My father is 87 and has late stage dementia. He lives in an independent living facility and has in home hospice as well as 24/7 caregivers. He still gets out and about within the facility and is quite sociable. However, Dad is absolutely fixated with a woman who works there. It seemed harmless at first, but his obsession has become a problem. He pesters her all day and becomes agitated or worried if he can't see her. The caregivers know to re-direct, but it does little good. Dad is convinced she's his girlfriend and they are going to get married. It's becoming increasingly difficult for this poor woman to do her job with Dad sitting outside her office waiting for her to acknowledge him. How do we get him to leave her alone?
We had a rough couple of months where my father was obsessed with giving an aid some money. We explained that it was against the law and she would lose her job. That was ALL he would talk about for about 3 months.. He would call me constantly and no amount of theraputic fibs or saying no would convince him.
Then like a light being switched, he left that topic and went on to a different person to obsess about.
I'm wondering if there might be some way this woman can move her office to some location your father cannot access? If she must have an office where she is, that's not an option, of course. If he can get to where she works, that's what he's going to do. He truly can't help it. The disease in his brain is in charge.
Has she talked with you about the situation? Or are you trying to get ahead of it, out of concern for what she might do or say to her employer? These facilities often deal with infatuations of this sort, and may have their own ways of coping with ardent oldsters. If she's being harrassed, though, then she and the facility, and you, might have to work something out. I understand you want to keep him where he is, so hope you can avoid having to move him, but that may be the only way to keep him from acting on his compulsion.
So sorry you have to deal with something like this. Dementia doesn't play fair.