Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
You Need a social worker or therapist for support . Sounds Like he has exhausted you . I would try and get him Into a NH - Just a suggestion otherwise you will end up with a heart attack . Do you Know about Narcissists ? They will suck you dry Like a Vampire . You are dealing with a Vampire . I am surprised you have Not considered divorcing Him . You can try Al Anon for some support . He will eventually die . Alcoholics are selfish People - Go to a AA Meeting sometime . I dealt with 2 Of them . Next time he ends up in the Hospital do Not bring him Home ask to speak with a case manager and social worker and Have him Placed in a Facility or On a Psyche ward so he can dry Out . You Can even go to a judge and Have him sectioned where they will Place him a detox for 30 days . You have choices and Options . Use them . There is no winning with a alcoholic or a narcissist . I feel for you get some help for yourself and get back your Life .
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

"He seriously planned his life around getting home"

I know someone whose every action and decision was dictated by alcohol from when they were very young. Alcohol is that bad for some people.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
PeggySue2020 Aug 2023
There is nothing to be done for this now, Lisa. The man should be on hospice if he is not. Of course alcohol will kill him but for the rest of his short life it will keep him happy.
(0)
Report
"it will keep him happy."

I might agree to that. In fact I saw that exact thing with my neighbor. The family permitted alcohol deliveries to the house when their stomach was as big a bean bag chair and the end was near. Why not let them do what they wish at this point? One time as I was going by the beverage store delivery person looked at me with such a guilty look.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Aug 2023
Lisa,

Obviously, you don’t understand the complexity of alcoholism.

It would be inhumane to expect a dying alcoholic to suddenly stop drinking.

If a person is dying with absolutely no chance at all of survival, why would they stop drinking? A doctor wouldn’t even say to stop drinking if someone is dying.

I find it despicable when people who claim to be religious or moral shame and bully others who are struggling with legitimate concerns.

You’re not referring to someone who is having a ‘bad day’ and can work things out. You’re talking about an alcoholic who is ‘dependent’ upon alcohol.

We are merciful to animals when they are suffering at the end of their lives. Shouldn’t we be merciful to human beings as they approach death?

Would you deny a person who had cancer pain meds at the end of their life? I don’t think so. It would be torture for them not to receive morphine.

The same thing applies to an alcoholic. It would be absolutely torturous for them not to drink.

Do you have any idea how withdrawal symptoms affect a person?

I am all for treatment when it is appropriate. I’m all about encouraging an addict to find support and live their life in recovery.

Unfortunately, not everyone achieves this goal due to various reasons. This is why treatment centers don’t ever claim to have a 100 percent success rate.

Nevertheless, these individuals are human beings who deserve to die in peace.

Your neighbor had a disease called alcoholism. If anyone should feel guilty, it’s you for thinking that it’s best to deny an alcoholic ‘relief’ at the end of their life.

I saw my brother go through withdrawals quite a few times. Trust me, it’s not pretty!

Your neighbor probably wasn’t feeling guilty. They most likely felt shame because they felt judged by you. Sweep your own porch first before telling your neighbors to sweep theirs.

You may not want to be around an alcoholic, which is understandable. Nor would I, especially someone who is mean, like the OP’s husband.

Allowing him to have booze is her way of surviving a difficult situation. It’s also a humane end for him.

I’m sure that she wishes that her husband could have gone into recovery, and remained sober.

I wanted my brother to be able to stay clean too. It wasn’t in the cards. I had to accept that.

The OP has decided to stay with her husband. That is her choice. All anyone can do now is to wish her well.

Personally, I wouldn’t stay with an addict if they weren’t able to stop drinking or doing drugs, but I certainly wouldn’t stand in judgment of a dying man who continued to drink or use drugs.

In fact, I would expect an addict to do just that. Would you want to die in misery?

Before you respond back with a reply, just think about if the shoe was on the other foot. What would you do? Choose to die in agony? Come on, you know that you wouldn’t do that.
(2)
Report
See 3 more replies
Look up
Dr. Berg on you tube. He is good. Talks sbiut liver and signs to look after..
I know you don’t need that, you’ve been there, done that.
Other people may need to see it.
he slso talks about liver transplant. And things you can do while in line for transplant..
you are a saint. Truly I don’t know how you can take the verbal abuse.
I read over your question..
I guess he would be too far gone for a transplant, besides, he hadn’t changed his habits.
Talk with his doc for evaluation for palliative or hospice care. You do need a break..
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Fawnby Sep 2023
My friend’s husband had a liver transplant. He was a former alcoholic. He said that he wished he hadn’t had it.

He was never totally well afterward. Many falls. Not a good personality. Wacko psychiatric behavior. Finally he went to a VA hospital and took another 5 years to die. It was a relief to all.
(1)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter