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Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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Some time back my wife’s doctor complimented me on how well I try to take care of my wife. The doctor went on to say in a loud angry voice “What the heck is wrong with some people?! It’s in their wedding vows. Take care of each other!!”
Sure enough—-it’s in our vows. For better or worse and that’s the way it will be for us. Til death do us part!
If you don’t love your wife, at least show her some respect and divorce her before getting with someone else.
Your profile says that you're caring for your wife, and are looking for a relationship with another woman. I'm going to try and not be judgmental here, but if you're not happy with your wife or life, why don't you file for a divorce before you bring another woman into your situation. Don't you think that your wife deserves at least that much? I know it's hard being a caregiver. I was one for my husband for many many years, and not once did I ever want to seek the companionship of another man, as I meant what I said in my marriage vows. Instead I sought out a local caregiver support group, that I was able to share my struggles with, and that gave me the support I needed to carry on. I also made sure that I was getting out with my female friends on a regular basis to do fun things that I enjoy. So perhaps you may want to try those ideas instead of seeking another women's company. That is until you get that divorce anyway.
As I said we have had similar threads. One that I remember was the spouse was in a facility with Dementia. Didn't even know the spouse. In this instance the majority of the members felt that having a relationship with the opposite sex was OK. Because, the spouse in the facility was there bodily but not mentally.
The other poster was a man who wrote his post like he was on a dating site. His wife was still living in the same house. The majority of the members, from what I remember, thought it would be wrong to seek other woman out. His wife had physical problems but mentally was there. I think I responded that she would know what he was doing and that wasn't fair to her.
This conversation will go in two directions. Those who are in favor of you finding a lady friend and those who will remind you that you are married.
If you are tired of being a caregiver, you can consider placing her in a facility, or hiring a caregiver for you to get a break. Have you considered a divorce? Why stay married if your heart is no longer with your wife? Relationships change when a person develops health issues.
Obviously, you aren’t coping well with this situation. I do realize that it is extremely difficult. I am sure that you miss who she used to be. You’re lonely and that is certainly understandable.
Have you considered speaking with a therapist to discuss your feelings?
We r a forum of Caregivers sharing our experiences. Most of us r women but I doubt any of us are looking for any relationships because our days are tied up with caring for someone.
We have had this type of thread before. Your going to have members reminding u of your vows.
You meet people the way people have met for millennia or you meet on line. You will get a variety of responses in 2 camps on this. 1) You are married and should not be looking for a relationship with other women. Period, end of comment or 2) The woman you care for is no longer the woman you married and you are entitled to search out companionship. Support Groups are a great way to meet people going through the same thing you are. They offer emotional support, friendship and if a friendship evolves to something more that is between two adults.
If you alone are caring for your spouse it might be time to have caregivers come in at least 2 or 3 days a week. With help in you can get out and get involved in a support group or a Senior Center and get involved with programs there. Volunteering is also a great way to meet people and get involved with something you feel strongly about.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Sure enough—-it’s in our vows. For better or worse and that’s the way it will be for us. Til death do us part!
If you don’t love your wife, at least show her some respect and divorce her before getting with someone else.
I know it's hard being a caregiver. I was one for my husband for many many years, and not once did I ever want to seek the companionship of another man, as I meant what I said in my marriage vows.
Instead I sought out a local caregiver support group, that I was able to share my struggles with, and that gave me the support I needed to carry on. I also made sure that I was getting out with my female friends on a regular basis to do fun things that I enjoy.
So perhaps you may want to try those ideas instead of seeking another women's company. That is until you get that divorce anyway.
The other poster was a man who wrote his post like he was on a dating site. His wife was still living in the same house. The majority of the members, from what I remember, thought it would be wrong to seek other woman out. His wife had physical problems but mentally was there. I think I responded that she would know what he was doing and that wasn't fair to her.
If you are tired of being a caregiver, you can consider placing her in a facility, or hiring a caregiver for you to get a break. Have you considered a divorce? Why stay married if your heart is no longer with your wife? Relationships change when a person develops health issues.
Obviously, you aren’t coping well with this situation. I do realize that it is extremely difficult. I am sure that you miss who she used to be. You’re lonely and that is certainly understandable.
Have you considered speaking with a therapist to discuss your feelings?
We have had this type of thread before. Your going to have members reminding u of your vows.
You will get a variety of responses in 2 camps on this.
1) You are married and should not be looking for a relationship with other women. Period, end of comment
or
2) The woman you care for is no longer the woman you married and you are entitled to search out companionship.
Support Groups are a great way to meet people going through the same thing you are. They offer emotional support, friendship and if a friendship evolves to something more that is between two adults.
If you alone are caring for your spouse it might be time to have caregivers come in at least 2 or 3 days a week. With help in you can get out and get involved in a support group or a Senior Center and get involved with programs there. Volunteering is also a great way to meet people and get involved with something you feel strongly about.