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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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let the caregivers give and do their job; your role is to be the loving and supporting family member, spouse, sibling, et al, and to be their advocate . This way your valuable time to spend with him loving, friendship, support. I’m finding out, it is tough to do both 24/7…indefinitely.. maybe now is the time for me to listen..
Thanks, Oldstew for providing all the answers I asked for, below. I understand so much more now. You, as caregiver spouse just MUST be able to get some rest. I would take this concern to his MD because you won't be long able to continue caregiving if your hubby is up raising the kitchen all night while you try to recover from your daylong caregiving with a bit of shuteye.
The problem here, of course is manifold. If too strong a med is given to someone suffering some dementia it can complicate things enormously. Some meds have the opposite effect wanted, some cause falls, and etc.
I am hoping, after consult with hubby's doc, there is something light that can help him sleep. For my partner one half a low dose benadryl does it. For me, benadryl gives restless legs and sleeplessness. Go figure.
Afraid you are in for some experimentation to figure what will safely work. Eventually, if things progress, I know that you know that you will be limited in being able to be 24/7 caregiver. I sure do wish you good luck and hope you'll update us.
Discuss this with your husbands doctor. Medications that result aiding sleep can also create a fall risk if the person does get out of bed. And some result in what I call "brain fog" and the last thing a person with dementia needs is more "brain fog" Is your husband in a hospital Bed? **If so you can try bed rails (I know not allowed in facilities but can be used in home) **Placing pool noodles of pillows under the sheet along his side might make it more difficult for him to get out of bed. **If in a Hospital bed you can also try lowering the bed so it is more difficult for him to get out of. **Trying to keep him active during the day may result in him sleeping better, longer. **Placing a door alarm (looks like a wedge door stop) by the door would alert you if he got out of bed and opened the door.
Honestly I would be less worried about eating and moving furniture than I would be concerned that he would walk out of the house on some "quest".
Due to your fragile health it might be time to seriously consider placing him in a facility that can safely meet his needs. You do not need the stress, worry, lack of sleep that goes with being the caregiver of a person with dementia.
Your husbands eating maybe anxiety related. I would not ask but tell the Neurologist ur husband needs something because you are being sleep deprived. Tell him about ur heart attack. It maybe time to place your husband.
Try Baby beativrn music an hour before bed.. or a bit more:
Ensure, 2 scooos if whey protein, ice, frozen berries.. blend it.. it’s a fun desert. I have a Trader Joe’s near me. Frozen mixed berries, frozen fresh fruit..
When my mom was waking up during the night and trying to walk out of the front door, her doctor prescribed Seroquel and Ativan. The wondering at night ceased.
try nature’s aid time release melatonin. Here I am suggesting sleep aids.. yup, I’m the ambien addict. Maybe I should try Xanax as sn alternative. I finally realized I should only take anbuen once I am in bed. I dont wonder so much now. Family has woken me up in the tub. Used to raid the kitchen and didn’t remember. One morning my mouth felt all gritty.. yup, apparently I was eating trailmix then knocked out. I felt like a squirrel that morning. My cheeks were not completely filled, but definitely had trail mix during the night. I have a friend in another country, so I’d call her and fall asleep. I did this multiple times. Do read the warning labels and side effects. Getting off balance and falling can be high risk. I’ve been in this stuff way too long, I feel I can’t sleep without it.. so … think about what is manageable will it actually improve his sleep pattern? Serequil (?) for sundowning, I believe was given to mom… this was a few years ago. ALZ just sucks. Not fun.
In hospitals it is common for patients to get a sleeping tablet every night. It’s also common for older people, who have more trouble in sleeping, whether in hospitals or not. There are several types, some over-the-counter, some prescription. Using the same type every time often means that they stop being so effective. Changing the type every three nights works better, and is less of an addiction risk.
I’m actually surprised that there is so little acknowledgement about how common this is.
Reading some more about the eating problem, it might be worth having a lock put on the fridge, and putting all the ‘goodies’ in the fridge. It’s a real problem if he’s overweight and putting on more, because you won’t be able to handle him – literally.
There's a lot of concern about "safety" of elders with certain meds. I'm old. I understand the dangers of overdose and unwanted side effects. Still, I think it's an individualized thing, and the welfare of the caregiver MUST be considered. There's also the relative physical comfort, peace of mind and appropriate behavior (to the extent possible) of the elder him/herself. I'm basically a reasonable person--well, most of the time--but I can get a bit unbalanced if I'm awake (and in pain) for 2-3 nights in a row.
