I have worked for my little lady who has Alzheimer's for over 4 years. She has declined drastically. Her elderly husband still works daily and I'm there 9 1/2 hours a day. I love this little couple and care for the lady like she is my own from head to toe: fix hair, dye hair, nails, toenails, shower 3 times a week. We grocery shop on her good days. I clean and cook. Sometimes I drive her around & listen to her favorite music to change her mood. The problem is, she has become increasingly violent and for an elderly woman is very strong. Last week she slapped me across the face. I know it's the disease but still very upsetting. When she is upset for long periods of time with no explanation, she is usually diagnosed with an infection but her temper is a weekly occurence usually when dressing and showering which I realize can be normal.
I have been offered from a previous employer another caregiving job which as far as money goes, I cant refuse: 29 less hours but $1000 more per month. I have always been and am on excellent terms with this family but the violence (and daily bed wetting) has made me want to leave for a long time. I have read that I shouldn't give excuses for leaving but also feel they need to know the extent of her mood swings and violent behavior. She has taken pics off the wall and thrown them. She has hit the dog. They refuse to medicate her. I reported to the nurse her behavior and nurse is reporting to physician. The money is a huge reason I'm leaving because I have to take care of my own family. My new client has his mind and it has been agreed that I will never have to bathe him.
What is the most painless way to leave a job & why do I feel so bad for leaving them?
I realize that caregivers are replaceable but have developed a relationship with this family.
Tell them there is something you need to tell them. Tell them you are quitting and giving 2 weeks notice. You have been offered a better job. You will work with them to train a new person. Tell them your safety has been at risk and it is now dangerous for you and whoever they hire. Say it is too late but thank you. I'm leaving on such and such a date. You love them but it's time to move on. Stop talking then. Dont blather.
i also would report the abuse of the dog to the proper authorities as well....no animal deserves that either...
I know because I was physically abused by a large older teenager with severe non verbal autism. Personally, I think he had more than autism. I didn’t call 911 after the attack and it was worse than a slap across the face. I was left black and blue.
This young man was my neighbor’s son. I sat with him since he was a toddler. so she could get to her dr appointments, hair appointments, shopping and so forth. After he severely attacked me I had to stop sitting with him.
I agree, a notice does not come before being safe. I have never quit a job without a notice but there are exceptions to every rule. In this case, she is justified in walking out.
After you've left, you could write them a letter detailing the issues you had so the new caregiver could be prepared for them. You sound very caring. Best of luck to you.
Good luck with your new client.
Gr8fuel, I hope you didn't fall for that? No, you can't commit to staying until they find a replacement. You could - if you choose and if it doesn't cost you your better, high-paid job - extend your notice period by another two weeks; but unless your contract says otherwise you should not feel that you have to.
If they know you won't leave until they've got somebody as good or better (sounding likely?) they won't even look, not in earnest. You'll be stuck, and it will be harder to leave, and you'll start believing that you're indispensable and that to "leave them in the lurch" would be an act of wicked cruelty to helpless elders and their devoted children. Either that, or the relationship will turn sour and spoil the good years you've had together.
NOBODY is indispensable. The family will cope. Somebody else needs you now. So be nice, but be firm and give them a formal end date.