He was diagnosed w dementia 7 yrs ago, then Alzheimer's 3 yrs ago. My husband is a very determined individual. A great guy, but not easily redirected. He was always critical of anyone drinking to excess. For the past 2-3 years his limited world seems to revolve around drinking. He sleeps much of the day, everyday. Wakes in the afternoon & drinks until he goes to sleep. He is not mean, but becomes very angry if challenged. I have been told to not buy it or not allow him to have it. Challenging him is a constant battle. I am worn out with the struggle.
However you can water down some drinks as he gets deeper into dementia & always wait for him to ask for it - he will get to a point when he'll start forgetting to ask for it - use it as a marker on how soon he wants it & if he forgets to ask for it or even asking for his second drink may be slower as he gets deeper
Again, just my 2 cents worth. Why 'challenge him' if it's causing YOU such distress? I think you already have enough on your plate, frankly.
Best of luck!
Notice for everyone out there, this is my theory after living my life with a family full of Alcoholics.
My dad was the one with dementia and he ended up in a care home. Sadly, it was hard to diagnose the progression of the dementia due to the alcohol comingling, and the neurologists and other doctors finally gave up and I was tasked with sticking him in a memory care facility. There he rots.
Mom sits at home alone drinking from 7 AM until pass-out. If she calls, I buy it for her because I don't want it on my conscience if she kills someone getting to the store. They will get to the store. They will crawl to the store if need be. When mom couldn't walk, dad dragged her out to the car and shoved her in behind the wheel to take him to the store and get his wine.
Don't put this on the poster. There probably is no solution. Husband will end up unable to live at home, but it will NOT be her fault.
I dealt with a terminally ill brother who was also addicted to heroin. You’re right. It it exhausting to have additional problems on top of an illness. My brother died from Hepatitis C. He also had really bad diabetes.
The suggestions to dilute the booze might be a good way to start. I’d also speak to an addiction counselor about the effects of withdrawal. I would also speak to his doctor to know about how the alcohol is effecting his ALZ.
Alcohol withdrawals can be brutal and dangerous if not done properly. You don’t mention if you feel he is an alcoholic, so I don’t want to jump the gun here. If he has been drinking heavily for years I’d be concerned.
I suspect he is drowning his sorrows in much the same way as my brother was escaping his pain with drugs.
My brother had been in recovery from heroin, then came a horrendous motorcycle accident where he nearly died. He was in severe pain and I guess you can figure out the rest. Yeah, he dove back into drugs.
I also feel after I set him up on hospice and he started on OxyContin it through him back into his dependency on drugs. It’s complicated. Not a simple thing to deal with and people need to understand that in order to reach out in love.
Broke my heart. Life is a struggle. People cope in destructive ways. I’m truly sorry for your pain. It’s devastating to watch people self destruct. At the same time, I get it. It’s a vicious cycle that is extremely hard to break. It’s hard for the patient and hard for the family. I empathize with both.
Try to reach out in a supportive way. No one truly wants to be an alcoholic or drug addict. Try very hard not to judge. I know there are tons of emotions involved. I lived it with my brother. Unfortunately, I have lost a nephew to suicide because he couldn’t beat an alcohol and cocaine habit. I’ve lost a few friends too. None that I would refer to as ‘low lifes.’ They were emotionally struggling with life situations. I hope that I am explaining this well. It’s a very sensitive topic for me.
I wish you and your father well. Hugs!