What do you do when you loved one has formed a bond with their care giver however you never quite care for them yourself. My moms care giver talks too much and is always butting in our business. I've tried to bring someone else in but my mom doesn't like anyone else. Please help with this one. I've talked to the agency and got someone from another agency who is familiar with this same care giver and they say they had to stop assigning her because of people complaining about the same things I am.
Mom was such a handful when I got her home, that I called this woman who is a CNA, and she has been helping me for over 6 months now. She has become a good friend and is always professional. She is being paid $8/ hour by me. Mom's long term care insurance is about to kick in, and there is enough cash to be able to pay a more worthy wage for all her help.
I consider myself very lucky to have found this person who is so caring and willing to listen to me vent. She is only here 16 hours a week, as that is all I can afford, but will soon be helping out more. Pamela, you are right to distrust your mom's help. She is definitely unprofessional, and taking advantage! You should give her the boot, and just tell your mom she can't work for her anymore, and that you have found her someone else. She'll may even find she likes the new help better. Didn't you say she can't even watch her own TV when the help is there? Good luck!
It's kind of sweet you spent part of your birthday with the one who gave you birth! Hope it will be a precious memory. Happy Birthday to you.
Went to moms house to pay the man who pulls weeds for her. He comes every so often, more less than more now a days. Anyway I went over to take mom the money for him. Mom asked me to pay him, no problem he's been cleaning out her back yard for about 4 years now. He and I talk all the time and he can't figure out why sister and her family don't do anything to assist mom with her wonderful back yard. I already know the answer LAZY!
Upon arriving mom was in her bed and after I'd been there a while, (while the "help" was in the living room watching the other television) mom wanted to go outside to take a look at the garden. Now I didn't mind taking her outside but I only came over to leave the money for the man, not to stay and work. My sonz and I had made plans.
When I got mom up from the bed, her gown was soaked, which had seeped through to the bed. Needless to say I was angry. I marched right into the living room and told the "help" of the events. She said she kept asking my mom if she needed to sit on the pot or if she'd pee'd. I asked her "did you ask her that before or after you turned on the T.V.?" She said she was sorry, and that she is always attentive. I beg to differ but anytime my mom is soaked clear through to the sheet, that is not my definition of attentiveness.
My mom told me not to say anything because the "help" would tell sis. I told mom that sis needs to know herself how soaked mom was. I then told the "help" that I didn't care who she tells, or what she tells her but when I see something out of line it is my place to speak up for my mother. She kept trying to apologize but I'd said what I needed to say and was done with it.
Unfortunately, as I said earlier, it was not my intention to stay at moms house or do any work in the backyard as my sonz and I had plans. Mom kept asking me to stay, but I would not. I did not feel guilty because I've been spending quality time with her gardening.
OK today I go over to taker her some Aveno, which she asked me to pick up. I park a couple houses back and walk up to the front door. Guess what NO T.V. ON THIS TIME. I walked in, went to moms room and there they were, both of them. Oh yeah you best believe that I touched that T.V. to see if it was hold. Nope cold as ice.
I didn't ask my mom what happened about the incident but mom said that I need to be nice to the "help" because she takes good care of her. I reminded my mom that being wet doesn't mean she's being well taken care of and no matter what she says or sis says that I am my own person, and I fear no evil. If I need to say it, it shall be said.
Now mom wanted to to do some more work in the garden today however that was not the reason I went there. I went to take the aveno and that was what I did. I had to refuse to do the work. Then I swear while outside she asked me to go to Jack in the box for her, I said no. Can you believe I get her back in the living room and she says the same darn thing right in front of the "help"....would you go get me the 3 sirloin burger special from Jack in the box. Now I'd already refused to do this xtra work, now I got to go to Jack in the box. OK so I go and they're super busy. I'm in there 20 minutes. I get the darn burgers, run them back by the house, and high tail it out of there. I'm sure the "help" would have loved to tell sis "your sister refused to even go get your mother something to eat". OK so yesterday I took a step forward, and today I took a step backward.
Moral of this story, my phone will not be answered for the next 3 days.