I live with my mother, who has advancing dementia and the most unreal, surreal, completely out of nowhere delusions and hallucinations. I could never in my wildest dreams have imagined the things she comes up with. And they are all horrible. My sister and I are building some kind of torture structure in the backyard to kill her in terrible ways. There are people in the house who are going to kill her. My sister puts things in her ears at night so she can't hear. Etc.
In answer to similar questions about how to handle this, many posters have offered suggestions like check for UTI, get her on medication, redirect her and so on. None of these things work. Believe me, I've tried them all. (She is on Seroquel, which probably helps to a degree; who knows how bad it would be without it?) It also doesn't work to try to tell her these things aren't happening to her. I know this, but sometimes I can't stop myself and I lose my patience way too often. At the suggestion of another poster, I'm carrying a worry stone, in my case a small glass heart. Holding onto it for dear life gives me a moment to take a breath and calm myself down when things go completely off the rails.
I would love to hear from anyone who is dealing with a combative, impossible to redirect LO who is having hallucinations and delusions that go so far beyond the garden variety "somebody stole my purse" that they might as well be from Planet Xenon. In the meantime, I am carrying my worry stone with me at all times.
The main thing you have to do as understand that this is normal and that you need to reinforce to her that you need her. I deal with things like this and much more with my 91 1/2 year old father. It makes him happy when I join in and tell him how much I need him. Reinforce that bond of love. In her own way that's what she's crying for.
Dad takes a low dose of zyprexa at night and it helps. What helps the most is taking time to show love and protection!
Please let us know how your mom continues to do in her new space. I pray she'll feel secure and loved. I can't imagine being a caregiver in a Memory Care unit!
That went on for over a year. Finally got her on Trazadone at night and helped immensely. She was still very paranoid but not as bad. Also added Seroquel in am. That stage seemed like would never end. She was diagnosed 5 years ago. The paranoia lessened about a year and 1/2 ago. It is nowhere near what it used to be. Still sometimes she thinks her food is poisoned but much better than before. Hoping your Mom will pass out of this stage sooner than later. It will pass; many hugs in this difficult time.
You might eventually want to Consider a Nursing Facility for your Own at Home, Peace of Mind.
So as far as anyone going through what you are, the answer is yes. People say one day at a time but living with a person with dementia is like one day running into the next. Always stay on your toes just waiting for the next disaster.
Good luck with your journey. When it’s over you can breathe again.
I try to visit at least five times a week, but it is difficult when not sure if she knows you and she can say rude things. The mom I once knew is gone but will continue to visit.
Many days it is a struggle and I find a lot of similarities with a small child.
i feel your pain
melissa
In any case, we are going to look into a geriatric psychiatrist for her... hoping that there may be some medication that migh alieviate some of her anxiety. Have you guys consulted a specialist like this, or a neurologist? They can try a variety of things pharmacologically that could make continuing to care for your mom at home more workable. We are hoping for a similar outcome over here at our ‘happy’ house.
Good luck, and God bless ~
Andy
How many people live in her house? Maybe part of the problem. Too much stimulant.