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I don't know that you can force someone.  And, even if forcing them worked to some degree, you'll never get full cooperation from someone like this.    And she might even sabotage you so that you won't want her help anymore and then she's in the clear with her conscience.      Truly, in the end, I've found that whether someone cannot help or simply will not help..  the end result is the same and you are alone doing all the work.    You can try telling her what will happen with your mom's care and living situation if she does not start helping, but don't present anything to her which you're not prepared to carry out.    I am so sorry you're in this spot.
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