MIL is in assisted living. Early this evening we rc'd a call from a nurse there who said my MIL came to her saying her breast was hurting. The nurse took a look at it and found she had a very large hard lump. Her son, my husband, headed right down and took her to an urgent care clinic, doctor there sent them on to ER. After several tests, etc a doctor came in and told them it is not an infection and he and the other professionals who both examined her and reviewed the tests believe it is cancer. We will get her in to appropriate doctors on Monday if possible. Based on the information the doctor got from my MIL he thinks is is an "aggressive" cancer. The lump is the size of a fist. She had not complained of breast pain prior to this (that we know of). She stopped wearing a bra several months ago because it was irritating an area she had shingles at. They also diagnosed a bladder infection at the ER. She seems to only be concerned with that right now which is not surprising. Hospital said she could stay there or she could go home. Of course we wanted to have her come to our house, but she wants to go back to her place. We did not push her to come here and did not push the C word on her. Just given the limited information at the moment can anyone offer any insight for us. What things will we need to be certain to ask? We will see her tomorrow. BTW ER is a nationally recognized hospital. It is a long way to Monday. Thank you.
If it were me, I would ask again about hospice. I would also ask for a detailed, considered assessment of the pros and cons of the proposed treatment, perhaps asking for quality of life to be prioritised as a factor. Support your husband in remembering that just because treatments are possible it doesn't mean they're necessarily the best option *for your MIL.* The questions to ask are "what happens if..." followed by
we accept this treatment option
we consider other treatment options
we do nothing
I'm very sorry that she has received such a discouraging assessment. How are you and your husband coping?
If your MIL understands the possible side effects and is much happier to be taking medication than facing surgery - which you can quite see she would be - then it's worth trying the Letrozole and seeing what happens. In that case, I'd shift gear and remember that if she struggles with it, or if it's not helping, she can always stop taking it (under medical supervision, of course, not unilaterally).
I'm extremely surprised at what the nurse told you about hospice too. Actually, surprised is a bit of a euphemism - it sounds like hooey. Why not just start again when you see the oncologist?
There is quite a lot of information online - Google "Letrozole in the elderly," otherwise you'll get too much irrelevant stuff. The bone density really isn't a worry so much because it takes years to happen; but I wouldn't dismiss the other side effects just because they're not lethal. The question is how they make her feel, and if the cure is worse than the disease... But, maybe she'll get lucky. Goodness knows she's due some good luck!
Where there's life there's hope isn't a bad attitude if it's keeping your MIL in good spirits. Just don't let it make her doctors think she's all gung-ho for heroics after all. Hope you're all looking after one another, too - this is a rough experience for everyone.
I was on that pill for a couple of years and had to switch to something else, for me it was not user friendly. It made you feel like you were going through menopause all over again big time. Plus other major side effects.
So I am keeping my fingers crossed that if your Mom has those side effects that they are mild for her.
If Mom just cannot handle Letrozole, ask the doctor about Tamoxifen, which is another common pill. Yes, there are side effects but not as difficult.