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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Stopping eating is the last thing from what I have researched and heard. Body filling with fluids is also the beginning of the end. My Mom had 2 strokes 6 years ago, has dementia, doesnt walk, doesnt talk, has major swallowing problems, cannot see, and is incontinent. Shes been like this , absolutely no change in her. I continue to puree her foods, thicken her drinks and feed her teaspoon by teaspoon for 3 hours each morning and 2 hours each late afternoon. I lift her on the toilet holding her up as I bathe her and hoyer her to her recliners and bed. Yes what means the end and how long can I do this? I know I shouldnt get her up on her legs that dont work but she poops on the toilet 3 hours after miralax and it helps the mess. How do you change someone in bed with poop, my mom is like rolling a 5' bag of sand. I can roll part of her and her body isnt all over, I roll her all over and she comes right down over the pillows. End of life? Hummm I wonder, should I be doing this, will I ever have a life? God only knows I love her and she can still kiss me when I ask, loves music , and can laugh when I laugh. Today after a 3 month wait I got an answer she qualifies for medicaid. I am going to get the at-home plan and hope I get many good people to help me, but I wont believe it until I see it.
My mother, 91, has dementia and has started more frequently to get agitated, angry, and fearful even though the doctor has put her on medication. Some days it doesn't work. She is hitting us more and more. Not wanting to hurt her, I just sit there, praying, till she tires of hitting me. She packs almost every night wanting to go "home" to her childhood home(no longer there). During the day she may have a good day, but my husband and I are always watching for her leaving us mentally from a calm state to one where she is quite unmanageable. She still eats well, although it's small portions. From other's experience, are we to expect more of this or is there still more severe management concerns before her food intake changes and she no longer wants to eat? I work during the day, waking up at 5:30 in the morning to unpack, make her breakfast and start her meds. My poor husband takes over until I get home. Her funds were not managed well by another family member so now I have no other option for her care. I love her with all my heart and it pains me to see her this way.
Interesting this topic just came up. I asked our Caregiver just this exact question this morning when she came in. Her response was exactly the same as these responses. Thank you. God reaffirmed the Caregiver.
My husband had a stroke 13 years ago. I spent the first 10 !! years checking on him hourly to see if he was still breathing. That level of vigilance really wore me down. My own doctor explained to me that one day I'll go in his room and he will have passed in his sleep. She said for most doctors (he was a doctor), that would be the preferred way to die. Her explanation helped me de-stress. Somehow I thought my checking and anxiety was keeping him alive. Now, 3 years later, he's sleeping about 22-23 hours a day. To me he doesn't seem nearer to dying than he did right after his stroke. I've been told this might go on and on, or the end might come suddenly. Hospice comes to our home 3 times a week to check his vital signs and clean him and his bed. Having their support has been a huge gift to me and my mental health.
Hello. My husband had Alzheimer, one of the most common forms of dementia. You never can foresee when the real end is coming. I visited my husband together with my daughter on wendayafternoon and on fri eve I went with my female colleague for a small snack to a restaurant in her town, about 15 km = approx 10 miles from the nursing home. They called me around 20.30 hrs telling me he was deteriorating rapidly. I was very surprised as on Wednesday, he ate a large piece of cheese cake and afterwards had a fresh beer, all without problems. I called back to the nursing home to tell that I would not be there in 10 mins, as I was not at home. There was a long silence. Then she said : do no hurry, he just passed away. For many months he was laying in bed, did not speak any longer, but could eat very well. For the rest, it was a living plant. It all depends what part of the brains are hit by the disease at a certain moment. If it are the lungs or the heart, then death can go as fast as within the hour, as was the case with my husband. You can not compare dementia with other diseases where you have a better insight when death can effectively be expected / foreseen. Anyway I wish you a lot of strength as heavy days / months are laying ahead of you. But although I was very sad about his death, I also was relieved because all the suffering was over and done with.
I think what amazes me so much is that there are dementia patients who are bedridden, unresponsive, unable to eat, very thin and yet they linger for months. I know a lady like that and I just don't understand how she is alive.
Then, I hear of healthy people who get dementia and they go straight downhill and are dead within a year. I guess it depends on the cause of the dementia as well as the overall health and any underlying medical conditions.
Omg Cocobel that is exsclty what happ to my Mom. 2 wks ago to b exact. She had a staghorn stone which caused many utis/severe delirium until it was discovered. She was due fof surgery to remove it but did exaclty as you described. Didn't wanna move, stsyed in bed & slept all day & it was the pneumonia that got her. Still so mad @ that lady!!
The brain controls all bodily functions, and as the disease progresses, muscles start to contract, they become bedridden unable to eat and drink as those mechanisms cease to work. Death follows when the respiratory functions cease or heart failure occurs. It is such a horrible disease for loved ones to watch. My mother's anniversary is Jan. 30, 2002, and after 14 yrs. I can still see her lying in bed unable to move.
I don't think there is a clear cut answer, everyone is different. My Mom suffered from dementia and was in assisted living until she kept suffering recurring UTIs and dehydration. She went into a nursing home (I was hoping the PT would make her stronger and enable her to return to assisted living) and passed away 6 months later. I spent time with her every day and watched as she slowly faded, both in spirit and in body. She got weaker, didn't care about anything, wasn't interested in doing anything. Started losing a lot of weight, developed trouble swallowing. Wanted to stay in bed all the time. She was dx with fluid in her lungs and developed pneumonia, and passed away 2 weeks later.
I hope you can discuss this question with a hospice or palliative care helper. They should have information you can read also. Dying is a process and it will be comforting for you to know what to see and look for. Even though you may want to give water, for example, it will interfere with the process towards the last days.
Indicators are weight loss, poor appetite and finally refusing food. As long as she wants liquids, good, but eventually she will refuse even that. My MIL had a history of stroke. She was still at the eating phase, although very small portions, when one more stroke hit her during her afternoon nap. She never woke up and passed that night.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My Mom had 2 strokes 6 years ago, has dementia, doesnt walk, doesnt talk, has major swallowing problems, cannot see, and is incontinent. Shes been like this , absolutely no change in her. I continue to puree her foods, thicken her drinks and feed her teaspoon by teaspoon for 3 hours each morning and 2 hours each late afternoon. I lift her on the toilet holding her up as I bathe her and hoyer her to her recliners and bed. Yes what means the end and how long can I do this? I know I shouldnt get her up on her legs that dont work but she poops on the toilet 3 hours after miralax and it helps the mess. How do you change someone in bed with poop, my mom is like rolling a 5' bag of sand. I can roll part of her and her body isnt all over, I roll her all over and she comes right down over the pillows. End of life? Hummm I wonder, should I be doing this, will I ever have a life? God only knows I love her and she can still kiss me when I ask, loves music , and can laugh when I laugh. Today after a 3 month wait I got an answer she qualifies for medicaid. I am going to get the at-home plan and hope I get many good people to help me, but I wont believe it until I see it.
Then, I hear of healthy people who get dementia and they go straight downhill and are dead within a year. I guess it depends on the cause of the dementia as well as the overall health and any underlying medical conditions.