Im live in caregiver for a elderly couple with dementia,I get little breaks during the day long enough to walk my dog, no days off.The lady is up like a dozen times all during the night so i get little to no sleep, The man requires less care from me but i still do alot for him There son pays me $3,600 per month but i wonder if thats enough ?
You also need to pay your taxes (if) they are taking out deductions.
They 'should' be taking out deductions and providing you with a W-2 - tax form?
Are you getting social security? worker's compensation? vacation?
You need to have everything in writing and both parties agree to the arrangements.
Legally, if you are a 'live-in' you are an employee and there are clear tax rules they must follow, i.e. , breaks, time off, etc.
You may need to see an attorney or go to the law library and ask about independent contractors and live-in caregivers. I researched this extensively.
If you want to stay for whatever reasons, do not be afraid to ask for what you want, esp 'off-time' so you can sleep and days off.
Keep good records.
If you are not happy, start looking for another position.
If you get little to no sleep, why are you there? Why are you allowing yourself to be treated like this?
You need to be clear on what you want / what your needs are.
Get everything in writing.
Talk to other caregivers.
Contact a caregiver agency.
You need to value yourself. If you do not, others will not.
Figure out what you want and make decisions in your best interest.
Certainly, tell the couple and the son that you are OFF DUTY 11pm-7am or whatever hours you decide upon. NO ONE legally can be 'on call' 24/7.
If you allow this, then you suffer the consequences.
Be clear on what you want.
Have someone help you write an 'Agreement.'
Realize you can negotiate. Do not fear asking for what you want.
Present an agreement - to discuss and when finalized, both parties sign it.
It can be nullified at any time.
First thing, tell them you need / want two days off each week.
They will need to find a caregiver to fill those two days.
This will give you some time to look for other work opportunities.
If you do not speak up for yourself, others will take advantage of you - as they appear to have done already. If you are afraid for any reasons (legal status in this country, other concerns-address them).
Gena / Touch Matters
If the OP is under-the-table and paid in cash she can't sue for anything. She gets paid $3,600 a month. If there's no taxes getting paid on that the IRS will come after her. If she tries to get cute with her employer and threaten a lawsuit, all they have to do is claim they have no idea what she's talking about because if they literally pay her with the envelope system in cash, there's no paper trail or proof that she even works for them.
Now $3,600 a month has to be kept somewhere. So unless she's keeping it stuffed in the matress, it's in a bank. Like I said, if she tries to get cute with her employer and make lawsuit threats, they can easily put her on the radar of the IRS and or ICE if she's illegal. I certainly would if someone ever made a threat like that to me under such circumstances.
Tell the son he needs to hire someone to give you relief so you can take regularly scheduled days off - you determine what that is for you, one day a week, two days? What days would those be?
or you need 4 hours break on some days, with someone to come in and help or take over so you can just get outside, or take a nap. You can't be at your best for this couple if you are so exhausted mentally and physically.
I was looking into this for my mom but that is not cheap.
you may look at having your hour's reduce to save your sanity, burnout, and stress level. Your health will suffer.
see if the family can have PCP prescribe night time medication.
Depending are where you live, room and board can have a significant value. In today’s economy that is easily worth 40k/yr. Or more and as a care giver you are lucky if you actually work 6hrs a day. The only caveat is you need to be available when work calls. So the ideal caregiver would have personal activities they can do at home even side jobs are possible.
consider a pilot as a similar job most think they are well paid but let me draw similarities. Pilots only get paid for wheels up time. They are even are limited to 100hrs/mo. But they still need to do flight planning and preflight technically with no pay and are on call 24hrs a day. The also get rooms and meals paid when on standby Just like a care giver.
so whatever do you decide to pay consider all the unpaid benefits you are giving in addition to the salary for what amounts to a part-time job
You don't have to work for these people. You don't deserve more money than what you're getting for an under-the-table job with free room and board. You agreed to it. If it's not working for you move on. Get another job, start paying for rent, utilities, food, and health insurance. That $3,600 a month tax and bill free will seem like a lot when you're living in the real world where nothing is free.
Also, I think you would be wise to document for them what is involved for their parents' care. If you do not tell them the assumption on their part will be that all is manageable, fair and copacetic.
Your service is very valuable. Do not be afraid to ask for fair compensation and some help. It is not reasonable to expect one person to serve the needs for 2 dependent people 24/7.
Your “free” rent is what it would cost to rent a room. Around here that’s 1000 a month.
I was up a lot at night with care for my father who was up a lot- circling his house. He lives in a guest house on our property. I sought to limit this anxious behavior (he has late stage dementia) and he has been much better on a sleeping/anti anxiety med. A very low dose went a long way to settling his ‘out there’ behavior. That may be something to consider for the wife. It was hard for me to commit as my dad is very anti med. that behavior can be seen as mental pain over physical pain with dementia.
Given that, and ignoring my opinion, if you are doing this then it is up to you to ask for the salary you feel is deserved. It will be up to the family whether or not they can afford it, and whether or not they continue to have you do this work, or decide to hire another.
I wish you the best.
Might be time to find another job, where you can actually still have a life and get the much needed sleep we all need.
There is too little information provided in your post to tell you if it is enough.
Are you a family member? If you are living on premise do you have a lease agreement for an exchange of service? I strongly suggest your have a private care contract established for the begining of the year if you do not have one currently. To many variables that can lead you to being homeless and jobless if you do not.