating being around my family and then afterwards I get into a big funk reliving the day. I'm thinking this year I am going to skip it altogether. But am wondering if there are others out there who feel as strongly about this as I do and how do you handle it.
Let me add that I do strongly believe in God and think sometimes that is why I hate Christmas so much cause it's so commercial and the ads on t.v. and the Christmas movies make me want to gag.
Gradually, I realized all the shopping, card writing, and hub-ub was keeping me from focusing on Jesus.
In 332 AD, Pope Julius I declared the birth of Christ would be celebrated on December 25th, a day that had connections with Saturnalia and the birth of Roman god Mithras. History, though, indicates Jesus Christ was likely born in the spring when shepards would be grazing their sheep. This connection to Pagan holidays, general aversion to merrymaking, plus the discomfort with the growing materialism surrounding the way Christmas was celebrated led strict Christians, especially in the New England Colonies, to discourage or even forbid its practice.
It wasn’t until songs and books (think Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol, and ‘Twas the night before Christmas...”) popularized it for American family culture that it actually became a federal holiday in the 1870s. Food for thought.
History aside, I wish everyone a blessed and beautiful, stress-free Christmas.
p.s. Very much believe in God...
All 3 of us "kids" were born Christmas week.3 years ago now,on my 55th Birthday,my dear Mother died.She tried so hard to hold on for Christmas and did,but then died hours later,so I have a lot of mixed emotions about Christmas time.Mother joined her loved ones,but I lost her and nothing,especially the holidays are the same.
Am usually ready for it to all be over with too, by the time it's over with.
The other day I snapped a picture that I want to frame. The two babies, standing in the glow of the Christmas tree, their silhouettes. Something I want to always be able to look on in the wonder they were able to see in it.
Been fortunate that none of my Christmas memories include the loss of a beloved family member, or other sadness.
One cannot ever know what a word or sentence can do to someone who is bi-polar in any way.
I'm bi-polar and didn't realize it until I thought I would have a nervous breakdown. Then I found out depression runs on Mom's side of our family.
You enjoy your holidays and just keep in mind that someone on this board can be on the edge of a life or death decision.
People will come.
The facts are fearsome, and the feelings feel like facts but they aren't. Feelings aren't facts. But, the self pity, anger, resentments, loss of desire to move ahead, is all on me, and is all my own doing. Self medication with booze, or food, or whatever is harmful, is not the answer. I go for long walks, i do the gym, i sit and stare at the uplifting youtube animal videos till i am crying tears of joy.
Because I was a juvenile, I HAD to go to her house for Christmas. She was a drunk, a Narcissist and a bully.
As an adult, living now just a few hours away, I went to her house every Christmas, but hated it. It wasn’t until she was riddled with dementia that I didn’t feel intimidated by her anymore.
She passed in August and we just got her ashes back last month. We buried her in November.
I don’t have any family left, except my estranged thieving sister. I wasn’t invited to her house and wouldn’t go anyway.
Church at midnight to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas, a frozen pizza, a glass of vino, and a nice bubble bath. I bought myself a 23 and Me kit to see if I can find some extended family. That will be exciting waiting for the results. Wish me luck. It’s lonely and depressing and I feel I have no place to fit in now that everyone is gone.
I know that’s not sound advice, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone with your feelings.
Peace and Gods blessings.
Every year i save about $ 5-10 a month and buy some gifts for people who are alone. I find them thru lower income housing or rental units. I give them to agents to take so i can remain anonymous.
During festivities i can think about those people who are forgotten at christmas.
”everyone” thinks of kids but i like to think of lonely adults.
Sanata...God..the church?? All kind of scary to me . I am kidding here, kind of, but just think of what that does to the minds of kids. When my mother told me that the tooth fairy and santa are not real, i lost complete faith in her. She had been lying to me all of my young life and i felt shattered. The easter bunny too. My parents did such a great job at all of that stuff for us girls. It was magical.
I am an agnostic, and not ashamed to say so. But, the one good thing about the holidays is that we can all go out of our way, and try to lift the spirits of others.
It gives us an excuse to care more and to meet up with family, if we so desire. I feel very against forced meetings and forced giving. Chopping down trees for 5 days is a sin to me. The junk that we buy is insane and ruining our planet. We must take back our world and stopping the constant making of and buying basically garbage that we do not need, is where to begin. I say-boycott buying anything at this holiday and just help others in need with food and loving warmth. Go to an animal shelter and help out. Adopt a dog or cat.
I am glad that some good happens over this period, and some people care for those less fortunate, that is wonderful, but is this a feeling that we should only foster once a year? Some say that it is a celebration of Jesus's birthday, well, I now know that that is far from true, it is nowhere in the bible and God say's that we should not add to, or take away from, his word, so that for me, actually makes it a sin. Some say, well, it's nice to get together with family and friends and show love and goodwill - again, do you only do this on one day of the year?
I've realised that I don't need someone telling me what I have to do on one particular day of the year to show me that I need to have a good heart and be kind and helpful to others. I am extremely happy with absolutely no christmas in my life, and anyone else can be too.
a) It actually has pagan origins, so it isn't what people assume it to be (i.e., all the "reason for the season" hype).
b) The Bible doesn't command us to celebrate it, and in fact one of the Gospels doesn't even include this time of Christ's life or birth.
c) It is overcommercialized, as everyone knows. As a friend says, it's the "ultimate celebration of retail capitalism".
d) I believe my biggest frustration with it is that the commercial aspect goes on for several months. I've even seen some signs of it at the end of September.
Jane
Be kind to yourself, to others and walk the walk of love.
I was the one who braved the stores looking for gifts, stressing out what to get each person. I was the one who wrapped the gifts but first I had to go out and get the wrapping paper and bows. I was the one who bundled the gifts to stand in line at the post office.
I was the one who baked the holiday cookies thus giving bags of cookies to all the relatives we visited on our trip back to visit both sides of the family. That was tray after tray after tray of cookies made from scratch.
I was the one who decorated the house for the Christmas season. Hubby's job was to go out and buy a Christmas tree off a lot and bring it home for me to decorate.
Then hubby wondered why I was so darn tired on Christmas Day. I was just so relieved when Christmas was finally over.... oh wait, I still had to take down the Christmas tree and the house decorations.
And write out thank you notes [this was before one could text a thank you].
Things are a BIT different...