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In looking over your mom’s long list of issues, I didn’t notice dementia. However, I’m going to suggest that you check out Teepa Snow videos on the web. I’ve attached a link where you’ll find some of her top tips. She uses positivity. When an elder refuses to do things, look to see where you are successful with them and do more of that. No one likes to be told what to do.
Listen to Teepas delivery and see if it helps.
My aunt, 92, changes her depends when she needs to, but balks at changing her clothes with her weekend aide. The weekday aide doesnt have a problem. It’s all about timing and communication style with my aunt. Don’t get into a contest of wills.

http://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/04/05/5-top-dementia-care-tips-from-teepa-snow/
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Foleydaughter Mar 2019
Looked at them and bookmarked. Very useful ideas.
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Do you call them diapers to her? If yes, please refer to them as panties, adult diapers is degrading to the wearer.

Is she on any mood stabilizers? I think I would pursue that with her doctor and see if she becomes more compliant.

I have not dealt with this personally, inconsistent was my deal breaker, so I let the professionals handle it.

Someone that has been there will chime in.
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Foleydaughter Mar 2019
I call them Depends. Don't want to say panties or pants because them she won't change Depends
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