Speaking for myself, I am more interested in a good night's sleep and a reduction in pain/anxiety than I am in absolute "safety". (At age 86, there's a minimal chance of premature death.) Of course, I don't agree with elders being "drugged into oblivion", which sometimes can occur, but I support the concept of meds at the right time for legitimate reasons. It's a balancing act.
The easy answer is yes, you use what tools you have to make life better for everyone involved.
While it may seem--well--almost abusive to 'drug' a LO into a good night's sleep--think about the poor CG who never really sleeps b/c one ear must be kept open to listen for sounds of wandering feet.
My MIL takes 2 kinds of benzos--Ativan in the daytime, every 4-6 hrs and at whatever dose it requires to keep her from raging. Nighttime is a whopper dose of Xanax and she'll sleep for 14+ hrs.
Of course she says she never, ever sleeps, but enough nights spent with one of the kids in house and watching her, shows that she rarely gets up. Also, since she cannot remember how to attach her oxygen tubing to her CPAP, she gets kind of frantic when she has to reassemble the whole set up.
Without being on benzos, everyone would be miserable.
This would be an individual decision about an individual person each and every single time. Situations are as individual as one's own finger print and they vary accordingly, so we would need much more information:
1. What do you mean by "caregiver". Is this a spouse caring for someone, a home help caregiver? a med tech in a nursing home/ALF/MC? 2. What specific sleep problems (or better said, lack of sleep problems) that the client is experiencing? Is this unable to sleep at all, wakefulness to go to bathroom, agitation, too much sleep during the day? Just exactly what is happening with the client? 3. Who is in charge of medications? MD and spouse/cargiving child, or medical tech in the facility? 4. What is the unwanted result? Are there falls occurring in attempt to get OOB but too sleepy to do so? Is there incontinence due to over medications?
Dependent on the situation and who is in charge (POA, spouse, child, person themselves?) will be the outcome in this situation. For instance: You MAY have the case of an elder who has irratic sleep patterns, is up and roaming, and other spouse is caregiver/unable to get any rest? You MAY have an elder in care you feel is being overmedicated to "keep the peace" at night? You MAY have an MD ordering medications on a PRN basis ("as needed/requested") that is too strong and administered too often by staff; MD may be unaware of unwanted side effects.
Hope you can fill us in a bit, so we can try to help more. Best to you.
I guess I was not clear, sorry. I am his wife and sole caregiver. I have chosen to do this but he eats non stop all day saying he hasn't eaten and then gets up around 11 PM and stuffs his face with everything. Last night he ate 4 large muffins and pretzels. I hide things but I can't hide everything. This is rather new behavior, escalating over the last few months. I want him not to get up to do this as well as not move some furniture around to block doors. Any advice? I am wiped out and even had a small heart attack. Waiting for test results now.
They sure do. The problem is finding something that will work and that doesn't have unwanted side effects (like drowsiness the next day and increased fall risk). And some doctors are reluctant to prescribe sleep aids because they don't take the needs of the caregiver into account.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
let the caregivers give and do their job; your role is to be the loving and supporting family member, spouse, sibling, et al, and to be their advocate .
This way your valuable time to spend with him loving, friendship, support. I’m finding out, it is tough to do both 24/7…indefinitely..
maybe now is the time for me to listen..
I understand so much more now.
You, as caregiver spouse just MUST be able to get some rest.
I would take this concern to his MD because you won't be long able to continue caregiving if your hubby is up raising the kitchen all night while you try to recover from your daylong caregiving with a bit of shuteye.
The problem here, of course is manifold. If too strong a med is given to someone suffering some dementia it can complicate things enormously. Some meds have the opposite effect wanted, some cause falls, and etc.
I am hoping, after consult with hubby's doc, there is something light that can help him sleep. For my partner one half a low dose benadryl does it. For me, benadryl gives restless legs and sleeplessness. Go figure.
Afraid you are in for some experimentation to figure what will safely work.
Eventually, if things progress, I know that you know that you will be limited in being able to be 24/7 caregiver. I sure do wish you good luck and hope you'll update us.
Medications that result aiding sleep can also create a fall risk if the person does get out of bed. And some result in what I call "brain fog" and the last thing a person with dementia needs is more "brain fog"
Is your husband in a hospital Bed?
