My mother suffered a massive stroke 12 years ago and suffered devastating physical consequences. I lived overseas but travelled home frequently 2-3 times a year for extended stays to help my father look after her. She finally passed away in January 2012 peacefully in her sleep. In 2010 I moved back to the US because my parents' situation was not getting any better. My employer at that time (a global company) agreed to a temporary transfer to allow me to work from our corporate offices and this allowed me to look after my parents. My father fell 2 months after I returned and broke his hip. He since has been able to walk again, has some minor health issues but does suffer from dementia. I do not live with him and arranged for around-the-clock care. I buy the groceries, pay the bills, arrange the staff, take him to doctor's appointments, etc but I don't live in the house because he is constantly called for me day and night and I can get no sleep and I must work. My father was a brilliant lawyer who apparently took care of everyone's business but his own. He had no burial arrangements for himself or my mother (which I've now taken care of), no insurance policy, no long-term healthcare plan. Nothing. My employer has now sent me a letter saying that my temporary contract is ending and I must report back to my place of employment by June 1st or lose my job (I'm in the meantime looking for employment here...good luck to me). What should I do? Stay? Go? Should I/can I force my father in to an assisted living facility even if he absolutely refused to go? Or should I leave him at home and spend every cent of money that he's set aside (which is quickly going) and risk having nothing if he does need to go into assisted living later? He's 89 but his family members have ALL lived extremely long lives (96+ years). I have an alcholic brother who is absolutely not help or support. Any suggestion anyone else who has been in a similar situation would be greatly appreciated.
This question is one so many try to answer. However, know it is also the primary problem for so many doesn't help you and answers is why you have posted this situation here.
Let's take a quick answer and get to the bottom of the stress, so many of us face. Your parents worked hard all of their lives to save for a rainy day. That rainy day has arrived and now is the time to take care of them.
The reality is one, does your father have enough money for this illness and two, what does his insurance cover. It is likely you will need to find a financial planner to assisted this challenge. There are many ways to shave money off the expected care when a person is living in a structured living setting. An Elder Law Attorney is extremely helpful for cost planning and formulating a 'care plan.' This person can also help with the family situation brought about by siblings and others close to the situation. Your return trip for employment will be a question you must answer for yourself. Certainly having an income is preferable to not, you might also want to speak to the attorney about this also.
I know little about your situation. There are so many variables so my answer is to visit the website for Justice in Aging (justiceinaging.com). No fees are collected to answer questions or to refer you to help in your immediate living area. These people know the legal situation and how to come to a resolution within your locale and legal barriers which may present themselves.
I hope you will find a correct answer for you. Please bring back questions for this group whenever you like. It is my belief that your situation merits a more in-depth look to provide any answers.