**If so you can try bed rails (I know not allowed in facilities but can be used in home)
**Placing pool noodles of pillows under the sheet along his side might make it more difficult for him to get out of bed.
**If in a Hospital bed you can also try lowering the bed so it is more difficult for him to get out of.
**Trying to keep him active during the day may result in him sleeping better, longer.
**Placing a door alarm (looks like a wedge door stop) by the door would alert you if he got out of bed and opened the door.
Honestly I would be less worried about eating and moving furniture than I would be concerned that he would walk out of the house on some "quest".
Due to your fragile health it might be time to seriously consider placing him in a facility that can safely meet his needs.
You do not need the stress, worry, lack of sleep that goes with being the caregiver of a person with dementia.
“Any advice? I am wiped out and even had a small heart attack. Waiting for test results now.”
Oldstew, I am so sorry! I hope you can find a good answer to the nighttime wandering AND protect your own health. Thinking of you.
an hour before bed.. or a bit more:
Ensure, 2 scooos if whey protein, ice, frozen berries..
blend it.. it’s a fun desert.
I have a Trader Joe’s near me. Frozen mixed berries, frozen fresh fruit..
I finally realized I should only take anbuen once I am in bed. I dont wonder so much now. Family has woken me up in the tub. Used to raid the kitchen and didn’t remember. One morning my mouth felt all gritty.. yup, apparently I was eating trailmix then knocked out. I felt like a squirrel that morning. My cheeks were not completely filled, but definitely had trail mix during the night. I have a friend in another country, so I’d call her and fall asleep. I did this multiple times.
Do read the warning labels and side effects.
Getting off balance and falling can be high risk.
I’ve been in this stuff way too long, I feel I can’t sleep without it..
so … think about what is manageable will it actually improve his sleep pattern?
Serequil (?) for sundowning, I believe was given to mom… this was a few years ago.
ALZ just sucks. Not fun.
I’m actually surprised that there is so little acknowledgement about how common this is.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/cannabidiol-cbd-what-we-know-and-what-we-dont-2018082414476
Speaking for myself, I am more interested in a good night's sleep and a reduction in pain/anxiety than I am in absolute "safety". (At age 86, there's a minimal chance of premature death.) Of course, I don't agree with elders being "drugged into oblivion", which sometimes can occur, but I support the concept of meds at the right time for legitimate reasons. It's a balancing act.
While it may seem--well--almost abusive to 'drug' a LO into a good night's sleep--think about the poor CG who never really sleeps b/c one ear must be kept open to listen for sounds of wandering feet.
My MIL takes 2 kinds of benzos--Ativan in the daytime, every 4-6 hrs and at whatever dose it requires to keep her from raging. Nighttime is a whopper dose of Xanax and she'll sleep for 14+ hrs.
Of course she says she never, ever sleeps, but enough nights spent with one of the kids in house and watching her, shows that she rarely gets up. Also, since she cannot remember how to attach her oxygen tubing to her CPAP, she gets kind of frantic when she has to reassemble the whole set up.
Without being on benzos, everyone would be miserable.
Situations are as individual as one's own finger print and they vary accordingly, so we would need much more information:
1. What do you mean by "caregiver". Is this a spouse caring for someone, a home help caregiver? a med tech in a nursing home/ALF/MC?
2. What specific sleep problems (or better said, lack of sleep problems) that the client is experiencing? Is this unable to sleep at all, wakefulness to go to bathroom, agitation, too much sleep during the day? Just exactly what is happening with the client?
3. Who is in charge of medications? MD and spouse/cargiving child, or medical tech in the facility?
4. What is the unwanted result?
Are there falls occurring in attempt to get OOB but too sleepy to do so?
Is there incontinence due to over medications?
Dependent on the situation and who is in charge (POA, spouse, child, person themselves?) will be the outcome in this situation. For instance:
You MAY have the case of an elder who has irratic sleep patterns, is up and roaming, and other spouse is caregiver/unable to get any rest?
You MAY have an elder in care you feel is being overmedicated to "keep the peace" at night?
You MAY have an MD ordering medications on a PRN basis ("as needed/requested") that is too strong and administered too often by staff; MD may be unaware of unwanted side effects.
Hope you can fill us in a bit, so we can try to help more.
Best to you.